Hi! Just new to this website and never joined a forum before! I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on the 25th May 2011 and had the tumour removed on the 11th June via a wide local incision…still waiting for the the HEP2 results and to my future treatment! I find everything so complicated and just can’t seem to get my head round the treatments on offer! I am hoping my oncologist points me in the right direction! Is it just me or am I just slow to pick things up… At the moment I am very sore after the surgery and ever so tired! I find sleep at night time nearly impossible because I am so uncomfortable and wake up with panic attacks… Is it normal to feel like this? My lymph nodes were clear and the tumour was removed and that is a positive step forward so why am I not doing cartwheels across the living room like the rest of my family … I can’t see that far ahead yet! Perhaps because I am not looking forward to the weeks of radiotherapy or chemo and the drug treatments! I know I should be feeling positive but I aint …I feel nothing just numb and sore!!!
Hi there aramis
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I’m sure you’ll find lots of support and information here. Others will be along shortly I’m sure to share their experiences but in the meantime, I thought you might be interested in our resources pack for those newly diagnosed. It’s full of information which will help you understand your diagnosis and treatments.
It can be ordered via this link:
You are also most welcome to call our Helpline if you feel that speaking to someone would help.
They’re open weekdays 9-5 and Saturday 9-2. 0808 800 6000.
Kind regards.
Louise
Facilitator
hey aramis.
sorry you have had to join our club, but youll find loads of support and interesting info on here.
the waiting is the worse time hun, your prob still in shock at it all.
trust me, youll soon be looking back at this with all your treatment done. xxxx
hi, Welcome to the forum. The waiting is the worst time. Its bad enough when its waiting for the first set of results because at least then you are in full health. But when you are having to recover from surgery and still have the worry of the next set of results it understandable that it is bringing you down.
i was fortunate that on the day of my release the breast nurse gave me a long chat about the possible emotional changes i would go through between now and the results coming out and I tell you from the sound of it there is no normal way to feel.
My husband is being a poppet, looking after me and cancelling his golf and lunches to be here. But when i asked him if he was worried, he said ‘no, they did not have to take the nodes and i am assuming the next set of results will be good, I will worry after we get them if they are not’ How very male. Trouble is if I discuss possible future problems he gets this glazed look, so I have been coming on the helpline and expressing my concerns here instead. I would much rather do that than worry him.
From reading everyone elses posts it does seem that once your treatment plan is in place everything calms down and it is so much better mentally. Some treatment looks easier to cope with physically than others, but it all seems do-able.
Sleep–well there was not room on the BC ward after my op. I was told when i came round i would be told if the sential node was clear or not. The nurse did not have the right training so just kept saying–you will have to wait to see the doctor tomorrow. I thought if she could not tell me something aweful had happened and even though i was woozie with anasthetic i did not sleep all night. If things are going round and round in your head I can see that you are having this problem. If you look at the times of the posts on here you will see that quite a lot of them are done in the wee small hours when everybody else in the house is asleep.
Cartwheels-- well I am certainly too sore to consider doing a cartwheel, and only the pollyanna’s of this world can do cartwheels if they know they have treatment coming up.
And mental health can affect how quickly you heal so perhaps that is why you are still so sore.
What can you do to feel better?? well stop beating yourself up about it, its a rotton time and so much to deal with, and its normal to feel however you feel.
come on here and be as negative as you want, everybody is so supportive and remember what it was like before results and before treatment.
ring the helpline, lots of lots of people feel better having a sympathetic ear, and dont worry if it makes you cry, they are used to it, and you can hang up if you want and try later.
yes there are lots of treatment options and it is a lot to get your head round when the time talks to your onc. Depends what type of person you are. You might find its a relief just to put yourself in his hands and accept whatever he recommends, or you might be the sort that wants to know all the ins and outs before making a decision. whichever it is get him to write down the main points of what he said so that you can take it away with you. Then when your mind starts to go over it later you can come on here and ask people about their experiances and what they did to help them through it.
YoungAndFunky has given loads of good things, a couple extra I would add.
Get yourself a notebook and write down any questions you think of, as you think of them. Then you know you won’t forget what you wanted to ask, and once the question is written down you can stop worrying about it.
