I was diagnosed with bc in the right breast last week. It’s also spread to at least one lymph node. Mastectomy is scheduled for three weeks.
I’m now absolutely convinced it’s spread to my liver. On and off over the past three years I’ve been able to feel a small mass under my right rib cage. Can’t feel it with hand, just a feeling that something’s there.
I’ve now found myself googling like mad and of course I’m now certain it’s liver cancer. ?
I’m putting a brave face on things in front of family but as soon as they turn their backs I’m getting info from dr google.
At my request, I’m waiting for a CT scan. I’ll be amazed if it doesn’t show any spread.
I’ve got myself into such a state of terror I just want to hide away.
Hi
Sending you a big hug, the waiting is just awful hopefully you will get the answers you need soon xxx I hope to find out my answers on Wednesday but each day is longer than the last it seems xx try to keep busy xx
hi feelthefear,
Sorry you find yourself here, these early days of diagnosis are always the worst
Do step away from google, it only makes the anxiety a lot worse, as the info is not specific to you & is often out of date. Your team will give you all the info you need & use this site or macmillan for info. We’ve all been there with’dr google’ & quite honestly it’s not helpful at this stage when the diagnosis has to be finalised & the treatment plan put in place.
do take care, it will now be dealt with
hugs
ann x
Thanks for the reply fee70 and I hope Wednesday works out well for you. Yes, you’re right the wait is awful. Think, think, think is all I seem to do. X
Thanks Ann.
I’m usually so rational, finding myself in a situation where I’m allowing my fear to override my common sense is awful. X
Hi newby, sorry to hear you have joined our very exclusive club. Firstly, follow everyone’s advice and DONOT google! If you do you will certainly find more aches, pains and lumps as your mind is in overdrive. I’ll bet you aren’t sleeping, either, which just makes it worse. You could get help from your GP , you know.
I think your dates are pretty impressive, and you seem to be moving at a fair old rate. You don’t say anything about the type of cancer, or the stage. Knowing a few facts made me feel more in control, and even though my Mr.Blobby was out of control I was told it was very treatable. He’s all gone now, and I’m moving into chemo next week. Have faith in your medical team as they only want the best for you. Just keep busy, meet friends, and stay off google! Sending a big hug. X
Hi Anniej.
Thanks for your reply. It’s helpful to be able to air my fears on this forum, rather than adding to my family’s worries.
I’ve got ductal bc. One lymph node was suspicious and biopsy confirmed cancer cells. The area affected over my breast seems to be about 10cm. ? And there are scattered calcium deposits. I’ve been told it’s primary cancer, but I’ve convinced myself it’s spread to the liver and that my number’s up. I’m 42 and was hoping I had a few years left yet. Half of the time I know I’m letting my fear run away with me and the rest of the time I’m crippled with panic. X
It is like grieving process, shock, denial, anger, fear, resignation,
The fear I feel is so agonising as we spend so long wiating for results, once we have them then plans can be made, but meanwhile fear the worst.
I just had lump removed and some nodes, wiating for results, very sore. Each procedure, test, scan is traumatic in and of itself.
And apart from here don’t feel prepared for them much at all.
I found looking online very scary and decided to be kind to myself focus on next step, look it up, ask questions.
Even on this site try to only read relevant sections and bear in mind those most affected come here, most of those who cured, doing well, not all here so some sections seem worrying.
I hope you find some way to ease the fear a little, distractions that get u through the day.
Thanks meri.
And that’s a good point about reading relevant sections. I found myself trawling through secondary this morning and I’m sure it didn’t help.
I hope everything goes well for you. X
Hi sorry that you feel how you do but as others have said when you get a treatment plan you will be able to make your choice and be in a better position.
I googled everything too soon before knowing what the plan was and scared myself silly. I couldn’t sleep and if I did I woke up at 3am and that was it for the night. Remove all electrical devices from bedside to stop you googling in the night.
After I was told my plan I just cried for the rest of the day. Relief because I was scared, relief because it could be treated, relief that I could grieve for my old life and move on with the new one.
One thing I know is that we are stronger than we think we are and this is just a test for us. Don’t give up and let Mr C win, be strong and fight for your family.
Best wishes
Heather
Thanks Heather.
I really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply to me. It’s snapped me out of the crazy terror I was in earlier today. I know I’ll feel that sense of relief you talk about once I’ve had my ct scan and can purely focus on gathering my troops to fight the bc. And yes, you’re right about electrical devices. I’ll be leaving my phone downstairs tonight instead of on the bedside table.
