The waiting is so difficult - any advice welcome

Hello - I am new to this site and wonder if anyone could help me along at the early stages of this frightening experience.

The waiting is horrendous and I am doing my best to stay positive but it is so difficult. I am waiting for results that I should get on Friday.

I was referred to the breast clinic last week and had a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. They told me they were very suspicious about a lump that showed up and were pretty sure it was invasive cancer. I have been like a rabbit caught in headlights since. The consultant said the position of the lump means it would be tricky to just remove the lump and suspects it will mean a mastectomy. It is just a horrible time…

Can anyone tell me what they would expect the next stage to be for me? Will they have a treatment plan for me do you think or will they do more tests? I know everyone is different but I would be really grateful to hear if you have had a similar experience or can just offer words of support.

I look forward to hearing from you… It’s a lonely place I’m in right now.

Hi Tam303
It is a very scarey place to be in - we’ve all (unfortunately) been there so do know exactly what you’re going through. The worst bit is the waiting and there’s no easy way to make you feel better during this time. The only thing that helped me was to keep busy but that’s not always possible and even then I found work and other people’s so called problems quite surreal when you have this hanging over you. If your results come back that you do have BC (and I really hope they don’t) most ladies on here say they felt better once they knew their treatment plan. It seems to give us all some type of control or at least an understanding of what was going to happen over the next few months. There is a lot of support on these forums so please use them once you know what your results are - again - I hope you don’t need them. With regards to what happens next if the biopsy gives a positive for bc you will then discuss with the oncologist/surgeon what treatment is applicable and what type of bc you have eg hormone positive/negative, herceptin +ve/-ve and what operation will be needed. There is a possibility they didn’t get a good sample and may need to repeat the test - I had this and that just dragged the whole diagnosis bit out for so long. The surgeon will discuss the operation and then the oncologist will cover the follow up treatment. You should also have a Breast Cancer Nurse (BCN) to help you with information and any questions you may have.
I hope this helps you but remember you are not alone and a site like this can help you with that - it also can be a bit scary in itself as you only come across BC ladies (and gents) on here so it can get out of proportion at times.
Take care and hope the results on Friday show it’s not BC

Hi Tam, sorry you found yourelf here, the waiting is THE WORST ! In fact it was even worse than the surgery for me and i’m the biggest wuss ever. I had a triple assessment and even before I got the results of the fine needle biopsy the same day the ultrasound guy told me that it looked very very suspicious, needle biopsies were inconclusive but only had to wait 2 days to get core biopsy result that confirmed I had cancer. Yup it’s surreal and feels like it is happening to someone else ,I knew practically nothing about breast cancer but am a lot more knowledgeable now, there are some good info leaflets on here for you to read but don’t scare yourself stupid with too much info as you don’t yet know what path you will be travelling down. Once I had a plan of action I felt a lot better so I was working towards a goal. As for me, I was lucky that only needed a lumpectomy had no spread , have not long finished radiotherapy and am on tamoxifen for the forseeable future, so have had a mad 6 months but here I am out the other end and thinking “did all that really happen…”

These forums have been a godsend as have provided lots of info and support and humour too, you will always find someone in same boat as you or who will try to help. Good luck, big hugs,keep busy and keep chatting , it does help to know that you are not alone and we are all here to help each other.

Sandra x

Hi Tam303, I’m sorry you are going through this. I was in a similar position to you recently, with a suspicious looking lump that the consultant thought might be invasive BC, and had to wait the unbearable wait for biopsy results, and you are absolutely right - the waiting is absolutely horrendous. Make sure you take someone with you on Friday when you get your results, as it can be difficult to concentrate on what the consultant is saying when you are so anxious, as is only natural. On the advice of a relative, I sought some sleeping tablets and tranquillisers from my GP, to tide me over this first ‘tail spin’ stage which is so frightening. Also, you probably won’t believe me, but I promise it’s true that once you know what your treatment is going to be, (that’s if indeed it is BC, it may not be) and get started on it, your outlook will change to become more positive as you begin to work your own way through this. In many ways, what you are going through now is the worst bit. I’m sure you don’t belive me but it’s true, and other people on this site would back me up. Try and keep busy and normal, but don’t overdo things. Let your body rest when you feel you aren’t coping.

