I have my surgery next week and feel the same I’m terrified and having panic attacks xx we will be ok
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You can do this my love. I’ve never met you but am so proud of you. It’s so bloody scary but you’re giving yourself a future. Full of holidays, birthdays, laughter, music and love.
I’ll be thinking of you next week xxx
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Thank you so much for your detailed reply @bellalasagne1 - I really appreciate it. I will message you privately if that’s OK?
X
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I am the same @motherducky - how was your preop appointment? I actually don’t have a date yet as I had a meltdown at the last appointment. The surgeon told me to go away and take some time. Since, I’ve kept changing the appointment as I am unable to face it. I’ve explained that I’m terrified of the impact this will have on my (already in the real pits) mental health. Happy 39th birthday to me!
Sending 
X
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I’d be more than happy to keep you updated on my journey if that may help? I’m just distracting myself from it all as much as possible. Each little step is a milestone. Pre op done. Then hospital bag packed done.
Always here if you need a friend and how you feel is normal. I’m dreading it with every fibre but I know I have to do it.
My anaesthetist said to me when I met her, although this is a long surgery it’s straightforward and not near any of my major organs. I’m having the mastectomy and the reconstruction from my tummy. So a good 6-8 hour op.
Have you tried doing some relaxation excercises?
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@Motherduckie - I’ve just had that done on 10/7 so feel free to ask any questions x
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Most important question, how are you doing? You are so brave!
I think I’m scared about the anaesthetic and a bit scared about how it will all work when I get home etc. Any of your journey you’d be prepared to share will help normalise this awful process we are all going through.
Smiling to think you are on the other side of this nasty step and I’m hoping you’re feeling positive and healing xxx
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I’m doing ok thank you. We are all brave because we have to be and are here to carry each other through. I’m squeamish as well so wasn’t looking forward to it.
At the hospital they take care of you with constant visits to check your flaps, bp, temp. Physio comes re arm exercises (my arms are fine as he only took 2 nodes from the armpit using the incision at the nipple area of the breast - the only incision up there to do mastectomy, node removal and reconstruction! Amazing!). Drains were removed carefully on days 3/4. Best to cover them up if you’re like me. I didn’t want to see anything!
They get you to sit up the next day then to do a little walk asap. It all feels very tight but not painful.
Boob is multicoloured and dented but I’m assured it will be fine and saw the outcome on women at a hospital info evening. No pain there but a little sore under arm due to using deodorant maybe which was a bit silly!
The medication all disagreed with me but I am probably an exception. They took me off the heavy drugs and I’ve been fine on the paracetamol and ibuprofen since.
Coughing is really difficult so clear up any issues you might have before hand. You must do your bottle blowing exercises they give you to protect your lungs apparently!
Back home is fine. I can walk up and down stairs fairly easily. It’s just a bit odd how tight it all feels but once you’re on your feet it’s ok. I’m not stooping too much - barely at all now unless after a long lie down.
Be careful lifting or reaching as you do feel twinges. Got some random ones yesterday which I’m assuming is the start of the healing process. Hubby thought the nerves coming back to life? Who knows. But it’s ok!
I have an appointment back with the plastics team on Friday 8 days post op to see how it’s all looking. Appointment with consultant the following Friday re pathology results of the tumour area/breast that was taken out. 
Ask away xx
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Hi @motherducky , I cannot relate more to this, I never had any surgery before my mastectomy with implant reconstruction in February and I had the same fear with you for weeks before my surgery. It is totally normal. The anaesthesiologist helped me calm down a lot just before they put me to sleep.
Also, due to a hematoma that formed in my breast I had to go into a second surgery with only half an hour notice as it was an emergency, only 30hours after my first one.
Even though getting full anaesthesia again so soon scared me I was much more calm than the first time, I believe because I had the surgery experience and also felt great joy and relief after the second surgery.
So I can say being anxious about it is unavoidable but the feeling after being done with it is one of the best things I felt during my cancer adventure.
Good luck with your surgery!
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This is so helpful! Can I ask… sleeping and night wear. Any tips. Trying to find a Velcro front nightie as think that will be easier but how are you finding sleeping on your back etc?
I’m so glad you are doing ok. It’s really great you are sharing as this really helps me. It makes me feel more confident that I can do it all!!
