My husband and I are hoping to find a surrogate so we can have a baby. We have 3 frozen embryos (my sister donated the eggs). I just wondered whether anyone else is in the process of doing this or has done it and can give us any advice. There are two organisations which can help i.e. Surrogacy UK and COTS but we can’t even decide which to join. I would love to hear from anyone who has any experience of surrogacy.
Just in case there are any problems with my post, I know it is illegal in the UK to advertise for a surrogate so I would like to make it clear I am not looking for a surrogate with this post.
Best wishes,
Rowena
Hi Rowena, I have also just started on the surrogacy journey. Luckily I already have a surrogate (my sister-in-law very kindly offered, I was totally blown away!) but we haven’t actually started trying yet. We decided against using either of the agencies but have found a solicitor who specialises in this area. I would suggest you look at www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum, they have a section on surrogacy and you will find the solicitor’s details in there (look under heading ‘New to surrogacy’) along with a lot of help and support. I would love to know how you get on with things, I’ll certainly keep you up to date on my progress if you like, we are hoping to start trying for a baby very soon.
Hi there,
Thanks for replying. It is good to know there is someone else out there in the same position.
I am finding it really tough at the minute. I am spending hours on the message boards at COTS and SUK but feel I’m not really getting much out of it. I know we should join and then we would be ‘Gold Members’ and have access to more people but we still haven’t decided which to join. I’m also finding it very stressful feeling I am being asessed and judged every time I post. It is much more relaxing posting here on the BCC site!
I am finding the prospect of all the hoops we will have to jump through to find a surrogate very daunting. I have three sisters but none of them have children so I wouldn’t ask them to carry a child for me.
Keep in touch and let me know how you are getting on.
love, Rowena
I know what you mean. It’s a pity you don’t get more access to the forums to help you make a decision before you part with all that money. It’s hard when you haven’t yet found a surrogate, it’s not something you can easily bring up in conversation with friends, and you have to be so careful that you’re not doing anything illegal if you’re looking outside your friends and family. I’ve been thinking about it for absolutely ages and I’m so grateful to my sister-in-law for such a generous and selfless offer. Up until that point I thought it would never happen. Now I can see there’s a real possibility that I might have another child.
If you need to chat, please feel free to PM me, although I do check these forums quite often.
Wendycrackers