Try not to google indiscriminately, if you are looking for info. There’s a lot of scary stuff out there, much of it intending to part worried people from their money. Sites that are “safe” at this stage are this one, Macmillan, Cancer Research UK, that kind of thing.
And there is no single version of normal. What you’re doing is normal. Head in sand is normal. Calm and zen is normal. Cartwheels I DON’T think are normal!
Hi Aramis,
Sorry you’ve joined us here but well done for finding the lovely supportive ladies here, who can completely understand what you’re going through, and are here to lend an ear, support you and share with you.
I was dx Mid March, had mx end march, node clearance end April and started chemo end May - I didn’t find my way to this site until I was struggling with strange pains (mid may I think?) and didn’t know what it actually was and wish I had been on here since my dx - my white knuckle ride was totally hairy for first few weeks or so and I hung in there by my fingernails, head all over the place and totally ‘mashed in’. I was given so much info at the beginning, I didn’t couldn’t absorb it all and struggled mentally to look to the future, just got through day by day really…
You’re not slow to pick things up, as Poppy said, could be a bit of shock and too much info to absorb.
Not sleeping due to pain, speak to your BCN to make sure you’ve got all the pain pills to hand - for my first week I slept at 45 degree angle, propped up by 6 pillows, I also slept with a teddy on my chest to keep the weight of the duvet off the surgery area.
Cartwheels - I can appreciate your feelings on that, everyone was overjoyed for me that all scans came back clear, there was node involvement for me and I think subconsciously I just felt sheer dread of going down the chemo road and what that entailed so I couldn’t share their feelings of elation, but the chemo road hasn’t been as bad as my over-active mind had me believe and my younger sister had chemo for BC last summer and she coped fine, so I had an appreciation of what I was in for and it still didn’t help…
Feeling numb and sore, nothing else - it is difficult to remain positive all the time, we all have ups and downs to be sure - you could just be concentrating on dealing with the trauma your body has been through recently, this will get easier with time then you’ll have more info for the next part of your journey and can deal with that later. Everyone copes differently, but here there are those who are slightly ahead of you and can hopefully help and there will be others who are slightly behind you also.
Dip back in here if you feel the need, good luck with your recovery, take care of yourself and hope your journey goes well for you.
Bev x
Thanks everyone for your comments…Here’s me thinking I am the only one in the world with Breast Cancer (Should I say the only person I know with Breast Cancer!) Everyone around me is so positive and kind you feel guilty for not sharing their outlook! I am just relieved its alright to feel a bit down … and probably when the pain subsides and I get a few nights sleep I will feel a bit more like my old self! I should go to the dr’s and ask for something to ease the pain but I don’t want to waste his time and don’t want to be seen as a wimp! … I’m not usually a moan.
Aramis, there are NO PRIZES for martyrdom. Get yourself along and see what he/she can do, or better still, give your BCN a ring for advice. If the area is still a bit swollen, for example, it might be because you have a build-up of fluid that needs to be drained. She might invite you to go along so she can have a look and reassure you, or drain anything that needs to be drained. I have to say I’d get in contact with the BCN first, as the G in GP means General and they don’t have the day-to-day contact with BC that your breast care nurse does.
Get on the phone now and leave a message if they don’t answer.
i agree with choccie, ring. . . dont suffer in silence. .
xxxx
I never thought about the swelling being fluid retention … 1st thing Monday morning I will phone the BCN! Thanks for the advice … Its definatly getting more uncomfortable!
Just wanted to say thank you ladies for your advice…I took it! Spoke to my BCN yesterday morning and she advised me to go and see the Dr and tell him she thought I needed a course of antibiotics! Went along and got myself examined seemingly I have a lung infection and I did need antibiotics. I told him about the pain and he had a look at my scar and said he thought I had an infection brewing their too! So he gave me some stronger pain killers and last night was the first good nights sleep I have had since I was diagnosed…Here was me scared to go to the drs in case they thought I was an hypochondriac! The Dr was so nice and considerate I won’t go again for days in pain feeling sorry for myself!