Hi @jules_2025
Like your Mum I am HER2 positive. Ours is a long treatment path so it might be helpful to read the ‘HER2+ and need some buddies’ thread. It has been a lifeline to me. Very reassuring to read that those before me had got through their treatment and that life continues. We emerge altered in many ways and grateful that herceptin (trastuzumab) has changed the trajectory of our BC.
I had IDC and DCIS in my left breast. Initially was told I would have breast conserving surgery but was sent away with info about mastectomy. The next appt was with the surgeon. They informed me that owing to the distance between the two affected areas, I would need a mastectomy. Having done some reading this was my preferred option. Whilst I was told the risk of recurrence was the same whether I had a mastectomy or lumpectomy, my logic told me that the less breast tissue I had the less places it had to sneak back. Was also informed it was triple positive and as such I would need chemo and targeted therapy, timing of which was dependent on the results of an MRI scan. This revealed ‘it’ was more widespread and scattered throughout the breast, so like your Mum I had chemo etc first. Unfortunately but rather fortuitously, the scan also showed a few areas of concern in my right breast which were then biopsied. 50 days after my initial diagnosis, I was informed I had two areas of DCIS in the right one. I was very thankful for that MRI and the decision to send me to another hospital for MRI guided biopsies, else I may have found myself with IDC in 3-5 years which could have required chemo and surgery again.My head and gut reaction to this news was to have a double mastectomy.
When I was informed that I had breast cancer I realised that at the moment I had no emotional attachment to my breasts. They’d served their purpose and were now responsible for threatening my life. I wanted them gone. I’ve not been someone who had them out on show. They were small until my mid forties when they seem to finally grow from a B to a DD by the time I reached 55. I recall being told by the surgeon I had large breasts with not too much droop. Made my husband and I laugh in the way home. I had been told by the Radiology Consultant that I had dense breast tissue which made them firmer. Interestingly after the first round of chemo they were both much softer. Much to my husbands horror I did purchase a plaster of Paris casting kit. My daughter kindly offered to do it for me. My breast plate is currently in my plotting shed. Needs a tidy up then I plan to paint them and mount them on the wall!
I had the option of double mastectomy and going flat; having a left mastectomy with immediate reconstruction with an implant and breast conserving surgery with an uplift on the right; a double mastectomy with reconstruction with implants or autologous reconstruction (DIEP). After chemo I remained resolute that I wanted the double mastectomy so opted for implants. I woke up from surgery elated that the diseased breasts were gone and whilst the replacements are perkier than the originals, they look good. With my clothes on I look no different.
Early on I was pragmatic about my lot. I accepted that the route to recovery was to let them go and it was the price to pay to live a longer life.
A couple of people have clumsily said to me about getting free ones on the NHS and have called them my new tits or titties - loathe those words. It is as if they forgot that I had to consent to have my breasts effectively amputated. To me the implants are simply replacements. They are largely numb so no sensation from my armpit, in my nipples and across to an inch from my cleavage.
Personally the hardest part of the treatment was the chemo. Surgery and the recovery was a breeze in comparison. The numbness was a bonus as I had little pain post op!
I had a pathological complete response - the chemo had dissolved the cancer in both breasts. No trace of it and none found in my sentinel nodes. This meant I did not need radiotherapy or further chemo.
Your Mum is still right in the thick of it. Her feelings about losing her breast are entirely normal and to be expected. She’s fortunate to have you reaching out on the forum to get some insight about our thoughts and decision process. Hopefully it will help you to make sense of it for yourself as a bystander. It’s a really hard place to be - my lovely Dad had three different cancers and I was his advocate and supporter throughout.
Here is the link for the HER2 thread. An amazing bunch of women. Reckon it’s a good 10 hours of reading from start to finish. It’s like a story. New characters, lots of humour and much sage advice, wisdom and hope
Best wishes xx