Struggling With Hair Loss

Hello ladies. I’m day 3 of my 2nd EC and yesterday made the decision to get my hairdresser to cut what was left of my hair into a short pixie cut. And I hate it!!!

I can’t look at myself in the mirror without crying and am even wearing a hat indoors (even though I’m alone) just so I don’t catch a glimpse of myself.

The kicker is that I tried the cold cap for 2 cycles but unfortunately the nurse who fit it on my 1st cycle used the wrong size and so it didn’t work. Hair started to shed by 2nd week and by Monday of this week I was getting bald patches. I persevered with the cold cap again on cycle 2 but if was absolute torture. I was finding it annoying finding hair everywhere so yesterday I made the difficult decision.

My worry now is that I’m going to hide away and not want anyone to see me like this. I feel like I’m not me anymore. I’ve lost my identity and look like a cancer patient (I know I am but I wanted to hide out from the world).

How have you ladies coped?? Helen x

Oh Helen,


I *feel* your pain 100% I felt the same way watching my hair fall out. When I had to cut my hair it was like the biblical character Samson, I lost all my ‘strength’. I think the thing for me was the sheer heartache of watching the shedding happen (even though at that stage I didnt’ have bald patches) I was sick sick sick of picking up after myself such that I got the clippers out myself and gave myself a no.8. I look awful (in my own opinion) and I also feel like I have lost my identity (along with other losses as part of chemo). I know for me that I often wear beany/sleep hats (light material) and elasticated bandannas at home and depending on how brave I’m feeling I wear them outside (if not brave I wear my wig). I think having the hat/bandanna with a bit of hair poking out at the edges least helps show that you do have hair it’s just you are wearing a hat today (sort of thing) so perhaps to the outside world (who really doesn’t care) they won’t think you have lost your hair.


I have cried myself so much - I look in the mirror feel like I look about 90 - grey, thinning and badly cut hair to boot (I only have myself to blame for the latter). I try not to look too much in the mirror - other than to check myself before I go out. 


You cry as much as you need to - but don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s horrible horrible horrible. You can always say you’re suffering from a scalp condition with temporary alopecia and your hair is suffering!! I was thinking of using that as an excuse if I needed to. 


Try the hat/bandanna thing - I bought a couple of elasticated bandannas from ‘anna bandanna’s’ website a couple of ‘buff’ scarfs too. I often wear a flowery sleep cap (soft and close fitting) with a cap/hat on top when I go out under the premise of the weather is a bit crap I don’t want to use a brolly. :wink:


I know there are other women who sort of like to be out there with the shaved head/funky scarves etc but I know it’s not the same for many of us. You are not alone.


I hope this helps you a little.


Ali xx



Thanks Ali. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Hubbie says I still look lovely but I know he’s just saying that to make me feel better. X

Hi ladies … I know 100% how u both feel every step of this journey is just S–t and horrendous as if the surgery and treatment isn’t enough u loose yourself completely… I am now one year to the day of finding the lump so am almost at end of my journey on herceptin till September but remember each and every step !!! Yes it’s horrendous when your hair starts coming out and I too had the cold cap but still lost it like fryer tuck … I had those bandannas Helen and got a false fringe from wigs 4 u to tuck under they are long enough to have bits at the side too which help you feel more yourself also check out baldy beautiful Andrea on you tube she is brilliant a make up beautician who had this 2014 she was on Lorraine Kelly . One day at a time ladies this is a horrible blip and we will all get through this … No I’m not strong or brave cried more in this last year than my whole life but good days and bad enjoy the good busy yourself on the bad … Take care xxxx??

Feel for you. I found wearing my wig was strange for me as it was so thick and full of hair, something my natural hair wasn’t. But then I came across a charity called www.heathers who provide real hair weaves to be worn under a hat or scarf. They saved my sanity! I just want everyone who may need them to know about this amazing product. Hope this helps. All the best in your treatment.