Angela. X
BTW I had right mastectomy 4 weeks ago so if you want to know anything about op and recovery then just ask.
My husband told me to look at my treatment plan in stages, 1 is op, 2 is chemo and 3 is rads. This meant I only researched (ok, googled like mad) each stage and only focused on that stage. Just about to start chemo this month and was told I don’t need rads so only chemo stage to go.
Let us all know how your CT scan goes and we will be here for you.
Hi raitchr.
I was wondering, did you have any lymph nodes removed also? How long was your hospital stay? And how are you baring up? Good luck with the chemo. I’ve been reading about fasting. I know I shouldn’t be at this stage. ? But it looks interesting. I’m an absolute wimp when it comes to being sick.
I had Mri which showed nodes looked clear and in op I had Sentnel node biopsy, the first 4 were removed and came back clear. They used the radioactive tracer pre op and blue dye in op to find them.
Mine was a day case but they only operate in afternoon and only see 2 ladies at my hospital a day. I went to theatre at 4pm, took a long time in recovery as reacted to blue dye so stayed in overnight, allowed home 11am. Was happy I stayed in as was looked after very well and checked every 30 mins until 2am, pain level was checked and given liquid morphine in the night once. I did pack an overnight bag on the off chance I had to stay in. Was able to get up in night to go to the toilet but had to drag a drip trolley with me as had 2 saline bags through the night. Due to my reaction to blue dye. Had my own room too.
I didn’t have a drain and there wasn’t a dressing so could see scar, I didn’t have reconstruction as that op was 6-8 hours. All I wanted was the cancer to be gone and to get home. If you have immediate recon then you are in hospital for 3 to 5 days.
Recovery at home was quick. I slept in a bed on my own to 10 nights, made a nest with loads of pillows to keep me from rolling on to op side. GP gave me tramadol tablets, one before bed and have slept well. I couldn’t wear bra for 3 week, got some cheap cami tops from Asda to wear under loose shirts and leggings. Got cheap elasticated bras from Peacocks as have a pocket for softie to go in.
Do exercises 3 times a day without fail. I did and physio discharged me on 3 week follow up appmt as so pleaded with progress. They gave me a 2nd set of exercises to do for 3 months. Have only just started driving again after 4 weeks, that was my choice, enjoyed my husband being taxi service for me as he works from home!
Re chemo they give you antisickness medication before chemo and you take it regularly at home after chemo, you are rarely sick. I think for me the tiredness will be worse.
My chemo will be FEC-T so 3 cycles of FEC then 3 cycles of T. My cancer was triple negative invasive ductal, stage 1 grade 3 2.4 cm no lymph or vascular involvement.
Sorry for the long message!
Heather
Thanks for this Heather. Knowing what to expect makes things a little less daunting. I’m not going for immediate recon. I’ve decided to have a double mastectomy as even though there’s no sign of cancer in the left boob I don’t ever want to go through this again. It would be great if you could let me know how you cope with the chemo. X
No one has mentioned psychological tests. However, the way Im looking at it is by having both removed I’m taking some control over cancer. I had twins so have plenty of excess stomach skin to make a couple of decent 34d’s. ?
The whole situation is just so awful. X
Thanks Liz.
My husband has just informed me that my consultant said I can have the healthy boob off, but not initially. They’ll remove it when I go in for reconstruction. I’m starting to think I wasn’t even present when I was given my diagnosis and treatment plan last week. My husband seems to know a lot more than me. ?
I didn’t hear much either at my appointments as I was so upset at being told it was cancer but took my husband and he could remember exactly what the Consultant said, usually he can’t remember anything on a day to day basis, typical man.
I now go to appointments with pen and notebook and write everything down, then they have to go really slow with explaining things so I can keep up.
I also wanted double mx straight away as I thought the other one was a ticking time bomb and wanted to remove as much risk of it coming back. I still want to get rid of the other one but have to wait. Thinking about doing both at same time, my recovery would have been longer and was pleased that I could at least use left hand, it would be difficult with both.
Heather
Yeah, with hindsight having the use of at least one arm while in recovery probably outweighs the need to have the healthy boob straight off. I have a disabled adult son so will need to be at least partially able to things. I do hope to have them both off and a new pair by the end of the year. Maybe for Christmas. ?Then a winter holiday to celebrate I think. Im feeling much more positive and in control today. X
Good to hear you are more positive today, I found it easier the more I shared my"news" with people, the easier it got.
H