In my case, the results of the biopsy showed my lump to be a grade 3 cancer (that’s a quicker growing one than grade 1 or 2) and from the biopsy they can also tell what kind of drug treatments it will be responsive to. I was booked in for surgery to remove the lump 2 weeks later, plus they took a sample of lymph nodes from under my arm during surgery to check if it had started to spread (again I think this is quite a usual procedure). Once the results of that came back (approx one week after surgery) I had to go back to discuss my treatment plan again, which for me involves chemotherapy at regular intervals for a few months followed by radiotherapy. I still have bad days and good days, but overall I’m fully confident that by the end of this year this will all be a memory, and I can get back on with my normal life.

Feel free to drop me a private message if you want to discuss what you are going through. I found this site invaluable, and I know that sometimes it’s hard to talk about specific things / fears with family members, and if you have children it can be hard knowing what / how much to tell them.
Good luck on Friday, and keep posting as we are thinking of you.
Scottiedog x

Hi Tam

This process is scary but Scottiedog is right. The waiting is worse than when you actually know what’s what. This forum has been so good for me, to know that all of us are in similar situations. There is always someone on the forums to offer kind advice or support, so that you don’t need to feel alone.
kind wishes

Thank you so much ladies. I cannot tell you how reasurring it is to hear from you all and hear your experiences. It really does help; not to feel so alone. I am hanging in there… Not long now until Friday. Has a week ever felt so long? I so hope I don’t have to wait for further results after Friday…

Thank you again x


I have had my results and diagnosis and they have confirmed it it BC. Grade 2, 6cm tumor so they are starting me on Chemo, prob next week and then I will need a mastectomy after that…

It feels awful but I am pleased to know what the plan of action is now.

Could anyone tell me where I can find a shopping lists of things to buy to get me through the chemo?


Tam xxx

Hi Tam

The following thread may help, it’s been a long running one which has helped lots of users:

Best wishes

Thanks ever so much Lucy,

Really helpful - just what I was looking for.

Tam x

Tam - sorry that the news was not what you wanted to hear…:frowning:


Thank you Theresa.

At least I can get on with treatments now. x

Hi Tam,
Just to let you know that im doing the chemo first also,im happier that way,seems to get things started quicker,just in case any of the buggers are thinkin of goin elsewhere! Good luck chick u will be fine

Hi Tam 303

Im not sure if they allow you to recommend reading material in here…but what the heck.

Im going into hospital tomorrow to have my op…Im worried sick.

Decided (against the surgeons wishes) to take a three day holiday in Islay (scottish island). It was great therapy !

Whilst there…I read a wee book called “cancer positive” by James Colthurst.

Its all about the positive…rather than the negative aspects of BC.

Try and get a copy…it’s eased my worrying a little bit.

We all need our worrying eased a wee bit

best of luck

Woodlark xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Tam

I was diagnosed on the 12th and now waiting for another set of results from an MRI done last Thursday.

Oh honey my heart goes out to you. The waiting is awful…I know.

I have only been on here a few times but I already know this is the best place to find a safety net.

Thinking of you, Lyn x

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to provide an update. My results in the end were pretty much as anticiapted that I have grade II tumour that is located where it makes a mastectomy unavoidable.

The tumour is in the region of 6cm but the good news (apparently) is that is is oestrogen positive and HER2 negative. I also had a CT scan of my lungs, liver and pelvis and a heart scan and they all came back normal. I’m waiting for the results of the MRI scan but my treatment plan is already underway.

My Chemo started yesterday and I am having 3 lots of Taxotere followed by 3 lots of FEC. I will then apparently have a break for about 4 - 6 weeks before I have a mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. Then another rest period to recover from the op and I will finish off with three weeks of radiotherapy.

It is a tough path to follow now but I do feel sooooo much better now I know this can be treated and I feel I can beat this. It could have been much worse. The waiting REALLY is the worst bit and I am so glad that is over.

For anyone else reading this who is in those early waiting days - dig deep, hang in there and take it each breathe at a time. It will get better once you know; that is for certain.

Take care everyone xxx

Dearest Tam,

I just read yr post and i want to wish you with
all my heart a very very good recovery, it will be over
before you know and you will be brand new :)))
And next summer maybe you can come and have fantastic
vacation time in Turkey with yr loved ones…

Hugs and prayers from Istanbul


Thank you so much Seda, that would certainly be something to look forward to.

Message for Woodlark too; I have the book you recommend winging its way to me so thank you for that recommendation.

Take care all