This confidence thing!!!

girls, Finished treatment last May and have just had recon (LD) 9x wks ago. starting to get back to ‘normal’ - whatever that is. Thinking of having holiday Sept for a week - Greece. Didnt get abroad last year. I was very panicky and lost all my confidence during & after treatment but this has gradually improved ove the months. Am not having counselling any more but am worried that I am not going to feel ‘brave’ enough to go away and will ‘loose it!’ at the airport. does this make any sense to anyone? Do you think I should have bit more counselling with some tips for calming me down etc ?

vez xx

Vezza, I know exactly what you mean about the confidence thing! You’ve come a long way, good on ya girl! I’ve had chemo followed by a lumpectomy and I found out this week that since they didn’t get clear margins I’ve got to have a ******* mx, the op I was dreading. I’ve also got to have radiotherapy following the mx and I’m hoping to have a LD recon 6 months after rads. Are you pleased with your recon?
What you say makes sense to me. All the treatment knocks us for six and I guess we’re bound to feel anxious. If the counselling helped initially then it might be a good idea to go for some more. Throughout all of this I’ve found that it helps to talk and to voice your concerns.
Deep breath, try to pass on a smile. Hope you have a fantastic holiday if you do decide to go ahead and book one.
Liza XX

Vezza,

Is your GP sympathetic? If you can get him/her onside, they may be prepared to write a medical letter if you feel unable to go, so you can cancel under travel insurance? That way you can have your cake and eat it - go if you feel able, and if you don’t, you get most of your money back! (yes, I’m Scottish!). It would probably have to be something unrelated to bc in order to qualify.

Either that, or do a last minute deal once you know you have the strength to go.

All the best
Sue xx

Hello Vezza
I understand exactly what you mean about the loss of confidence. I was diagnosed Dec 2006 and had WLE, chemo, rads, Herceptin and now on Aromasin.
I’m single and very independent and have always loved travelling and holidaying alone, but once rads had finished last year and I was free to go away I felt very nervous about it. So the first holiday I went with a friend and that really helped. After that I went away by myself and felt a bit nervous but was fine. The excitement of going on holiday soon made me forget about being nervous. One practical problem for those of us travelling alone is lifting heavy bags, but I’ve now got used to asking people for help and found that they always seem happy to give me a hand.
Best wishes
Anthi x

My OH had me wrapped up in cotton wool when I was at my most ill due to me suffering terrible side effects from chemo for about 4 months and not being able to get out of bed. I then ended up in a hospital isolation room for a week. A few weeks later my OH had to go to London for family reasons (we’re in Scotland) and this meant being on my own for 5 days. It was really the best thing he could have done as I had to go out and do things like food shopping for myself and I made myself go for a walk every day, even though it was just round the block and back. On the Monday I managed to get a train and a bus to Edinburgh Airport on my own to meet up with OH coming back. I felt I had really achieved something.

Unfortunately, I went to a new job in January that didn’t work out and this affected my confidence again (although the consultants thinks it’s partly to do with menopause issues and not just BC - I suffered real distress at my complete loss of libido). I’m now having counselling via my clinic and I’m starting to get to grips with things again - I went self employed a few months back and now work with my OH and am studying. Don’t feel ready to take on the world yet, but I’m getting there and am grateful to my clinic for getting me the counselling as my GP said no way was I needing it.