Had my Mastectomy and LD Flap mid November. Getting on well, I think, but some days I wake up with this big black cloud over my head, I feel Husband and Sons just can not imagine what I am going through.
Two days before I had my first op (I’ve had three) a sad song came on the radio and my Husband asked me why I was crying!!! Now I go out or in another room if I need a cry.
Friends are good to me but non of them can understand what this is like as non of them have had breast cancer.
The one person I know who has had breast cancer is my sister, who I know if finding it hard that her little sister has got it, so I put on the brave face for her too.
I’ve always been the one that can cope, and 99% of the I can, but some times just need to know someone out there knows what this is like.
On a bad day I have rung the Breast Care Helpline up and they where just great.
I am positive and happy with the way my treatment is going, but it would be nice to know I’m not the only one with these feelings?
I’m like u, I cope & just get on with it, I wish I had a £ for every time people have called me “brave” or said I have a “great attitude”!!!
Every once in a while tho you do have a little cry or just want to be left alone, it’s our way of coping with it, I sometimes feel I’m so busy looking after everyone else around me emotionally when I should really be being selfish & looking out for me…but that’s just not my way.
You sister probably doesn’t know what to say, she will be looking at you being all strong & think maybe u don’t need to talk. if you can maybe find a time when there’s just the two of u somewhere private, I think u should tell her how you feel. Give her the opportunity to help u if she’s up to it & be prepared to find that help elsewhere if she is unable to support you as much as u need.
Sorry that we haven’t responded to you earlier, but people on these forums are great and have all had similar but very different experiences. Are u part of a monthly treatment post? I think they get responded to quicker.
Sending u a big hug, don’t be afraid to feel vulnerable, we’ve all been there ??? Ro x
Hi Happy lady, I’m also very similar to you. I put on a brave face for everyone around me but sometimes inside I crumble, it’s fear of the unknown with me. Like you people around me use the words brave and inspiration however I’m just doing what any woman would do to kick this terrible disease into touch. I also have a older sister but she hasn’t had BC, rather me than her as she’s not as strong as me. My sister though does give me lots of support and is always there should I need to talk. I’m sure your older sister would want you to confide in her and it’s possible she’ll be able to give you the extra support which someone whose not been through BC can give you. I had a bilateral mx with immediate reconstruction in October 2013 and are just going through chemo which I finish in March, roll on spring. I then have rads and tamoxifen for 10 years.
It’s horrible when you’re used to being a happy go lucky confident person, this really does knock you for six. Don’t be hard on yourself, we’re allowed to cry and scream if we want to and believe me you can bet we all do it.
Sending you positive thoughts for 2014, it’s our year.