Hi This is the first time that I have been here. Bit unsure how things work ??? I suppose I am writing for some help and a little more understanding about Breast Cancer.
My best friend was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in August 2005. WIthin 10 days of being diagnosed she had to have a Mastectomy. At the time everything was a shock however we tried to pull together and deal with things appropriately Please forgive me, as I know that I can be a little insensitive - I’m writing this because I am worried about my friend today.
I am worried that she feel’s alone, that she feels that she has to deal with illness herself. I have tried to speak with her to try ot open her up, express her emotions as - however she refuses to look or acknowledge her illness - FEAR !!!
I don’t know if anyone has been in the same or similar position. She just tends to worry about things herself and can get into such a state, panic that she just end’s up running away and not dealing with her emotion’s, etc…
As somebody who cares agreat deal about her, I feel at times, very exasperated as I just would like to help her in whatever capacity. I understand that for her to have any help, that she must, in a way ask for it - however is that the only way that I can help ??
I hope that I have not offended anybody - I apologise if I have, I really hope that whoever reads this can help or send me any advice into how I can help her.
Hi Lee
Firstly you are a wonderful and very caring friend and your friend is very lucky to have you there for her and you certainly haven’t offended in any way, shape or form.
I have many supportive friends, some of whom are more supportive than others a bit like you in the sense that they take the problem on board. Your friend sounds like she needs to speak to a professional counsellor and somebody who is trained to deal with breast cancer and the issues and emotions arising as a result of it. Everybody deals with things in different ways; in the beginning I didn’t want to know anything about what I had - I knew I had breast cancer and knew I had a lot of treatment to get through but that was as much as I could deal with at the time until I was ready. The thoughts of having breast cancer never really go away and I remember the consultant saying to me that it’s a very lonely time - he was so right. I hate the night times - I find them quite scary. When treatment ends, it doesn’t mean everything goes back to normal - there is always the worry that the cancer will come back and then from what I understand you go for a check up every 3 months to make sure everything is ok and there is no reocurrence.
Do you think you can get your friend to log onto this website? There are so many supportive ladies here and when anybody new comes along they are welcomed with open arms - everybody just wants to help one another.
All you can do is be there for your friend and listen to her as you are doing and maybe suggest that she joins this wonderful website where she will get loads of support.
You mentioned above about wanting to know more about breast cancer - you may be better off speaking with one of the staff at Breast Cancer Care on the freephone number as they are fully trained and have all the knowledge and I’m sure would be able to provide support to you and give you some guidance.
There are moderators on this site who you can contact and they will give you the number to call. They monitor the discussions that take place so if one of them is reading this they’ll probably reply to you.
Wishing you well and hope you get some answers
RebzAmy xx
This is the first time that I have been here. Bit unsure how things work ??? I suppose I am writing for some help and a little more understanding about Breast Cancer.