2016 I went through breast cancer 12 months of treatment now 2020 and it scares the daylights out of me is this normal?? 

Yes coming up to my second mammogram after surgery Jan 2019  and can feel the stress increasing doubt it ever goes fully away . 

I also had mine in 2016, and I’m in a sort of similar place.

When I had it, during the treatment, the year after that, I couldn’t read enough about breast cancer. I went through all the books in the library, memoirs, tips and tricks, this forum… Now, I simply can’t hear about it. Any mention of cancer (for example on TV) leaves me feeling nervous and anxious, and I really don’t understand why - it’s something I’m still working through…

I didn’t have the usual check-up this year due to covid (they only gave me a mammogram) and although that was back in May, I’m always wondering if the nurse would have found something on the treated side - I needed that support and confirmation…

I only came here to the forum today to complain about tamoxifen, they changed my brand again and now I’m just feeling really down.

Anyway, I think all these feelings are perfectly normal, but knowing that doesn’t really help in dealing with them

Hi ladies

I don’t really have anything to add than to say I think it’s “normal”.  I am not quite two years post diagnosis, and I have good and bad days.  But like ScarletBea I switch sides if there are cancer ads on TV, and feel I just can’t deal with that.  I even stopped coming here for a very long time, because I couldn’t even cope with that.  I am having a bit of a downer recently and feeling  anxious.  Where I live there is no ongoing support from BCNs, and I am completely in the hands of my GP, who isn’t really “open for business” at the moment, and I don’t really feel gets the emotional impact of BC at all.

So - no help from me, other than to say I am in a similar boat and it’s good to know I am not alone…

You might want to reach out to the charity Maggies. They’ve been so, so wonderful in terms of support, during and after. After my second diagnosis, I did a course called ‘Where Now?’ which was all about dealing with life after the medical side had stopped - a time when it’s so easy to feel adrift.

I believe they’re doing a lot of support online at the moment, worth a look.