On Tuesday I was told I have Invasive Ductal Cancer, 2 spots. MRI next Wednesday to check for any connecting microscopic nasties. Kids (grown up) being amazing, friends and work lovely and supportive. Husband a nightmare. It’s as if I’m doing this deliberately to upset his life. He “can’t sleep. can’t eat, can’t get his head round it, feels tearful” and tells me this all the time Then last night after going with a friend to an amazing gig in Gateshead and a horrendous drive down a foggy A1,I got to within a mile of home, swerved to miss something on the road and smashed my car. no injuries to me at all (lucky or what?!). Police were fab (after I’d been zero breath-tested!), arranged vehicle recovery and took me home. Husband phoned this afternoon in a rage:“Good job I’ve had a few hours to calm down, you should never have gone, how could you be so stupid,etc, etc” When he got home I told him how hurtful his reaction was, I know he was worried but yelling did not help. Off he went to the pub, came back telling me he’d told his friends what had happened and every one of them had first asked how I was, and said what did it matter about the car, just a lump of metal and replaceable. I told him that was the reaction I would have hoped for from him and I think he got it, because he apologised. Anyone else had to deal with this sort of behaviour? I sometimes dread him coming home from work, he’s so grumpy and miserable, while I’m doing my best to be positive and strong.
Rosemaryanne, I am sad to say that I totally resonate with your post. I’m afraid that I have one of those OHs at home too ?? so glad youre ok after the crash. Keep your chin up. There are others in similar positions . We are all here for you xxx take care
Hi Rosemaryanne
Oh how I can relate to your post!
You stay strong and come on these forums to let off steam…there are many of us who understand all too well.
Glad you weren’t hurt and good luck for your results.
Keep ousting and get help and support from all the lovely ladies here who are in this journey with you.
Maggie x
Hi rosemary annie - ypu are amazing, very well done for keeping strong and not retreating indoors - but as others have said - good to let steam off here. It’s a pressure cooker of a journey.
Hello Rosemaryanne,
Not the best week, i’ll agree. I think it’s very funny how the people who love us react, some are brilliant, some are irritating, some make it all about them, and some just run away and pretend it’s not happening. But there will always be some people who get it just right. And us. We understand.
My cousin who was DX with fairly ‘bad’ ivasive BC (like there’s an okay kind!) 14 years ago at 36 is coming to see me today. I’ll bet she gets it right too. And by the way, she is absolutely fine and loving her life.
Big hug
Jane XX
All the luck and courage in the world go with you for tomorrow Maggie. I’m now 5 days post op- feel good, have had no need for any pain meds or sleeping tabs (big thanks to my surgeon), beginning to walk twice a day now albeit with trusty drain concealed under scarves. Taking it a day at a time. Greatly supported by the forum’s sense that we are journeying together.
WONDERFUL news Maggie. VERY pleased for you.Hope you have a celebration
Bc changes one’s perspectives - my mxt drain came out today and I felt euphoric!
Rosemaryanne - I’ve got a husband like that too. Had my surgery in September, just started chemo, he wondered if it’d be ok for him to have a knee op which involves being in hospital for a week them unable to drive for six weeks over Christmas while I hope with my post surgery infections, chemo, 2 kids and Christmas! Oncologist and surgeon put him in his place when he suggested delaying my life saving treatment for his sore knee!!
Other caring comments from him - shall I leave the ironing board out for you? Are you making bread today? And what’s for dinner?
Mmmm we need a school for husbands xx