Hi
I have recently been diagnosed , grade 3 invasive ER and PR -ve.
I am having surgery on Friday ( then chemo and Radiotherapy) I have 16 month old twins and was still breastfeeding. I am finding it hard as she still wants my milk and is pulling at my top! I gave her last feed yesterday but i am heartbroken about it. I have to stop i know for the surgery but it HARD!!!
I am also worried about the surgery- WLE and SNB, how will i be, i have to look after the girls by the Wed cos my husband has to back to work- will i be ok? How much does it hurt?
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Hi Rainbowjo, It must be really difficult for you at the moment. I hated stopping breastfeeding too. I didn’t have to stop because of the cancer, as that was diagnosed 18 months later, but it was still emotionally hard. I do hope you and the twins get used to getting lots of comfort from lots of big cuddles and other fun things. I had SNB and it really wasn’t that bad. I felt fine quite quickly after and quite normal after a week. I didn’t have a WLE but a mx, so no info on that I’m afraid, but I’m sure someone will be along with knowledge of that soon.
Best wishes to you all xxx
Dear Jo
I know is hard to stop breastfeeding but you have given the twins an amazing start and carried on much longer than many do. I had to stop breastfeeding as diagnosed stage 4 grade 3 negative 6 days post surgery and was breast feeding. I had mastectomy but was fine after day or two so am sure you will be fine with WLE but just be careful lifting not to pull scar.
best wishes
jo
Hi Rainbowjo,
I agree - you’ve done wonderfully to feed your twins for as long as you have and that’s given them a great start in life. Take it from me, stopping breast feeding is hard at any time - my daughter stopped naturally at six months (I was back at work so she was only feeding early in the morning and late at night by then) and I was so upset.
From my experience the WLE shouldn’t cause too many problems to you and it looks as though the SNB won’t be too bad from what the others have said. I had an ANC and I’d say you’d have needed longer to recover if you had that as it’s far more invasive and more painful afterwards.
It will be harder to look after your twins if you have a drain left in as you won’t want to risk them pulling on it so it might be a good idea to have someone on call to help out if you need them. I don’t know if drains are usually left in after WLE/SNB or just after ANC. If you need an ANC in the future I’d strongly recommend that you allow quite a bit longer to recover before you’re on your own with two little ones.
Good luck with it all and hugs to you and your family.
I think drains aren’t usual for WLE and SNB, so that should make things easier.
Finishing breastfeeding can be a bit difficult if you HAVE to do it rather than if it just comes to a natural end. I only had to do that once, with my third, as I was already pregnant with the fourth and was completely knackered, and something had to give.
At the age your littlies are, they don’t need it nutritionally but it is such a good comfort and bond for you that it’s hard to give up. Would you be able to give them something special to take the place of breastfeeding? A special toy to cuddle while they’re cuddling you rather than suckling? That might help particularly in the days when you’re feeling a bit tender and delicate after surgery.
Regarding recovery, I was back to driving two or three days afterwards, but obviously I learnt to protect the affected side anytime anyone came close - I found I held my left arm up in front of me to protect my breast almost instinctively, particularly when anyone came in for a hug. You quickly develop a knack of hugging with one arm! If things go smoothly and you recover well from the anaesthetic you should be fine to look after your littlies by the following Wednesday, but if you have any friends who can come over to your place to keep you company and keep and eye on the twins, try to organise something. Do you have any friends with kids of a similar age? Even if you just have someone come over for a couple of hours to help you amuse the twins, or to give a hand with getting tea ready, take all the offers of help you can get, particularly towards the end of next week once your other half has gone back to work.
I was diagnosed whilst still breastfeeding my then 8 mth old. I had my chemo first, so had to stop so they could start all my poisons. It was hard- I found some comfort in my daughter being a star and adjusting really fast to a bottle - but I was so upset as we had a really great breastfeeding relationship and I had been intending to feed her until she self weaned. My son was so much harder to feed so i had enjoyed having a baby that fed well, and I always fed and snuggled her to sleep. It was lovely.
I found it only took a few weeks to feel OK about stopping though - they same as when I stopped with my son at 7 mths due to his feeding troubles.
But I would just try and focus on the wonderful start you have given your babies and remember all the lovely bonding times fondly, and allow yourself to take on your treatments now.
I had a WLE but a full axillary dissection, I didn’t lift my children for 2 weeks after, but I guess I could have managed after a week if I was forced. I was too sore before then - but a bigger operation than an SNB. My kids were 12 mths and 2.5 when I had my operation. Lifting my little one in and out of the cot was a hard one though. But I did spend all day with them after the first 48hrs and was able to meet their care needs OK - just not the lifting.
Hi
Thank you so much to everyone , it helps so much that people understand. It is easy to feel alone in this situation as i am sure you all also understand. Thanks for the reassurance that i will feel better about the feeding soon,and ideas to help, it is the hardest thing for me at the moment.
Thanks all for the info regarding the op, i feel better about it now and reassured that it will be ok.
Hi Jo
its many years since I stopped breastfeeding my youngest, but remember the sense of loss when she weaned herself early. I can’t imagine how you are feeling - you must have so many layers of anxiety.
All i can do is send love and hope you recover quickly. There will be things you can do to keep up your closeness and care for them, but I’m sure that friends and family will be very happy to help in practical ways - remember, its good for people who love you to be able to DO something.
take care xxx
mon
Hi Jo, enormous kudos to you for being so considerate of the twins when you are going through so much.
Don’t however minimise, ignore or let anyone belittle, the effect that quitting breast-feeding has on you yourself. Not only from the “I feel such a failure” aspect - and Jo, you are SO not a failure!! … I managed all of five days, on one baby! - but the physical effect of hormonal upheaval has a depressing emotional efffect just like if you ever had PMT before, it’s like that as your body hormone levels drop, completing the post-pregnancy changes that started at delivery. Oh and you are shattered from surgery and an anaesthetic too… There is almost a second wave of baby-blues on top of the stress of cancer and its treatment, so IMHO a little extra support would be in order, maybe the health visitor or a good postnatal/toddler support group could help. Don’t let it get on top of you.