Hi
I would just like to firstly apologize for this rant but I’ve built this up for far too long!!!
I was diagnosed Sept 06 as the youngest man ever to be diagnosed with Breast cancer at 24 and almost 2 years on i am really struggling.
Even though i have great support of my beautiful girlfriend and my mum who is always there for me, it is the physical side which is driving me mad!!
I used to be a labourer by trade and i even took a computer course to learn new skills and got my qualification but surprise surprise it don’t mean nothing to employers!!
I also find that “so called” pals are only wanting to talk to me so they make there selves look good by associating with me because i had cancer! well F*&k them as i ain’t a charity case.
Also living in Essex i feel a little out casted as I’m a North London boy and i don’t care what anybody says there is a divide and different mentality all together.
The only one thing that does make me look on the bright side is that i could of been born a Spurs supporter and my suffering would have been for 26 years rather then 2!!!
AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
Thanks for reading i feel slightly better
Nicky xx
Hi Nicky
as i am the biggest spurs supporter i know what you mean about the divide coming from North London myself, Chin up stuff your mates you will be fine. Just out of interest who do you support hope not Arsenal
Hi Nicky - you sound like a great guy and I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What is your story? what treatment have you had? feel free to come on here and rant as much as you like - we all do. Sorry your not happy in Essex, I’m a true Essex girl - even got the name - but I don’t wear white stilletoes!!
Dont know anything about football, so can’t comment there!
Tracey xxx
Hi Nicky,
Its good to rant and this is one of the best places to have that rant, beats kicking the cat.
What you said about friends seems familiar, I was a person to be pitied if I listen to some of my so called friends. I was sick of being told how brave I was, do any of us have a bl***dy choice!.
I am glad you have a wonderful girl friend and mum, you have a bolt hole for some of the time.
I guess getting back into ‘swing of things’ will take a long time especially if you can’t settle into permanent and enjoyable employment.
I won’t try to ad any more because I guess you know how it is and the AAAAAGGGGHHH is the best medicine!
Take care
Carol
Hi Nicky,
No need to apologise, sometimes we all need to let off steam. Are you not able to be a labourer any more? Is that as a result of surgery? I’ve worked in IT for years and unfortunately a lot of companies just aren’t interested in newly-qualified people regardless of your level of qualification.
Why are you so sure that your “so-called” mates are only wanting to make themselves look good? Could it be possible that you are slightly depressed? I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer 3 times in 8 years - I’ve just finished 6 cycles of chemo followed by a double mastectomy and I’m quite willing to admit that I’m depressed. Maybe you should have a chat with your doctor?
You an Arsenal fan then? I follow Glasgow’s Blue team.
Hazel
Hi Nicky
If you feel it would help, please feel free to call our helpline for a chat with one of our trained helpliners. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
Kind regards
Lucy
Hi there,
I wonder if you would benefit from a little counselling? I’ve been having some sessions recently - I thought my confidence was fine post treatment then everything came crashing down and I’m having to get myself re-focused.
I laughed when you spoke about the N London/Essex thing - my OH is from E London (Hammers fan!) and when Eastenders came on TV back in 1985 my MiL claimed the characters were more like North London people lol! I am Scottish but lived in Essex for 20 years (Hornchurch/Upminster). Essex made me feel like a square peg in a round hole as I had nothing much in common with the people and was never made to feel as if I fitted in I’m afraid. Sad but true.
On the work front, don’t give up - my OH retrained in web design and development at the age of 45 and we now have a business. We are well aware we are 20 years older than many in this field but we are earning a living and paying the bills. We work from home so commuting means getting up and going to another room!
Try to keep your chin up and good luck!
hi Nicky,
Feeling any better today? i know what you mean about friends, mine have given me a wide birth since dx, every now and again they get in touch to tell me there latest “crisis” then say things like i shouldnt burden you with what your going through! inside i feel like screaming well dont then
dont worry about work something will turn up
Anna
Hi Nicky -
I am a Watford girl moved to Hampshire so do know what you mean about North /South divide. You have gone through a hell of time. I am a middle aged woman and found being dx with BC a shock so what it must be like for a young bloke like you I can only imagine.
Quite understand about work - I have just changed jobs as I got fed up with people labelling me as the woman who has cancer. I am going back to teaching a lot of employers are a bit wary. So far I have managed to pick some P/T slots and registered with and agency. I am working on the principle that I am going to have to prove myself and build up some new references. Have you thought about registering with a temp agency - Man Power are good. With your IT skills I am sure you will get work - this can lead to a permenant job. It worked for my daughter. Also try looking for admin with the Council - they are always keen to show they fill their equal ops quota.
Take care - use this site to let off steam, better than letting it all build up.
Jacqui
Hi Nick
a message for my lovely son, keep your chin up,something will turn up soon,and those friends that make you feel like that are not your friends.
No one deserves their luck to change like you but you have to hang in there a while longer!!! you have been through more in 2 years then most go through an entire lifetime.
keep smiling, love you loads
mum xxx
Hello Ladies
Thank you for your lovely comments its nice to know some people care!
I’m just finding it hard at the moment with things and just want one bit of luck I’m not a greedy man!
Also to the ladies that asked I’m a die hard Arsenal supporter and love the gooners with all me hart lol
i will be going there Saturday with my 2 brothers and pal so I’m looking forward to that at least.
Also im modelling for breast cancer care in october as one of the male models with 22 lovely woman aint i lucky lol
I hope things turn good before then
Nickyxxxx
hi Nicky,
Sorry to hear you have had to go through this S**T that BC throws at you.You do not need to apologise for wanting to RRRAAAAAA!!! I do it everyday! lol What work are you doing now? Maybe your mates do not know how to deal with the C thing, i know a few of my So called mates have been, even my partner which has really upset me (thats another story)
I was 26 when dx, in the 3rd year of my degree. Like you at our young age, we think we know where are going in life and what path we are walkingl… then BC disrupts everything. i am finding it EXTREMELY hard to get work in my area that I studied.
All i can say is i understand, people seem to think that when you finish treatment it is all ok1 No it’s BL***Y not.
You RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA as much as you need and want.
Your family sound brilliant, like mine too.
All the best mate.
Nxx