My wife has been told her BC has spread to her lungs, and she has a lump now in her neck. She has been told it is now incureable and inoperable, is this the same as Terminal? This obviously has messed with our heads as we are unsure and not very clear on the outlook
Hi rmat01, I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis. I’ve been living with bone secondaries since 2003. I was told my cancer wasn’t curable but it was very treatable…and so it has been. Secondary spread is considered eventually terminal but there are many, many treatment options out there. This is a very supportive forum, you and your wife will find much support and information here. Most of us seem to find a way of living with this disease…and some of us have been here, on these forums, for a very long time.
Very Best Wishes.
Hi Mat
Sorry to hear about your wife.
My great aunt (who will be 80 this year!) was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer April 08, she was told it had spread to her abdomen and right hip (matastasies?) and it was incureable. She had radiotherapy and then starting attending the hospice as a day patient to receive palliative care.
She saw her cons last November who said the cancer was stable and he discharged her, she still attends the hospice each week but she’s probably going to be discharged from there at Easter.
I’ve been very involved with her care and have had long meetings with her nurse at the Hospice and as I understand it, she still has cancer but because its now stable (there are no further masses, she hasnt got bladder problems, bleeding etc) she could live for years but they also say they cant fortell the future and it could flare up again?
She’s a very active 79 year old, she’s got more energy than me and in fact she’s going on a mediterranean cruise on her own in the next few weeks so as a family we are all feeling very positive at the moment!
I actually found the Hospice nurse explained it all to us in a much simpler way than the cons did so if you are unsure ask again?
Best wishes, take care
Muffatt x
Dear Mat
I am sorry to read that you and you wife are going through such a difficult time, please feel free to call our specialist nurses for more support and a ‘listening ear’, here you can talk about your concerns and worries. The line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.
The following link will take you to our publication about lung secondaries which you may find helpful to read;
breastcancercare.org.uk/upload/pdf/secondary_breast_cancer_in_the_lung_0.pdf
Take care
Lucy
Hi Mat,
so very sorry to hear your latest news, I wondered where you had gone and hoped all was well.
I was on capecitabine 2300mg twice a day for 2 years had really good shrinkage and for me it has been the easiest chemo to live my life around. I had terrible problems with my feet skin would rip off like a footprint and nasty blisters. Aloe vera was good for the blisters and e45 rubbed in each night by Ian. So that’s a job you can do and trust me it will be one of those things never to be under estimated. Sheer bliss Ian still does it even though my feet are bay soft! Plus as others have said the dose can be lowered.
You both need to chat to your oncologist re the terminal diagnoses. If you both want the truth they will give it. It is so hard to have those chats if you are not both like minded. I was not expected to live for a long time as my liver was full of clusters but it will be 5 years in May and some clusters are gone, new ones have appeared, others are shrinking and growing. They seem to have a mind of their own.
There are lots of us on this forum who are managing to live terminal/incurable cancer. It is such a horrible shock and not at all
easy to digest.
Take care of each other and if we can help we will.
Love Debsxxx
Hi Mat
I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis, and ultimately that you have had to come and join us on these forums.
I was DX with secondaries in Sept 2007. I have bone mets, and I had some good news last month, when I went for a full bone scan. My treatment (hormone therapy - Tamoxifen and Zoladex) is working - so well in fact, that my cancer has not grown or shrunk and has stayed exactly the same as my initial bone scan in September 2007…
Although my husband and I felt we were given a death sentence when I was first told of my terminal status, we now think of my cancer being controlled similar to his mum’s diabetes. It’s something that I will always have inside me, but it can be controlled.
Like others have said, speak to your oncologist. Your concerns and worries are understandable, and maybe if you have all the facts laid out in black and white, you can then start looking towards your future.
Just because we have had a terminal diagnosis, doesn’t mean we don’t have a future.
Many positive thoughts and virtual hugs
J x
Hi All,
We started on Vitamin D and Iodine supplements (In kelp tablets) and after a short time the shrinkage of tumours has been important in both lymph nodes and breast. Doc has no issues with taking these supplements and there is good evidence on the web re the efficacy of these supplements. This may explain why the Japanese has such a low rate of BC as they eat of lot of kelp and why incidence of BC is higher in low sunshine areas. Most of us are deficient in Vit D and Iodine. Will keep you posted on developments.
Best wishes to you all.