I found a lump last week and today had the mamogram and ultrasound which led to a biopsy. I go next weed for the results but the consultant told me all about breast cancer and it’s highly likely I have it, they’re just waiting to see how extensive it is. It looks as though it’s not in my lymph nodes so I’m hanging on to that bit of good news. How the hell do I tell my family? My daughter is on holiday, went today and back in two weeks so I feel I can’t say anything yet as I don’t want her to be the last to know, so I plan to reveal all in a couple of weeks. I hate phoning people and am better face to face but my family, (4 children) are widespread so I don’t want to make 4 separate calls, then I have brothers and a sister who’ll need to know. My mum is 83 and has altsheimers, going daft and I don’t want to worry her as She’ll be more of a hinderance than a help. HELP. Advice welcome please. As you see my biggest worry at the moment is how do I tell people.
Hipchick, I completely understand your worry, that was one of the biggies for me at the beginning. First of all - take your time, there’s no rush to tell people. I needed a bit of time before I was ready to “go public”, and not telling people isn’t going to do anybody any harm. By all means tell those closest to you who will be able to offer support, but don’t feel pressured into telling the world. On top of that, once you’ve told someone you can’t UNtell them.
Two months after diagnosis I still haven’t told my dad and I’m actually not going to unless I have to. He’s a lovely chap and still has all his marbles but he does worry and as there’s nothing practical he can do, I would feel bad about worrying him (and yes, he’d be a bit hard work and I just don’t think I could cope with that at the moment.) I also haven’t told my sisters-in-law because they’re quite a way away and the same thing goes, they’d just be worrying without being able to do anything at all to help, which would make them feel bad.
So there’s no hurry. You haven’t had the results from your biopsy yet so there isn’t actually a lot you CAN tell people, and there is still the chance that the results could be good - I certainly hope that’s the case. Be kind to yourself between now and results day, and we’re here to support you through the horrible waiting time, which really is the pits.
Is there a partner or close friend you can share your worries with while waiting for the results? Having even ONE person knowing can be a big help, so if there is someone close you can tell, then you might find that very helpful, and you can ask them to be discreet until you’re ready to say something to others.
Forgot to say, you may find the helpline a BIG help, number at the top of the page, and the Publications section on this site too. Don’t do too much googling as there’s a lot of incorrect stuff “out there”, so stick to the first couple of sections in the Publications bit.
Good luck, and we’re here for you.
Thanks ChoccieMuffin. You’ve more or less expressed my own thoughts and it’s nice to have them confirmed. I’m glad I found this forum. I’ve a feeling I’ll be using it a lot. You’ve been a big help. x
Glad I could help, and DO phone the helpline, they’re really good at bouncing stuff off, and giving you some practical assistance on how to deal with the waiting.
Good luck
CM
x
Hi hipchick
Firstly, welcome to the forum, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support.
I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are always difficult when coming to terms with things and explaining your diagnosis to family and frineds.
I’ve given here the link to our Resource Pack which has been specifically designed for those people newly diagnosed. The pack includes information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available.
breastcancercare.org.uk/heal … tionId/82/
Also, as ChoccieMuffin has mentiond do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 9-2 Saturday.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator