this may help ....

or may not if you are not like me but i thought i would share …
i had bc in 2007 now out the other side if it all -just had a nasty scare but all seems fine this time
well… when i had bc i stayed inthe closet - the major advantage of this was avoiding all the stress caused by the questions that people ask . i am sure genuine concern but them asking you questions does not help. no way
i only told 4 people … one of those asked the really great question “so whats’s stopping you getting it in the other breast”
i am not a violent person but i have to admit she came close to a clonk
the other thing was the buses “anyone can get runover by one” incase you didnt’t know already …
the funny thing is we don’t have a bus service here and i miss them!!! so doubly insulting …
in my view the best thing to do is as follows
… tell almost noone you may have a problem
… don,t search the internet . it doesn’t tell you anything about your own case
… read the stories on this site and share with peopel onhere- far better as we are all in the same boat. anything is doable
… don’t let anyone ask you questions you don’t know answers to . it freaks you out and you don’t want a heart attack just now
… always remember - even if treatment might be scary … having no treatment is a lot more scary than that
good luck, thiink pleasant thoughts, my cats helped a lot, we are all different but if this has helped someone then it was worth writing

Bumping this into latest posts

A lady after my own heart…I am a v private person anyway so telling people I had BC filled me with horror…I only told people who needed telling…a few more than 4 but less than 10…a fantastic tip I can add if you are like me and don’t want anyone to know…if you have to have chemo…get a wig as close to your pre BC hairstyle…no one could tell the diferrence with me…in fact…a neighbour of my daughter…a lady I had known for years but obviously I hadn’t told…complemented my hair colour!!!..success…the stress of dx and subsequent treatment is enough for the strongest of us…for myself…I didn’t need anyone asking silly questions or crossing the street away from me…as one “friend” did…people only realised with me when I took off my wig…and my lovely choccy bob had gone to be replaced by a bit of fuzz…it was July last year and I was too hot…it was almost a year after dx before I could talk about my BC without crying…I didn’t need any “wisdom”…I just needed to be myself…excellent post Fiz…

we are all so different. I’m glad that worked for you Fizbix. Given the insensitivity you got from the few people you told, I can see why you limited the information!

I took the opposite route and told everyone. I have a high profile role and decided to be very open to avoid speculation. I used a website called CaringBridge to put updates on (to save the phone going all the time) and I got messages of support through that too. For me, I found the love that came my way was part of the coping/healing and it was amazing. My house looked like a florists for 3 months! In all that time, I only had two crass comments… the first was so outrageous I just laughed… the second was from a healthcare professional who ought to know better…

I absolutely agree about not “googling” and how fantastically useful this site is, and all the great people on it. I got some invaluable information/advice whilst going through the mill, and some laughter too… Brilliant.

Jane

Applestreet, you sound like me!

Thanks for the advice about wigs - I have been worrying a bit in case everyone could tell I was wearing one, but if no one noticed yours…was it an NHS one? I know they’re nothing like the old-type synthetic-looking ones which were all you could get at one time. I’m going to go for as near to my present hairstyle as possible and will hope for the best!

Annie x

I’m a bit like you GIJane. I haven’t hidden the fact that I have breast cancer. After all, it isn’t anything to be ashamed of. I haven’t had a single crass comment but I have had lots of support…and flowers!

I’m a moderator on another forum (not health/cancer related) and I have a blog in the moderator’s section (suggested by the admin) and I’ve found it incredibly helpful to write down my thoughts/feelings etc. I have had such a lot of support from the other moderators, some of whom had also suffered from cancer (only one that I already knew about)

Everyone’s different and it’s just a case of finding out what works for you.

I agree with not Googling, especially the American sites, though I wouldn’t have found this forum when I did if I hadn’t Googled lol

I agree with not Googling - but not for the reasons most give! When I first noticed my lump, I spent many an hour trawling the internet and managed to convince myself that it must be either a benign lump or fat necrosis! Sadly, my self-diagnosis proved to be false…

Annie x

Good advice about the wig Apple… Mine (NHS) was so good that when I went back to work wearing it (8 months later) and people said “haven’t seen you for ages” and i told them why, most of them said “you’re hair’s grown back really quckly” !!! I used to grin and offer to take it off (not that I would have), but it clearly was OK. Hope yours is Annie…