Thank you everyone.
Just to add to the stress, the panic attacks have started today,so every symptom of that I’m imagining is to do with the results!
Couldn’t get a lungful of air, chest pain, back ache, throat seizing up, voice doesn’t sound like my own etc etc. It’s all subsided now which, the sensible part of my head is telling me, that it was all indeed a panic attack.
Love to you all
Hi Smithy,
The waiting is the worst part, I had severe panic attacks last year whilst waiting for results of my biopsies (5 days) and then MRI scan (a week) and pathology report (2 and a half weeks) and then waiting for a second operation. I found it helpful to get some books from the library about dealing with panic attacks. I can recommend lavender in the bath and chamomile tea (2 teabags to a mug of hot water)as well.
I did have severe backache after my second operation and was convinced it was spread, but I had a couple of back massages and that took the ache away.
Not being able to take a deep breath is horrible but it is harmless and a symptom of anxiety, as you say.
I found coming on here and getting support from others to be invaluable, don’t feel bad about panicking, it’s only natural, as is wanting to scream at all the people who tell you to be positive and that it’s going to be fine! (although in 9/10 cases they are right.)
Starflower xx
Thanks Starflower
I managed to calm down a bit last night and even managed to sleep through until 5.30am! The thing is as soon as I wake up and the current situation drip feeds back into my head, I can’t get a breath again and the ache and tightness starts. I’m sitting here typing this and it feels like I’ve a weight pressing down on my chest. I only have the irritating cough to clear my throat when I actually think about it.
The breast clinic felt like a production line, talked to the consultant and he didn’t fill me with inspiration. I know they have a lot of people to see but after reading posts of how others have been sympathetically dealt with it was a bit of a shock.
I feel such a wreck
hi smithy2104,
i aagain cannot calm down feel like i have just been dx again, as found out i wont get hormone therapy after my rads fininsh they sort of seem like a life insurance
my sister had excacyly the same 6 years ago but she had no nodes involve as i have 3 out of 20, she is looking great but i cannot help thinking i`m not her, i just cannot get rid of the sick feeling in my stomach having to force myself to eat as i now it is important, my chemo will start in about 10 days, not looking forwards to it but in away it is moving on, i nam going to get some camomile tea or maybe peppermint see how i get on, good look for your op
pauline hugs to you for you results tommorrow, will catch up, did go on your farm very nice, michael now wants to play on it
good luck to everyone on this invaluble web-site
Dear ladies
I just thought I’d pop in to say hi to all of you and to let you know that all these feelings and thoughts and worries are what I went through and I can so relate to what you are all saying. I was worried about spread, every little niggle had to be something bad. I had also had this worrying tickle/soreness in my throat which felt like a lump etc and all of these things were down to my brain making me think the worst. I also felt like I couldn’t take a deep enough breath. I couldn’t eat or sleep or in fact do anything much. I couldn’t even make a decision about what I wanted to do on an hourly basis. Luckily my sister happened to be around at that time (she lives up North) and she was an amazing support to me, together with the rest of my family and friends. They all propped me up and carried me along and were amazing.
I just wanted to let you all know that I so feel for you all and that what you’re all going through is horrible but is the way a lot of us feel during this horrible time. I remember thinking that I would never wish this horrible feeling on my worst enemy (not that I have any!)
Anyway be kind to yourselves ladies. Try and get out and go for walks. Let other people spoil and pamper you.
Lots of hugs to you all
Ruby xx
hi ruby
thanks for you kind comments, have you finished your treatment?
love julie
Dear julie
Yes I had quite extensive treatment including a year of herceptin which ended up being spread out over a year and a half due to a bit of a problem with my white blood count. I finished in November just gone although still to have reconstruction. I think you may also find you have good days and bad days, I remember being so determined to beat this but had a wobble every now and again with the ‘what if’ going through my mind. I have regular check ups still and in fact going for one today shortly.
Best wishes and love
Ruby xx
Meant to say too - I had 2 bad infections on my right lung (the cancer was in my right breast) within 3 months of surgery. I was convinced it must be lung mets, but (Touch wood) haven’t coughed for 6 months now, and chest X rays were clear. But I wouldn’t have believed at the time that it wasn’t spread.
