I feel really fed up today and i really hate it cos actually i am so grateful to still be here 3 years from dx. But today feel down and can only put it down to the fact that on Monday it will be 3 years since dx. Also I have my mammo in less than 2 weeks and am petrified in case it has returned. I cant think of anything else accept that 3 years ago i didnt have a clue what was just around the corner. I cant think past the next 2 weeks in case i get bad news. Keep thinking i maybe going through it all again by spring. I know i should just think how lucky i am to be here 3 years on, but i cant talk to anyone, as everyone else thinks life is how it was 3 years ago, but its not is it? Its always in your head.
It’s true - it’s always at the back of your mind. I’m still on chemo, but I imagine when at your stage, the back of the mind thoughts become very much front of the mind thoughts as you approach check ups.
Have you got some nice things to do over the next few days?
We all understand, that life never goes back to how it was before -your peace of mind is taken away.
Keeping my fingers crossed you get good news in a fortnight.
Take care. Stella xx
Actually yes, as its the start of half term we are going away for a few days, but dont feel in the right frame of mind at the moment
Lolly, as soon as that bomb goes off in our lives, we are searching for the new “normal”, as the old one went up in smoke the moment the doc said, “I’m sorry, I have to tell you that your results show you have cancer.”
I think a lot of us have difficulties in first of all realising that we can’t have the old “normal” back, and then have more difficulties searching for the new one.
Someone posted a really good article by psychologist regarding feelings after cancer and it was really good. Anyone remember where it was posted? If someone can find it it would be really worth a read as it doesn’t try to dismiss the changes in outlook that we all have to go through. I’m just at the start of all of this and I have no idea how I’ll feel one year on from diagnosis let alone three, but I don’t belittle the strength of your feelings and concerns.
I am approaching 2 yrs and had my 2nd mammo last week. I had started to make plans about how we would cope with another diagnosis as i was certain it would be bad news BUT its clear so i breath a sigh of relief…for now
Life has changed and these anniversaries have to be endured but maybe, just maybe, i wont be as anxious next year. Step at a time.
XX
Here is the link
cancercounselling.org.uk/nor … &Count=500
It’s from the ‘Thought I would feel great thread’
Hope it helps and hope you are able to get some enjoyment from your few days away
Stella xx
the link isnt working?
Thanks, DG.
Here’s a link to the original one. There may be other useful articles on the main site.
cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResHarvey?OpenView&ExpandAll&Count=500