Treatment ended but still struggling

I ended treatment Tuesday. I’m decomposing. I just went through the motions of treatment. I did not really grieve that I was diagnosed. I just did it. Does this ring a bell with anyone? I’m signed up for the Moving Forward class and Can’t wait. I m safe-very supportive husband. I feel a little bitter now. Does anyone else feel the same after treatment? Nobody understands unless you have been through it.


I started counseling Friday. I’m so glad I made the move. I need a safe space to unload my feelings. My family was so good to me-I almost feel bad telling them Im struggling. They put a lot into me. Doc visits-treatment-I was alone very infrequently. I put on a happy face-we celebrated my last radiation treatment. Luckily-my husband is good. He listens to me—does not get it-but listens. We have an autistic son. I felt compelled tell him everything-all the planning-disabled housing application-SS info. I also talked to my typical son-made him promise he would always keep an eye on him after we are gone. Very very emotional. But I eventually had to have these conversations. But it wasn’t easy


I’m lucky in a way. I’m 60 and married for 40 years. It’s awful to say-we are very comfortable with our appearance. He is5 years older than I am. He is bald and gray. !! Kinda funny when I think about it/he has never had cancer! We have the same hair style. Gotta find some humor.


I too find that I haven’t really grieved the bc diagnosis, it’s been over a year since I found the lump and was diagnosed. Nearly a year since my surgery.

I had some telephone counselling via work but didn’t really get with the counsellor, it tried to organise some with a local (ish) cancer charity which offered some at really short notice that I wasn’t able to accept due to holiday and hospital appointments. I’ve now organised some more through work but with a local counselling firm that I can do face to face, hoping it is better than before.

I have a Moving Forward course booked for July and also hoping that helps. I still in treatment with Herceptin until September aswell as Letrozole and Zolendronic acid. The Moving Forward course only counts radiotherapy and chemotherapy as active for joining the course.

First counselling this week, so fingers crossed I get the deal with my feelings more. My husband nd grown up kids are really supportive but it’s not easy to share everything as they have watched me go through so much over the last year.

This forum is great for sharing and reading others experiences so as not to feel alone.



@naughty_boob do let us know how counselling goes. I suspect I need it too, but am very resistant in case I don’t like what it unearths.


I begin moving forward to day-will keep you both in circle


Hi loulou,
I’m very happy to hear you started counselling. I too had my first session last week through McMillan/Bupa. It’s a real shame they’re only 4 sessions.
In terms of feeling guilty, I can understand how you feel. My husband has been very supportive, had gone to every appointment with me, my sisters and sister in laws message me to see how I am. My sister in laws would message me before every chemo session just to say how proud they are of me; I still used to get very annoyed with them (intrusive in laws :sob:). I do sometimes feel like I’m pushing people away, but it is normal to want to speak to someone without judgement and I would not feel guilty about it. Like my counsellor said to me last week, this is a form of trauma that we have faced and it is normal to feel like this.
I really hope the sessions are helpful for you xx

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I do hope it helps you. I found there are quite a few women around me who are having similar breast cancer treatment to me so it made me feel a lot less isolated. I am now part of a WhatsApp group for women near me.

They also had an oncologist fo one session who explained why people can get a new breast cancer 20 years later like I did. It’s basically bad luck and in my case likely to be an entirely different kind of breast cancer unrelated to my first kind. Breast cancer rates double every ten years so 20 years on my risk of getting it is greater than before. It never reaches 100%.



Good luck with your group

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If you go direct to MacMillan , it’s 6 with possible extension to 12 . I had my treatment with BUPA but I went direct to Macmillan for counselling .

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