I went to a routine wellness check on Thursday. The doctor found a lump so on Saturday I went to the clinic. I was so sure it was going to be a cyst (Ive been there twice before over about 8 years with cysts). When the consultant examined me he said nothing had shown up on the mamogram and was pretty sure it was a cyst so sent me through for the ultra sound and advised me to say yes when they offered to aspirate the cyst. Only the ultra sound ruled out a cyst or merely lumpy tissue so they did a biopsy. Results come in on wednesday eve. consultant says he is 50/50 as to cancer or not.
I am 46 and have a 3 year old son - am lurching between ‘everything will be fine’, to ‘I dont want my son to grow up without his mummy’ and everything in between.
How do you distract yourself? Do I prepare for the worst? I feel so scared.
Oh how I feel for you as I have been there so many times before. The waiting believe me is the worse. If you’re anything like me your imagination goes into overdrive. There are many things that your lump could be so don’t go for the worse case scenario first. Even if it does turn out to be cancer at least it will have been caught and you can start on the road of dealing with it. My husband’s favourite saying is “cross that bridge when we come to it”. Not easy I know. When I was first diagnosed I had an 8 year old daughter and I didn’t think I would live to see her start senior school, but I did. Then the cancer came back and I didn’t think I would see her take her GCSE’s but I did. I also saw her take her A levels, have a gap year in Australia, start university & now she’s applying to do her PGCE & go into teaching. Please God I will be part of her life for a long long time more as I am now fit & healthy. So even if it is bad news it can be dealt with, just take some deep breaths and try and stay calm. One day at a time is enough for anyone to deal with whatever their circumstances. I wish you luck & will be thinking of you on Wednesday.
lbx157
your story really really helps…please keep in touch xx
Hi Badgersmum and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support you will continue to receive here please feel free to call our helpline, the lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 on 0808 800 6000 and our team are here to offer you further support and a listening ear at this difficult time for you
Take care
Lucy
Hi badgersmum,
It is a difficult time, your mind truly works overtime!!! Just try and keep yourself busy (I know easier said than done). Wed not too far away and hopefully you will have good news, will keep my fingers crossed, please let us know how you get on, take care and lots of hugs to you xx
Hi, oh I do feel for you, yes its the worse time in the world, learching from posative to negative, I know when I got my results I though it was world over, but 3 years on im here today ,loving every minute, sucking the bones out of life, still wobbly , but here, you will get through this, you will, and you dont know the results yet, wishing wednesday was over for you
sending you strenth x
Ibx 157, Lucy, katytc and Truffle shuffle…thank-you for beng there. I feel less alone and comforted by you. Xx
You’re welcome 
Let us know how you get on. x
Oh bless u, your post takes me back five months to when I was diagnosed and the fear and worry of waiting. That really is the worst part believe it or not. If it is bc then once u have a treatment plan everything becomes a bit clearer and u do deal with it. But hopefully it’ll be benign and u won’t have to go there. There’s nothing that’s going to make the next few days any easier as your mind will be imagining allsorts. Oh and dont google cos youll scare yourself, half of whats on there is rubbish. Stick to this site or macmillan and the helpline here are very good. Pls make sure u take someone with u to get your results as either way your head will be all over the place and u probably wont remember half the things they say. Wishing u all the luck in the world for weds, pls let us know how u get on, take care x
This time tomorrow I will know which side of 50/50 I’m on…
Fingers, toes & everything inbetween crossed for you. x
lbx157
Best of luck to you for tomorrow, please let us know how you get on, take care xx
I got diagnosis yesterday - grade 2 stage 1. seeing oncologist today, chemo to start before christmas. MRI scan mon, lymph gland op to check on tues. guess I’ll see you in the treatment forums?
How do you develop a positove mental attitude and be frightened?
Hello how are you doing?
I’m still waiting for my diagnosis got told on tuesday after mamm ultrasound and biopsy that it was cancer but would know the full extent next tuesday. I’ve got a 3 year old and 7 year old so all these awful thoughts going round in my head even though I know that I can survive this things its just awful hearing the c word.
