Hi ladies and gents,

So after a clear diagnosis following chemo and radio last year my girlfriend’s Mum (47) has been diagnosed with 4 secondary metasteses in her leg and hip. No organs appear to be affected and xrays and bloodwork are clean everywhere else. Unfortunately, she’s Russian and the survival rates for primary breast cancer, let alone secondary are dreadful here, so it’s very worrying. We sent her to Germany for her initial treatment, which seemed to be successful…and now this.
She’s been advised not to travel to Germany again by the radiologist who says her hip is in a really bad way and could be badly damaged by travel. However, she has no pain at all. Does anyone know if this is normal? We’re waiting for further information at the moment.
Basically everyone’s terrified. After the relief of the new year this has, unsurprisingly, come as a real shock. My girlfriend hasn’t stopped crying for days, her father has almost shut down and I’m left wondering what I can do to try and make things better. Was there anything in particular that your partners did, or that you wished they had done that helped you? I’m doing the normal cuddling, listening, bringing tea and tissues etc. but I feel terribly helpless, as I imagine many do. I went through it with my Mum 17 years ago but, thank God, she recovered as is a hardy 74 year old! This is a new one on me and it’s doubly tough, because my gf’s Mum lost her sister to stomach cancer at practically the same age.
I shall keep following the site and hopefully there’ll be some positive news coming. Send us your thoughts guys, Russia’s a crappy place to have this disease.
Lots of love to those living with this s**t!

All I ask for from my husband is to be there as much as he can. Lots of hugs & cuddles & reassurance that he loves me. Sounds like you’re doing this already!
Check out the bone mets thread & you’ll find lots of good advice plus lots of hope as some ladies have lived with bone mets for many years.
I have mets in most vertebra, hips, femur, ribs, shoulders & humerous & I have just recently travelled 11,000 miles for a 4 week holiday in NZ. I have pain which is managed with paracetamol & diclofenc. My secondary diagnosis came after one of my lower vertebra fractured so my bones aren’t brilliant. I guess what I’m trying to say is challenge the radiologist, understand what really bad is, what damage could be done & how this can be avoided.
Good luck

Often, if the hip/femur is looking really weak, I have seen prophylactic orthopaedic surgery, ie put in some metalwork BEFORE the hip gets to breaking point. If she isn’t going to be able to have effective treatment in Russia to control the bone mets, might this be an option to prevent pathological fracture occurring?

Otherwise, patients should be on protected weightbearing on crutches, a walking aid or even use a wheelchair if necessary. I find it hard to believe she is really unable to travel, taking sufficient precautions … Just my 2 cents as a Physiotherapist and fellow breast cancer patient …

I was diagnosed with hip met at the age of 49, against my radiotherapist’s advice I have been skiing twice since diagnosis. i am obviously very careful. I have also walked the length of the river Thames for charity last summer. I know we are all different and that your girlfriend’s mother has more mets than I have, but what I am trying to say is that I totally agree with Morwenna In both account. With appropriate mesure, she should be able to travel to Germany And you might want to investigate prophylactic surgery Or a hip replacement.
Your girlfriend needs time to adjust to this diagnosis, it is tough for everyone.
Take care.