Well yesterday it happened. A FB friend of mine who has been battling courageously with TNIB sadly passed away. I took to the cancer well-being group in work for support and found that one of the members has also been diagnosed stage 4 20 years after getting the all clear. As a result my mood just plummeted and I am now rock bottom in a pit of despair. Why do these things happen in Winter when I am already struggling with depression? (I have severe Seasonal Affective Disorder) As soon as the blues set in I start wishing I could retire and get on and do the things I want before it is too late. It seems as if everyone will get a recurrence sooner or later and I am filled with dread at ending up unfulfilled and dying in service just to get dispatched and forgotten. It is made worse by my having Asperger’s Syndrome and no family or close friends to turn to. I don’t believe in counseling or medication as to me it is just a smokescreen to mask the problems not cure them. I know what works and that is for me to get out in the day light walking not be stuck in a dark office and do the activities I enjoy preferably in a group but sadly there are none which take place in the evening or weekend. It looks like I am back in my catch 22 again 
Now there our Spice Girl, hold your horses! Not disagreeing with you, but things you can do to make Winter better maybe…nice candles, comfy throws, your favourite foods and a while ago some of us agreed that sticking on a favourite CD at full blast and having a mad sing along/dance around can help.
Sorry little help, but just wanted to say something. Hug from Wonks.