I found out earlier this year that I am a BRCA2 carrier. I think it may have come from my father’s side of the family. I feel that I should inform my female relatives on that side of the family but am unsure how to broach the subject. I am aware that finding out that someone in your family is carrying one of these genes raises all sorts of issues especially if you have not had breast cancer. (I had breast cancer last year)
I wondered if anybody had any advice about how to go about sharing this information - or how not to! Does anything make this information easier to take?
Thanks
Ismene
Hi Ismene
It is a difficult subject to broach - have you spoken to your genetics counsellor on how best to go forward with letting members of your family know? I obviously don’t know the dynamics of your family and how people will react to the news so it’s difficult to say that one solution would fit all.
My understanding as well is that with BRCA2 there’s the possibility of prostate but you may want to double check that. I’m currently waiting for my results (I’ve also got breast cancer - secondaries) as there will be a knock on effect with other members of my family but they all knew beforehand that I was going for the test and I asked them, at that time, whether they wanted to know the outcome of the test.
Good luck.
Pinkdove
Hi Ismene
I am not in the same position as you as there are no more family members after me and I don’t have cancer. I tested brac1 in september after loosing my sister to BC. I am very matter of fact and would always be told frankly and straight. You should be informative and give them all the facts and figures but emphasize that it may never happen as they have a 50/50 chance of having it anyway but don’t play down the seriousness of it all. Some may get upset and even angry with you but if you don’t tell them and they develop cancer you would feel awful.
Try and sound positive and emphasize how they are being given the chance to get screened and take action that you never had.
It is very difficult but you could save their lives.
Wishing you lots of luck and please let us know how you got on.
Best wishes
Katie xxx
Hi,
I also have BRCA 2 mutation and have had bc. My genetics clinic gave me letters to send out to family members. I sent some to relatives I don’t really have much contact with and the others I told face to face. It isn’t easy and I found some looked at me as though I was an alien, others just couldn’t understand the implications and some were very pleased I told them, took it seriously and sought testing themselves. Breast, ovarian and prostrate cancer are linked to the mutation so I told male and female relatives. what anybody does with the information is up to them but I felt they had a right to know so they could take appropriate action. The one person I haven’t told is my 14 year old daughter, she isn’t mature enough yet to understand so I haven’t said anything. I’m absolutely dreading the day I do have to tell her.
good luck xx
Thankyou for your comments. My situation is slightly complicated by the fact that my mother has also had breast cancer (as have other members of her extended family)but tested negative - meaning that the mutation is likely to have come from my father’s side. He died of bowel cancer when I was in my teens. Given this family members on my mother’s side were almost prepared to be told that they had a chance of having the mutation, but members on my father’s side who I have less contact with obviously will not have been expecting this.
I should try and talk to the genetic nurse again but I have been having trouble getting another appointment for some reason. I will try again after christmas.
Thanks
Ismene
Hi, I found that I have the brca2 gene last year and was advised by the genetics nurse to tell family members and she gave me a letter to send to people, in addition to speaking/writing myself.
my mum died of bc her sister died of ovarian ca in her 30’s.i was dx with bc early this year.i was tested positive for braca1 gene after a long lost cousin of mum had genetic testing in 2001. i wish she would have told me earlier.The problem is now my sister doesnot want to know. she has stopped ringing me or speaking to me since the diagnosis as if it is contagious.The gene was passed from my mother’s father side. All my cousins are happy in their life. No one has rang me following the diagnosis.I tired to contact them by email. none has come forward. so what do I do. I just hope they will get in touch with me and I will let them know.
Hi Neelima
I think your family have all their priorities wrong! I am sorry they are giving you aditional stress that you really don’t need right now. I think that they are in denial and angry and your sister is probably so upset about everything that she is dealing with it by taking her anger out on you. She may come round if you give her some space.
You have done your best. Sadly It is now up to them now. Everyone deals with stuff differently.
You should be very proud of yourself for being strong and putting their health first before worrying about yourself. You are a very kind and thoughtful person.
However maybe now you should concentrate on yourself getting better.As much as you love them, Leave them to it. You need lots of positive thoughts around you now. Worry and stress can drain you like a sponge.
Make sure you look after yourself.
Best wishes
Katie xxxx