The Other Side
The Other Side Hi All - I just wanted to know if me or other men are allowed to join the other side.
It clearly states on the home page this message -
Breastcancer
Supporting women whose lives have been touched by breast cancer
cheers David W
There was a terrific argument about this, after which the heading was changed to exclude men. Sad.
New website for men Hi David
Just thought you might be interested in this: breasthealth.com.au/men/
It’s an Australian website for men with breast cancer.
check it out.
Amazonwoman
The other side I got involved in the debate about men coming on the other site and felt very sorry for the chap that sparked it off, who was actually only trying to help his non computer literate missus.
That was when the women only thing came into play - I know that a lot of us on there will already “know” you and there has been a lot of discussion on there about the locking of the thread and BCC’s reaction to it which you may find interesting.
You could always approach the moderator on there and see what the reaction is. I didn’t agree with the decision but it was felt that a lot of stuff gets discussed in a much more informal way than on here, that the contributors wouldn’t necessarliy want men to read.
All the best
LindaAnn
xxxx
The other site. I don’t belong to the other site but can fully understand how an informal site, which sounds as though it’s as much about the close friendship between women as it is about breast cancer, would feel more comfortable with women only.
It sounds very different to the BCC forums which quite rightly has a Men’s forum.
I think it would be very unfair to start to compare the two sites.
Thank You Just to confirm I will not be joining the Other site - just interested thats all.
Cheers David W
PS I will check out the Australian site - thanks again for the info.
Another site David - You could also go to breastcancer.org which has a forum for men with breast cancer. It looks a bit thin as they have just had a housekeeping exercise, but the site in general is full of excellent information.
I don’t agree there was a terrific argument on the other site about whether or not men should be welcomed. The word “argument” denotes aggression and there was none of that.
There was a discussion with a variety of views put forward. The moderators subsequently updated the Home Page to clarify that the forum was designed to support women - that’s all.
It just struck me - the “Other Side” is supposed to be where some people believe we end up after death!
The other site… Hi David,
I was disturbed to read your post and find that you and other males are excluded from the “other site”.
I have dipped into it to a a few occasions, but don’t like the “touchy, feely” postings. It seems like a small clique that very few of us are invited to join. I didn’t belong to a bc site until I was way through my chemo, and found the Breast Cancer Care site such an incredible support for information that I never got from my doctors. I hope you found that too, as there seems to be not much difference in treatments between males and females, if at all. You have certainly widened my knowledge of cancer in men, and for that, I thank you.
I don’t go to that site these days - it is not for me , although it may be for others. - but hope you continue to post on the Breast Cancer Care site. We all value your opinions and experience in dealing with a life threatening disease.
Take care,
Liz.
Responsibility is split Liz I found the BCC site shortly after I was dx and found it an absolute lifeline for info, support and also humour.
Thru all our dx and treatment, we may think there is nothing funny, but in actual fact we still need to laugh at life’s absurdities, it is a steam valve which we need to open in order to deal with our situation.
It is a shame that we had a certain element on these forums who were bent on causing trouble and the unfortunate fact is that they succeeded and the BCC moderators allowed them to succeed by their heavy handed approach to threads which contained good, honest debate.
The disruptive element needed to be dealt with but, unfortunately, from that time on, due to the unwillingness/unableness of BCC to respond to questions raised by members of the forums, the moderator attitude encouraged a feeling of being treated like a child who was incapable of understanding the root cause of the problems and how they were/were not being dealt with.
Unfortunately I saw this moderator attitude as PC correctness gone mad, as we seem to have in so many areas of our daily lives these days, and that is without a doubt why I no longer post as frequently as I used to on this site.
I will still try to assist and reassure when needed, but others do that much better than I can most of the time, however I no longer feel that I can have a laugh on this site about my situation and while I agree that BC is not a laughing matter , we all need our release valve to cope with this disease, sadly it no longer seems to be possible on this site.
Rgrds/Siggy
B
The other site Like Siggy, I found the BCC site an absolute lifeline when I was diagnosed with a recurence last autumn and shall always be grateful for the support and information I gained from it… However I too find that this site has changed since the upgrade. Although I still visit and post where I believe I can help, I tend to spend more time now on the “other site”, not because it is “touchy-feely” (which I don’t believe it is) but because it allows us to express all the things we feel about bc, including the humour and the anger.
I have found that the other site welcomes all who post and has greatly expanded since I first joined - the very opposite of a clique. Like LindaAnn I wan’t very happy at first about the decision to make it explicit that it is a site meant only for women, but since women are the overwhelming majority of bc patients, I now think that to have one site meant only for them doesn’t seem unreasonable.
Kathy
It is a fact that some women who have breast cancer prefer to give and receive support in a women only environment for reasons that JaneRA and I have discussed previously.
I think the opinion of users on the other site is very varied. Some like the female only environment , some would like men to be able to use the site, and some aren’t bothered either way, but the decision has been made that it is a forum for women and I think that should be respected.
Belinda rightly points out that the two sites should not be compared. BCC is a large charity and obliged to provide support to all people who’ve had breast cancer, as well as being accountable to supporters and fundraisers. The other site is run purely on a voluntary basis and is not supported by fundraising.
Some people will be happier to use this site, some will prefer the other site. I like both of them.
Message for Lizziecee Thank You
David W
Another message for lizziecee Thank you
Bill
Am I missing something??? Whats the other site?
Lisa x
Lisa You can find ‘the other site’ at
I feel Daphne’s and Kathy’s posts sum up what it’s about
Hi Lisa It also has a private messaging system which allows us to contact other members without having to reveal our email addresses.
Kathy
“It seems like a small clique that very few of us are invited to join.”
Just a bit puzzled at lizziec’s comment on the ‘other site’. If she is referring to www.phpbbserver.com/breastcancer then membership is not by invitation at all. It is a site for women with breast cancer to which anyone fitting that description is welcome to join. There is another site for ladies with Secondaries and I believe that one is by invitation only.
Dawnhc