Hi Jazza, sending you big hugs. I had to cancel our holiday too. Luckily it was just the ferry so I haven’t lost too much. Will have to make do with short trips away in the motor home here, as many as poss before the kids break up! Having said that, chemo doesn’t make you feel like doing much, but it is still early days!! Xx
Hi Feenix I agree the whole reconstruction issue is daunting. My latest letter from the surgeon says the tummy Op I could consider is a once in a lifetime surgery. It’s also very long and requires some serious recovery time.Alternativeky implants will need replacing after 8 to 10 years. I’m trying not to think about it too much whilst I go through the chemo but ultimately I’ll need to make a decision. We are still women with or without our breasts!!!
I’ve msnaged to stave off the nausea with my meds today but keep falling asleep. I’m sure it’s partly the chemo but also I’m drained emotionally. Hope we can all get a good rest tonight xxx
Hi Feenix, oh I remember the reading material regarding reconstructions, overwhelming although my 15 year old son was fascinated and a great help to me! I found myself asking everyone I knew what they would do although I think I kind of knew what I wanted I think. I told everyone I was more than just a pair of boobs… Think I bored them senseless actually but it helped me! Now I’m telling myself I am more than a head of hair!!!
Here’s to restful nights for everyone… Kip X
Ah CDC, I think leaky eyes day are part of the chemo process, I had one about 3 days after chemo, really depressed and justn’t couldn’t see an end, it really helped once I started to feel like me again. Although, I am having a down time at present, I think I’m scared about the results from my bone scans etc, keep thinking I have back ache and putting two and two together and making five I think. My hair is still shedding, getting thinner but still looks ok so avoiding the shave. I did brave a walk around the village wearing a little hat yesterday and felt ok, got a few looks but just stared back!! My wig company had prioritised my wig so that its ready for early next week… I never realised that it took so long to get so if any of you are thinking of getting one, do it early! I went 2 weeks ago to try some, then they ordered them in the right colours (which took 2 weeks and then they had to make adjustments to the size, which should take 2-3 weeks although they did mark it urgent for me. Need to get some scarves now, just to have some options… not sure how to tie them though… any advice?
Have a good weekend all, Love Kip xx
Soz to chip in again but re deciding if you want implants can you have them if having radiotherapy as I was told you can’t although I can’t remember if I have seen something somewhere about mesh stopping any damage due to radiotherapy? I am looking into proton therapy although I think its too expensive as radiotherapy can cause cosmetic damage and damage heart and lungs. My cousin has a shadow on her lungs which looks like a chronic chest condition if she has an xray.
Hi Linda
I think RT can cause capsulisation/affect implant so don’t usually put permanent implants in.
There is a risk with everything to do with treatment. I don’t know anything about proton therapy but have read a post somewhere by a lady who had it … can’t remember though if she had it insyead of surgery and other usual treatments offered.
Are you due surgery soon?
Hope you’re doing ok x
Hi cdc, not sure if my hospital offer the scarf course, we do have a Macmillan center there which ha# hats wigs etc and lots of courses. I’ll find out. How did you access your someone like me thing?
Hi Ladies. I am interested to find out about scarves too. Not a clue what to do with them. I have bought a couple that have elasticated backs so that’s a start! I also bought a couple of sleep caps which are lovely and soft but way to big even with hair!!
Enjoying a lazy day in the garden. Trying to stay in the shade like a good girl. Hope you are all having a good day. Just keep talking. Lots of love Kx
Yes. Felt better today than before. It takes me a while to get going in the morning but I’m fine by lunchtime ! Weeds growing nicely! I wander around and pull them up every now and then. But the bindweed always wins! C
Sorry for late reply and thanks Feenix for explaining how to get in touch with the Someone Like Me Service. Yesterday was horrendous. The feelings of detachment and ‘other-worldliness’ were overwhelming. Went for lunch with my OH and daughter but couldn’t ‘feel’ a thing. It was like my body was going through the motions… So upsetting. I feel Cancer is robbing me of my relationships as I just don’t have the energy/stamina to engage. Thankfully a friend who has been through chemo popped by in the evening while I was crashed in bed blubbering. She told me she had felt this way and understood. Also that throughout the cycle I will have better days. Thankfully today I’m a little brighter. Off to see a therapist this morning so hoping she’ll be able to help… I think the shock of diagnosis and treatment is hitting me full on. A friend’s young daughter commented that I’d cut my hair short and I just didn’t know what to say. Goodness knows how people will react to me being bald!! I’m going to make the most of the energy I’ve got this morning (I have a good couple of hours as soon as I get up then end up crashing) and have a little walk in the sunshine and rest all afternoon. I’m really stumped with regards to headgear but hoping to meet some people at the workshop on Thursday as I have seen some wearing beautifully tied scarves. Hope they can give me some tips. I’ll pass them on if I get any. Hope everyone is faring ok. Oh forgot to say the hospital has now cancelled two further appointments with my oncologist meaning I haven’t seen her at all since signing the consent form for chemo. Is that normal?? I had two letters with two different times booked for tomorrow and thought I would be getting my results. I have no idea what’s going on as I only found out when I called the hospital with regards to medication and wanted to know which time I should arrive. Both show as cancelled on their system. Could do without the stress of chasing things up! Hope my BCN can work out what’s going on. Take care and hugs everyone. X
Hi cdc. Sorry you are having a rough time. I had a meaningless argument with my beautiful daughter yesterday and now feel so guilty. Partly it is my own fault as I haven’t really spoken to anyone except you guys about how I feel. No tears, no rants.
Appointments seem to be another common denominator for us all. If I hadn’t rung up I would not have known when my chemo was due to start. However, when I was there they were brilliant and write down all the booked appointments. I only saw my oncologist once before chemo. I am due to see him the day of my next session.
First day I haven’t really felt sick. Will try to do some housework and shopping before I crash!
Have a good day ladies. Kxx
Oh CDC I know exactly how you feel, I am sitting here crying and can’t stop. Hair falling out has really hit me hard… my son just said “blimey you have cancer, focus on that not just losing some hair”… I know he’s right and he’s only 15 but I feel like I have no life at the moment, just one appointment after another, one side effect after another and then have to keep on going, doing stuff trying to be positive and all I really want is to curl up in a ball and cry and cry. Those bloody appointments are another thing we have to deal with when we really shouldn’t have to, its hard enough without organising the NHS! My appointment is Wednesday to see ongologist whom I haven’t met yet either! i think the stress of worrying out results is also getting me down this week. I HATE THIS ROLLER COASTER!!
RANT OVER… back to lower case… .lets all take deep breaths and hope for better days tomorrow… think I need to shave the head and move on…
Love to all… big big hugs…
Kip
xx
Hi Ktk, Kip and CDC,
So sorry you are all feeling so awful at the moment. Although I can’t help re appts I just wanted to reassure you that the whole of your chemo cycle you won’t feel like this. I know it is different for everyone but I tend to find during the first week I feel tired and have side effects but as I go into the second week I feel so much better physically and emotionally even though this is known as the danger week re infections and by week 3 I feel almost normal and am always upbeat for this week. I have walked 3-4 miles almost everyday throughout chemo (I have my 5th cycle on Friday). I think walking and being outside has really helped.
Regarding hair loss I think it is something most of us underestimate how it will make us feel. Beforehand I was a bit blasé thinking it’s only hair, when my hair started falling out I found it soul destroying. I am cold capping so have had enough coverage up until now but now my parting is very wide and I have a bald patch on top of my head, which I try and cover with hats and scarves. Someone on my thread who has shaved her head decided she was going to style it out and there is help on UTube with scarves. There is also a course called look good feel better held at most hospitals/cancer centres and you get a free goody bag of make up to take home.
Most of all I wanted to say how you feel is normal and you won’t feel this bad for the whole 18 weeks, you will have plenty of good days. X
Thanks Michelle, I am on day 15 and feeling really well physically, just the hair thing I think. I actually have hairdresser coming in half hour to shave it off, hoping that will be better than having it falling out all over the place and looking at the bald patches!
Cdc snap!! Ask your go for something to help with constipation. I’ve also got mouthwash today. I feel like I’ve eaten too hot pizza! Enjoy time with your mum while you are feeling brighter. X
Hi Feenix. Make the most of OH being away. Have the girls round! We’ll bring the Prosecco??
Hi Feenix, as you may remember I started chemo 8 days after diagnosis. In some ways that feels like a lifetime ago as life really has turned upside down since as it does for all of us. But actually the chemo seems to have gone by fairly quickly. I think the nice weather has helped. Yes 5th cycle on Friday, 6th on 20th July and then I’m done and move on to surgery, followed by rads. Hopefully some sort of normal life will return at Christmas although I’m not sure I will feel ‘normal’ for a long time after that. How do you come to terms with all of this?
I read that you will be having a mx too. Will that be your 3rd op? Sorry you are having such an awful time, none of it is easy but to have to keep going back to more bad news must be very difficult emotionally. I hope it all gets sorted soon. I understand your thoughts on recon too. I don’t think I can have a recon straight way because of radiotherapy. I think this will be a good thing as it willl give me some breathing space away from hospitals and treatment etc.
We have both come a long way since the dark days in March x
Hear Hear Feenix… I keep thinking of Christmas and hoping that all this crap will be fading away…I need “me” back too! Perhaps we just get a new version of “me”?
Afternoon ladies
Kip … our old selves are still there just a bit trampled on … we will emerge, rise above the changes bc has brought about, the cr@p it’s chucked at us and be better for it. Got to stay positive although that’s easier said than done… some days will be better than others. I have to have a positive mantra going through my head when I go into scared rabbit in the headlights mode. … might write it down and pin it to fridge as a reminder. How are you adapting to your haircut? I’m conscious it’s your appointment tomorrow so I’ve got everything crossed. I’m surprised they don’t have Christmas things in the shops by now !!! :smileylol: … maybe after the summer sales ?? You’ll soon be planning and getting organised for it, so it’ll feel nearer.
cdc … hope your onc appt has gone ok. Pleased you’re feeling much improved today. Have a lovely time at your mam’s… enjoy the country air and walks.
ktk … hope you’re having an ok day today
After a overcast start the day has turned sunny again … not much of a view first thing at seaside
Onc results to day, absolutely petrified…on the plus side wearing new wig, good to have some hair, although takes some getting used to. I burst into tears just seeing it in the box but have braved the village this morning… almost makes you want someone to ask about your hair just so you can say “ha! its a wig!”".
Hope you all have good days today, I’ll report in later with onc results! big hugs Kip xxx