I hope you are ok. I’ve got all these questions probably like you did and am still in shock. Hope you are ok and stay strong
Love fran xx
Dear Badgersmum and everyone else on this thread - Welcome to this forum and so sorry you find yourself on here but trust me, from someone who knows, you are in the right place to take this journey on. To be positive when frightened? You use the fear and turn it into positive energy to fight back and deal with what you have been told by your consultant and oncologist. I so understand you, this time last year I was where you are, so scared when I found the lump and then when they give that c word its the worst frightening thing, I turned my fear into strenght to fight and to get the support from my Other half, family and friends and the lovely ladies on here. There is always someone on this forum who can answer you, who has been where you are and can advise you. But remember the golden rule - No question is a silly question, and please make use of the Helpline here where you can speak to nurses to advise and comfort you. The waiting is always the worst part, I found that when i had the dx and the treatment plan I had something to foucs on and fight with. I wont say chemo is easy, its not, its doable and i read that so many times when i was dx but its true. Also please make use of the publications on here, this website is fab and covers every topic as do the threads that we all start and contribute to. Everthing from dx, to coping with side effects to emotional support, its all here for you.People told me I coped well, well i replied that i had no choice, I am on this road and tho I had bad days, i coped cos had no choice and i so feel for you right now. I had a lumpectomy in Jan, then FEC-T and radiotherapy. If i can be of any help to anyone please feel free to send me a private message. Sending hugs of strengh and understanding. Shar xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey badgersmum i’m sending you a massive cyber hug!
i first posted on here just a couple of weeks after being dx 17th nov, and found it really helped me when people responded with their support and advice who knew exactly what i was feeling - still am feeling!
being positive but frightened - my breast care nurse (BCN) told me that i would feel up one minute then down the next to start with - and that this was normal. but once you have a few days for things to sink in things will slowly start to get little better - especially when treatments plans have started to be put in place. i have found talking to my BCN really helpful. you will probably get one assigned to you during your treatment - make sure you do. they can answer any questions, discuss how you are feeling, anything you want to talk about. i have talked to helpline on this site a couple of times as well, one of the times it was bcn and she was really helpful as well - they are really nice and understand what you going through and have really good advice.
it sounds as if things are already getting in motion with your treatment with your appointments coming up. this was same with me, which surprised me as i felt everything was suddenly happening and i hadn’t time to take it all in, but its good because things are getting sorted out. if you have days where you are in between waiting for appointments of whatever which i had a few i took myself out of house went to a shopping centre, went on a train to another town centre shopping (shopping theme here) but seriously i just needed to get out after a fews days moping and not wanting to get out of bed, but once i made that effort to get out it got a bit better, not brilliant, but better. one day at time, thats what i am doing. i hope my waffling has helped!! i also found the publications on here very good my BCN gave me a few to start off with but there are loads on here covering everything.
keep us updated with progress and any questions just send us a message.
xx
Hi everyone,
I feel like I am over reacting, I had a lump under my left armpit some weeks ago, went to the doctors and it then slowly disappeared. When I went to the doctors she said she found my left breast very lumpy so she booked me into the breast clinic. On my visit I was told at the ultrasound it was just breast tissue but whilist examining me he found another lump where the doctor had not even found a lump initially. He was very quick to take a biopsy. He did not go into too much detail with me, as I was so suprised by this I did not really ask anything either. Can they tell by the ultrasound? Did he know but can not comment until they are sure with the biopsy results? Is there anyone who has had this experience?
Karen
Hi cooper1
Whilst you wait for the other user to reply with their experiences and advice if you would like some additional support please do give the BCC helpline a call on 0808 800 6000. Here you can talk through any questions you may have with a trained member of staff who will offer you emotional support as well as practical information. The lines are open today until 2pm and Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi cooper
Sometimes they can tell by the look on ultrasound but not always… But if the see anything solid like benign fibroadenomas they biopsy them as they an appear the same as a cancer or sometimes there is just something indeterminate and they need to find out what it is… We usually inform patients cat biopsy if it’s something we are concerned about but sometimes you just do not know till the results are back.
The waiting and worrying is the worst.
Take care
Lulu x
Hi Lulu
Thanks for your reply so quickly, I just want to know what I am dealing with for my children and my very worried partner. Will keep you updated it’s so great to know I can share my problem with other very strong women x