Hope you are feeling better today xx
hi julie and smithy,
just reading your posts and feeling for you and wanted to remind you of how far you have come already… this thread started on 5th of may and today is the 21st… not only can you do this, you already have!
when things were bad for me i used to give myself i treat every day and promise myself that while it lasted i wouldn’t go there in my mind!!! for me it was nearly always food… but it could be an extended phone call to someone i enjoyed talking to or a walk in the sunshine or listening to my fav cd… but what it did was, it gave me 15 - 30 mins off the merry go round of thoughts in my mind.
well really only wanted you to know that i am still holding you in my thoughts and prayers and know you will get peace eventually because you are stronger than you think,
someone has already said it - be kind to yourselves, you are normal there isn’t one feeling you have that is wrong,
with love,
lenny
xxxx
thanks so much lenny
i am of to the wig place today to have a consultation,maybe it will make me feel better thanks
love julie x
enjoy the wig place… my fitting was a lot of fun i tried on loads just for the sake of it…
lenny
xxx
Julie, cant wait to see pics of you in your new wig, i will be joining you soon.
I have just listed my results under ’ can’t believe it! ’ I don’t want to keep repeating myself and boring you lovely ladies
luv to you all Pauline xxx
Hi everyone
I feel so guilty about this but I don’t think I could’ve got through the last 2 weeks without you all…
I went for the results today and it’s a benign fibroadenoma! I should be jumping up and down but I think it’s going to take a long time to convince myself it really is what the consultant said it is. He said they were worried about it due to my age and history but he kept showing me the result sheet with name and diagnosis on to try and get it through my head!
I’m having it taken out in a couple of weeks.
Thank you ALL, I’ll never forget your kindness, thoughts and help.
Jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Great news, Jackie! - and NO guilty feelings, absolutely no need for that!
Have a fab weekend, I’m sure it will sink in soon - enjoy!
Love
Lizzie XX
Thank you Lizzie, you are all SO nice on here, I don’t know what I’d have done without your kind words xx
All the very best to you
brilliant news jackie… i’m soooooo pleased for you- i’ll do the jumping up and down, don’t feel guilty none of us want someone else to have this… this is the result we all hoped for you, now do your bit believe and enjoy!
love,
lenny
xxx
thanks Lenny xxxx
Hi, I’m new to the forum and am also terrified! I have a lump in my left breast which my GP and breast consultant both thought to be a cyst. Had a mammogram, ultra-sound and biopsy yesterday. Apparently, according to the the ultra-sound, it’s not a cyst, as it’s a solid mass. It’s about 1cm in size, fairly mobile, smooth and hard (feels a bit like a hard baked-bean!). I don’t get my results back until 2nd June and I’m not coping well. My mother died of BC at 41. Every time I think about it I feel nauseous and keep crying!! It sounds like it could be a fibroadenoma, BUT they also did a fine-needle aspiration in my arm-pit, which I’m sure they wouldn’t have done if that’s what it is. However, the radiologist didn’t say that she saw anything in my armpit. ARRRGGGGHH. I’m driving myself insane with worry and keep trying to analyse what it must mean. I’m so sorry to go on, but you all sound so supportive and I’d be grateful of any words of comfort. xx
Hi Caro
I’m no expert but I’ve had the support of a lot of ladies on this website over the past 2/3 weeks and they are the BEST.
I’ve been through a similiar situation for the past few weeks, my mother died of bc so I too can understand the sheer panic you go through when it happens to you. Had the results today and it’a a benign fibroidenoma, needless to say it’s coming out next month!!
Like you, my visit to the breast clinic made me feel worse as they didn’t say much to me at all, in fact the consultant said today they were concerned because of my history (mum) and age (45,just!) He said if I was 20 years younger he wouldn’t have been so worried. The radiologist went well up into my armpit too which freaked me out!
He had to show me several times the result sheet with my name and result on to try and convince me it really was my results- still feels unreal.
Anyhow I’ve rambled, but please believe me you’ve come to the right place, I feel guilty about it being benign but the ladies on here are so supportive and were genuinely happy with how it’s turned out.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out right for you xxxxx
Caro - sorry to hear that you are going through this worry and hope it is good news…
Smithy - that is brilliant news…
Are they now going to get you in for annual mammograms now your family history has been flagged up to them…? (i went for them before i got my diagnosis last year…)
Smithy - i honestly think and always say to anyone posting on this section concerned that “they are wasting the clinics time” that i’m sure it must totally make their day on those occasions when they come to the end of clinic and have been able to send everyone home with good news…
Theresa