Too much wine....

hi everyone, this is my first post but I have been reading everyone’s posts for a few weeks now. I was diagnosed at the end of Feb, and was doing absolutely fine…felt quite confident- provisional grade 2 only need Wle, radiotherapy and tamoxifen or equivalent for 5 years, so not too bad in the scheme of things. I am a nurse myself and am still at work full time. I have been mucked about with dates for surgery -  was given 29th March initially but as I have to have radioactive isotope injection at Bedford ( I’m Milton Keynes) they don’t work on a bank holiday, so have been waiting for them to find me another date…anyway got a date for next week now(24th) and it’s suddenly dawned on me what’s happening. I feel crap…panicky, headaches, not sleeping etc - I think when I had no date it was fine - head in sand - but now it’s hit me hard. I’ve got some beta blockers from go so hopefully they’ll help but I’m afraid I find solace in the old vino ( that’s why I could relate to blossoms posts - I’ve been following!) so hopefully I now feel I can join in conversations and not feel like a **bleep**!

Hi Louisa,

 

I was only diagnosed a few days ago. Most of the time I am kind of ok and still come across as happy and smiley to others, going about life as usual and then I remember my diagnosis and it hits me and I’ve had a couple of terrible headaches … What I’m struggling to get my head around is that I feel so healthy at the moment that it is difficult to believe that I have something so serious wrong and need surgery. Take care X

Hi Louisa, sorry you’ve also had to join the club. I think you will find many of us find solace in the old vino! I’m Sarah, 42, diagnosed in Jan. Mine was also provisional grade 2, upped to 3 on pathology, but stage 2. Had 2 out of 24 lymph nodes with traces so it’s chemo (starts 6th April) radio and tamoxifen for me. I worked up to surgery and in now part time but can’t work in a school on chemo too many germs, panicky, headaches, sleepless nights all normal, if it helps most of us have felt and some days still feel same. Try to be kind to yourself, have you got lots of support around? Love Sarah xx

I am on wine at the moment albeit a bottle has lasted me 3 days as I have it with soda. Hi new ladies sorry you have had to join us. I fine it strange that we feel and look well but have been diagnosed. I was diagnosed 1st Feb with grade 3 IDC had lumpectomy and SNB 22nd Feb but didn’t get clear margins and trace in 1/3 nodes so mastecomy and fill node clearance 30th March. I am also HER2 so chemo and radiotherapy to follow. I am back at work till surgery part 2 and am ok at moment. I am eating and sleeping ok but still have my down days. There is great support on here. X

Louisa I drank my body weight in vino and Gin to get me through diagnosis and treatment so please don’t worry ,it was the only time I could relax and my heart returned to its normal place for a few hours! I was also on Diazipam , That was a year ago and although I still enjoy a glass or 3 life has returned to pretty much normal now, do what you need to do to get through would be my advice, I can tell you the op was fine, I had a lumpectomy and 2 nodes removed and was home within a few hours of coming round and although I was a little tender there was no real pain and felt fine within a week or so, it’s not as bad as you will be imagining I promise you, it was all so much harder mentally than physically I found, keep drinking your vino and try not to worry too much, it’s does get easier Xx jo 

Thanks everyone- my bleep word wasn’t rude - not sure why it’s been bleeped! Anyway, lying in bed now and just hoping I’ll get some sleep tonight - that’s the worst thing I’ve found, although outwardly I feel fine…inside I’m churning and am really finding it hard to sleep…

Louisa,  a big wave to a fellow  nurse it is a curse I can tell you as we always question  and know to much!  There is never enough vino or monsieur smirnoff  at times  lol. I was diagnosed begining of feb and am 3 weeks post  wle,  mammoplasty  and snb. I work full time in a very demanding  role  (despite a right faff numerous biopsies up to the point of surgery ) I am on the other side of surgery  awaiting final results and have hit crash and burn after being  very brave for quiet a while.  Things change when it’s you,  your expieriences  are amplified and you worry  3 times as much.  My GP has prescribed  diazepam at this point which makes me feel a right  ejjit but I can’t contain the anxiety at the moment. 

 

Be kind  and don’t expect  to much from you self xxxx

 

hi Louisa, like you I’m a nurse with same diagnosis as you - a month earlier. I found the worst part was going through all the initial investigations & procedures & awaiting results - especially the MRI. When the surgery day arrived, I felt so relieved as it was going ahead as planned, with the provisional diagnosis confirmed, that I relaxed & almost enjoyed the experience!  So it’s not surprising with date changes you are feeling the way you do. BTW, my surgeon was quite happy with the wine coping mechanism  :)   Now feeling totally fit & well & waiting for the oncologist for radiotherapy.

Thanks for all the replies - last two days of work to get through, then a bit of ‘me’ time before the big push (I’ll probably end up decorating…that pot of paint has been staring at me for far too long!)