test results tomorrow...

and I am literally worried sick - not sleeping, stomach upset… can’t wait for it to all be over

The waiting is truly horrible, good luck, hope it’s good news for you xx

Hi I am in the same boat as you. I get my results in 2 hours and I am so so scared. Have taken a valium and trying to think positive but dreading what I am going to be told. Good luck and positive vibes coming your way xx

Thanks ladies - hope it’s good news for you Jayney xx

Good luck girlsxxx

Just wondering how you guys got on … maybe you posted somewhere else … ?

Hi y results were not good. Biopsy on lymph came up positive. Saw Oncologist who talked me through chem first for 6 months then surgery then rads and possible hormone treatment. Need ct scan on Tuesday but I am unahppy about having it. To be honest I am not coping with it at all well and just want the chemo. Don’t want to know if it has spread as I won’t cope with it. Can’t eat sleep or do anything at moment and am in complete shock. Nothing can stop me shaking and crying with absolute fear.

Dear Jayney

I’m so sorry you have had to join this club nobody wants to be a member of. I can understand your fears about your treatment. I think in most cases a CT scan is normal, although my hospital seems to be one of the few that don’t do one as a matter of course. The fact that you have hormone sensitive cancer is a good thing, as it adds in another layer of treatment that will continue for about 5 years (tablets) I will be having this now chemo is finished and I’m so glad I have that ‘back up’ so to speak. I’m assuming the chemo is to shrink the lump before surgery.
I know you are terrified right now, but when your treatment plan has begun you will feel more in control and be able to cope with the fact you are going through this.

A potted history of my cancer: Ductal invasive, 3cm (36mm) grade 3, stage 2b, lymph nodes affected. 100% ER positive and 70% PR positive. HER2 negative. Vascular invasion. Had Mx, then chemo. not having rads but will be on Anastrazole (aromatase inhibitor) for 5 year. I was told less than 20% chance of a recurrence in my chest but 50% chance in lymph nodes. But if that happens, I will have an axillary clearance.
Sending you big hugs and good wishes.
Poemsgalore xx

Thanks so much for the virtual hugs and good wishes - it really does help knowing people know how you are feeling. I seem to be getting aches and pains all over the place at the moment which terrifies me. Have had chest x ray done and assume all well as no-one has contacted me. jxxx

I second Poem’s post. The panic does subside a lot once you get started on a treatment plan. CT and bone scans are the norm if you have positive nodes for most people. And the vast majority are clear, but they do need to know, because the treatment plan can obviously be different depending on findings. And once you have had clear scans that will be one less thing to fret about. The aches and pains are SO common, I’m certain they are anxiety-induced!

Do you have a good support system, close friends/family that can help you through this? It can be a very lonely place, I know, because a lot of people will try to be upbeat and encouraging. I remember being speechless at some of the things friends said. (There is a thread about that somewhere). It used to feel like people were minimizing or invalidating your fears. We know here what it feels like though, so you can always come on here and rant, and know that somebody, at least, will totally “get it”.

People say what they say though, and are mostly well-meaning, or at worst misinformed or just plain not thinking straight, but you have to kind of just let it go. There are always going to better days and worse days. Sleep is important though, so you might discuss with your GP if you need more help with that.

Big hugs for now! xxx