the slow spread of anxiety

Hello to all the warrior women on this forum fighting breast cancer - i find myself reading the posts on this forum and cannot help but feel anxious about my situation…

 

I was diagnosed with invasive ductal grade 3 cancer small tumour ( 1.4 cm ) last week, i am going in for surgery on the 2nd dec to have the tumour removed. I am waiting to find out wether i am hormone receptive or not and i am having the Sentinel Lymph Node biopsy done during the surgery - going in the day before for the injections etc. So i dont really know much more about my cancer other than its small its invasive and im having it cut out in a weeks time

 

So why do i feel so bloody anxious - every tingle i thinks its spreading, im scared to do yoga for fear of helping it move around my body spreading - is it normal to feel like this? I am coming to terms with having cancer and have started to do positive things like meditate etc and my normal active mind feels ok most of the time.

But and there is this BUT i am so scared its spreading -  have stopped taking my pill through fear its helping it spread…it feels like a ticking time bomb. At my last appointment my nurse said go home have a glass of wine and relax - my immediate though was ’ doesn’t alcohol cuase some cancers? ’ I work in the addictions sector and know some cancers are caused by alsohol use…I feel slightly ridiculous, im a grown women - strong - independant - but i feel so scared of this thing that is actually so small but its in me and i dont want it there i want it out and i want it out now. I know im lucky its early and its small and i read some threads here on this site and i really feel the pain and anxiety some of these ladies are going through…and now i am rambling, i am at work and over thinking but do other women think like this?     

 

 

Hi Lupin1172

 

I think most women with BC are anxious about the spread of the disease. We wouldn’t be normal if we didn’t worry. I am 7 months down the line having had two lots of surgery and six rounds of chemotherapy under my belt to treat an invasive ductal grade 3 hormonal but small (1.2cm) cancer. My results came back as further breast tissue taken and 8 lymph nodes being clear of cancer. However I had chemo before the second surgery so will never know if there were cancer in my nodes or not. I am cancer-free now but there is that anxiety in my head that even though the nodes came back as clear that the cancer could have spread another way. I am just hoping that the chemo would have killed the cells that may have escaped and the 10 years of tamoxifen will be my insurance to keep it away forever.

 

I was like you at the beginning, terrified of eating anything unhealthy and didn’t drink alcohol for months as afraid that one sip of alcohol will cause the cancer to come back. I have calmed down a bit now and allow myself some treats. I drink wine at the weekends but in strict moderation. Have heard wine, red wine in particular, has good anti-cancer properties. Yoga is good for you so don’t give it up. It won’t cause the cancer to spread at all. As for pill, if the cancer is positive for hormones that is a good idea to stop taking it and consider taking non hormonal contraception instead.

 

I have felt anxious today about the future and not knowing if this time bomb in body will go off or not in the future. Then I remind myself that I have had belt and braces treatment which is designed to CURE me. The treatment you will be getting will be designed to CURE you. My advice is to take every treatment going to ensure that it won’t come back. Breast cancer is the most treatable form of the disease and the vast majority of women are cured and go onto live long and healthy lives. Just keep thinking that and hope for the best. That’s all we can do.

 

There is a FB page for women under 45 with BC. If you want to join, all you need to do is send a private message mentioning you have a BC diagnosis. The name of the page is Younger Breast Cancer Network. You will be able to chat to other women and no subject is off-limits. The group has been a lifesaver for me. Hope to see you on there.

 

Big hugs and hang on in there xxx

Hello Lupin,

 

I feel everything you’ve going through. I was diagnosed two weeks ago with small grade 3 tumour, biopsy showed some spread to lymphs so i am having surgery with node clearance on Monday. I can tell you that I feel much much calmer than I did two weeks ago, time does help mitigate the shock and blind terror, I promise. Treatment is so so good for breast cancer now, compared with just a few years ago. It is likely that we will get through this, a bit battle scarred, but we can hold on tight to the very high levels of skill and knowledge of our doctors and some mighty fine kick-arse drugs.

 

Sending you a big hug,

Jane. Xxxx

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Lupin- my situation v sim to you but a little further down the line. had mxt on wed plus SLNB - in the event 2 nodes removed, little further info until 2 weeks time. BUT I am v fit and making a good recovery - have had no need for any pain meds; meditation helps keep the scary thoughts at bay; lots of positives - see thread here. Stay calm and you will come through ok.

Hello lupin
Brave ladies on here,I have a cellular fibroadanoma/ benign phyllodes from pathology report,wide excision biopsy to be done ,I feel silly coming on here as everyone has different grades of cancer!When I went for last appointment which was four weeks ago they just gave me a leaflet on fibroadanoma with cellular written on and benign phyllodes leaflet,I have to go this Monday for pre op then appointment to remove lump,I have been in a terrible state with anxiety and panic and constantly worried when I get an ache or pain thinking it’s cancer how ridiculous is that?i have nobody to talk to and admire you ladies so much ,I shall be staying on here and talking and following you all,chatting has made me feel so much better! Shar xx

Hi Lupin

I was diagnosed grade 2/3 triple negative on October 9th and have been waiting for a plan since. Had sentinel nodes done and they are ok and finally having bilateral mastectomy next Friday. All I can say is that in the first week or two it was like living in a nightmare, I was ,ime a zombie and so so terrified, but I got so much support, common sense advice and inspiration from the ladies on this site.
I have been taking melatonin or zopiclone to sleep which my GP. prescribed and they have been incredibly helpful with getting me to sleep.
Now I am a few weeks in although not yet had treatment I am much much calmer and have taken great strength in the positive stories on here.

Like others , the first few weeks or so I was obsessed with diet, filtered water, no alcohol etc etc , went out and bought a juicer etc etc. it was hard work and I have calmed down a bit now. As we speak I am going to allow myslef a glass of red wine and I eat carbs on a Sunday ???
It is scary and the future is unknown but please be assured that things do settle from the initial diagnosis

Sam xxx

Hi Lupin

 

I am in a very similar situation to yourself.  I have been diagnosed with invasive ductal grade 3 cancer (1.9cm) and am having surgery on 5th December together with OSNA.  

 

I ache all over!! Pains in my armpits, hips (?), head, stomach etc.  There is not a part of my body that I do not think it is spreading to.  My only consolation is that when I am busy here at work, the aches and pains disappear and that makes me think that it is in my head. 

 

Fingers crossed for both of us!

 

Lynny

Hey Lupin and ladies, you’ve come to the right place to share your fears, ups and downs. I was told to stop taking the pill and alcohol as both feed oestrogen which feeds the cancer. Check with your nurse. I was put on hormone to stop oestrogen before surgery.

Lupin keep doing yoga, it’s great to lift your spirit and give you some much needed me time. My physio and surgeon couldn’t believe my range of movement within three weeks of surgery - put it down to the yoga.

Have a look at the thread “what not to say to a cancer patient” when you need an uplift - hilarious!

Sending hugs and more tea and biscuits
Dawn xx