The pjs weren’t an issue as they kept me in a gown most of my stay. I had bought light cotton button up pj top/shorts set from Primark due to the extreme heat. It was so hot in there. Bring portable rechargeable fans. I had 2 plus the 2 attached to the bed!
The pjs were useful for the regular “flap checks” they do which invokes touching the vessel points to make sure they’re warm and then listening with a Doppler to hear the blood flow. You’ll get used to anyone and everyone coming for a look/listen!
PJs maybe better than a nightie so you’ll be less exposed. They had the odd look at the Lower half but not so much.
Sleeping on my back has given me back ache. It’s a bit sore and I can’t do a child’s pose or roll around with my knees up to counteract the curled up position. It’s bearable though and I’ve been fairly comfortable especially now I feel I can sleep flatter so just 2 pillows under head and knees now.
Hubby bought me a Tetrix type mix and match set which is really helpful to support you in different positions because i do feel the need to keep changing positions now I’m home. The best position is standing and day 8 I’m fully upright now. Going to walk to the end of the road for the first time. It’s difficult because it’s hilly where I live.
Keep asking xx
Hello everyone.
Hope you are all doing ok as can be. I’ve woken up riddled with anxiety and panic (I find mornings are the worst) - & I can’t get myself in a head space regarding my advised and required next steps.
I am 38 with IBC. Surgeon says I need a mastectomy. I am genuinely terrified and horrified at the thought - plus all the additional factors.
I have had 2 appointments and in both I’ve explained that I really don’t think I can do this. I know time is of the essence & I’m aware of the risks involved here but I cannot forsee myself managing this.
X
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I have just had a single sided mastectomy and lymph clearance 10 days ago. I cried on the admission day as it had been a long 3 months waiting for final plan and had only found out a week before it was a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy. A lot to process in a short period of time. I was scared of the surgery, mostly the lymph removal as it is in the squishy bit of the body with veins and what not. I have never had any surgery before either so the setting and all the people were a bit overwhelming but I tried to stay calm knowing that the alternative was simply not an option. The medical staff were lovely, kind and caring and once you take your wee pills before you lie down you just want to sleep sleep sleep anyway. Waking up after surgery is a little hazy as your GA will make you feel out of it. My overall experience was one of care, sensitivity and understanding. You will get through it, we are all stronger than we think.
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I know it’s so scary, all day I’ve been worrying about mine but I promise you, you can do this.
Have you thought about some hypnotherapy. I went to an in for action evening and one of the ladies said that this really helped her.
I promise it’s ok to be scared but you can do this. The point you are here asking for support shows that you want to. Xx
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Went and got all my PJs today and pillows. This really helped. Would you mind me asking about your post surgery underwear. I’m getting really confused on what I need and what sizes. I need bras and compression nickers or a corset but with a gusset that opens so I can pee. Any pointers?
They put a surgical bra on me (but I understand not all surgeons do this even at the same hospital).
I bought 2 post surgery bras from Primark. Go a bit bigger than your normal size.
The shape is not good in the bras so today I tried on a non wired bra just to see how they’re looking and I’m pleased with the result.
Re pants. I was naked bottom half in a hospital gown for first day or 2 and had a catheter after the op. I bought normal very soft silky pants (pack of 3 from Primark in neutral colours) with virtually no seams and they have been very comfy. The wound sits just below where the top of a bikini would sit so avoid that level if possible for the top edge of the pants. The belly button is also stitched so nothing too high.
Attaching my photos for inspiration. Not looking so clever underneath but who’s looking there!
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Thank you so much. You are looking fantastic and so strong. I’m so happy you’re on your road to recovery after your surgery!
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Hi sbee
Hope some of these posts have helped you today. Sometimes mornings are the worst as when you wake you realise all that you are going through isn’t a dream 
You’ve had a lot of information to process but these ladies are absolutely right, you can do this and you’ll find strength you didn’t realise you had.
Keep yourself busy between your appointments, do the things you enjoy doing, and you may find your anxiety easing a little.
You’ve got this… x
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Thank you. You will be too very soon. If you want to dm me or call me I’m happy to talk you through any of it as it’s very fresh!
Day 10 today which I read was a good timescale to feel you’re getting somewhere. Still very tiring to do too much but it’s all good now. Xx