Trying to keep calm

I found a hard lump in my left breast on Friday on my way down to Cornwall for the weekend. Now I’m waiting for 8.30am when I can ring the GP to be seen. I’ve been reading your posts all weekend and have finally taken the plunge despite wondering if doing so is just tempting fate. Although I read that most lumps are benign, my mum died 10 years after battling with breast cancer and part of me thinks that I’ve just been waiting for it to happen. My OH thinks I’ll be fine but he just doesn’t want me to worry even though we all know that doesn’t work. I’m also an expert worrier. I have so many questions. Should I go back to work today after the appointment. I only have 13 weeks sick pay so shouldn’t fritter it away. I’m due to go to Tenerife with my dad in 3 weeks time, will my insurance cover if I can’t make it? I’m the main earner in the family, how will I maintain the mortgage. I hate needles and hospitals, and don’t want to get an infection if I have to stay there. That’s enough for now. Too many questions and no answers yet. Need to get ready for my phone call now. Good luck to anyone else needing to be brave today x

Hi Emmard

Welcome to the forums, I am sure your fellow users will be along with support and in addition you may find it helpful to call our helpline where you can talk things over with one of our team. The lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 on 0808 800 6000

Take care

Hi Emmard
So sorry to hear you’re going through this worry. I remember being in the same position as you in 2007 and just being so scared and worried. In terms of taking time off work, I know right now your head is all over the place so it’s hard to think straight and rationally however if you need to take today off, then maybe it’s for the best. I took the day off after I visited the doctor with my lump and then went to work the next day. Wishing you all the best of luck for your appointment this morning. Please do let me know how you get on.
Ruby xx

Hi emmard
I can’t offer much advice Im afraid s i as in a similar situation as you. I went doctors Fri with a jump and she refereed me straight the way, which was a complete shock as I though she would send me home!
I am literally still reeling from it all, and i haven’t been diagnosed yet!
I am a worrier too, and not sure how i am going to cope with it all, though Im hoping i will fine my inner strength from somewhere!
Bit of a useless post, but just wanted to offer some support. I have sorted one or two times on here and not really had any response, so wanted to reply to you.
Good luck with your appointment x

Thanks, will be heading up to the surgery for 11.30. Phoned work who were fine but keep getting voicemails from people about work stuff which I can’t bring myself to return. It’s going to be hard to play this waiting game, me thinks! Appreciate the support on here, I think it’s a fantastic network xx

Thanks Mrs Sparkle and so sorry you’re in the same boat, it sucks! Will keep posted x

Hi Mrs Sparkle and Emmard,
I just wanted to post and let you know about my recent experiences. I found a lump in my right breast about a month ago, went to my G.P and was sent away and told to return a couple of weeks later if the lump was still there. Anyway I did this and was referred to the breast clinic there I had an ultrasound and a core biopsy got the results my ultrasound report was suspicious but the biopsy was benign breast tissue my breast surgeon wasn’t convinced with the biopsy result and so he wanted to remove the lump to test it further. I had the lump removed on Friday and am now waiting for the results. Sorry to ramble but I just wanted to let you both know that I didn’t find the breast clinic or surgery as scary as I first thought it would be. The waiting for results and appointments is definately the worst part of this whole experience. I won’t say don’t worry because I know this is impossible. Whatever happens you will find the inner strength to cope with whatever is thrown at you. Reading the inspiring stories thread on here really helped me because if your anything like me the first thought in your head when you found the lump is breast cancer and I’m sure this is natural I always like to prepare myself for the worst. Good luck to both of you I hope you get good results.
Melissa xxx

Ah Thankyou Melissa.
It sounds morbid, but i am totally convinced i have got it already.
It sounds weird, but i feel more comfortable with that, than telling myself all will be ok, because what if its not. . .
My husband just keeps saying don’t worry until we know, but i just have a bad feeling.
Totally pessimistic i know, or is it just realistic, Im not sure.
I hope your results are ok, the fact that the biospy results was good is encouraging, yet like you say, impossible not to worry isn’t it.
I hope you don’t mind me asking Melissa, but are you 27yrs old?
I feet totally isolated, as don’t know anyone my age who has been through this, everyone is like 'oh my friends mumGran has had that,so feel like no one is taking my fears seriously. Sorry for the rant, i just feel i have no one else to vent to atm x x

Hi Hun, I’m 28 now but was 27 when I first joined. It is definately impossible not to worry. I think it’s the only way I got my head round what was happening was to presume the worst. My cousin died of bc when she was 29 and my other cousin had ovarian cancer at 31 but thankfully now she is in remission. So my family history adds the extra worry. I think this site is definately the best place to rant and vent your feelings because all the people on here are so lovely and supportive, I found their knowledge and complete kindness inspiring as they all seem to cope so well. When is your app? Xx

Hi ladies

I have put for you below links to a couple of BCC’s publicatioms you may find helpful while you are waiting for appointments

Take care,
Jo Facilitator

Just back from GP and she seemed to find what she described as a chain of lumps which because they were hard is a worry. I’ve missed the clinic at Weston today so it may be one week or two before I’m seen. It’s a one stop clinic so I’ll know on the dayi’m told. OH surprised me by coming to the GP with me. I just didn’t think he would but I’m pleased he did, really chuffed. Called my boss and am going back in tomorrow. I just don’t see how I can do my job though without the ability to plan. I know that sounds dramatic but I think that’s going to be a struggle. Like you mrs Sparkle, i already think i’ve got it and it and just want to get on with fighting it. Not sure how I’ll cope with the next few weeks but with my hubby and 2 cocker spaniels, I’ve got to! I’m 41 btw.
Thanks for the links, will have a read of them this afternoon.

My appointment hasn’t come through yet. I only went doctors Friday, so i guess it will be another week or so until it comes through, as we have had weekend and that haven’t we.
I haven’t got any immediate family b.c, but lost my auntie to lung cancer last year, and she was really healthy and fit, its just so scary :frowning:
How did you get on at doctors Emma?
What’s the next step for you Melissa? x x

I’m just waiting for the results of the lump I had removed I should find out this week sometime hopefully. I presume it will be taken from there then I’m hoping it will be benign as well like the core biopsy was. But you just never know do you? Xx

Did you doctor give you any idea what she thought Emma? I hate this waiting!!
I was surprised with my doctor, thought she would give some sort of idea, but she just said she would refer me, i thought she would of at least said she didn’t think it would be, but them i guess they can’t say anything incase they are wrong and get sued or something.
Wishing you lots of luck and support for your results Melissa, please let us know how you get on.
Going to treat myself to a big chunk of chocolate now, if i can get rid of the lump that seems to have lodged itself in my throat long enough to eat it x x

She said that because the lumps were hard that they would need further investigation and that my left breast was significantly ‘different’ to my ‘good’ one. All that means nothing to me and reading about results here, only proper tests can be conclusive. The worst thing was knowing the clinic runs on a Monday so there’s definitely a week’s wait if not longer. I’ve got private healthcare but my GP was adamant that at this stage, NHS was better and faster. Has anyone else got any experience of private health care?
I just managed a chocolate biscuit from my hubbie’s stash (I’m on a diet) and it was lovely :o)
Good luck too Melissa x

Hi Emmard, I had Private Medicare Insurance through work and was told I wouldn’t get seen any sooner than on NHS or have better care.

Hi, maybe you could phone them and see what they say. I couldn’t say from personal experience but they may be able to get you a quicker appointment say if they have a cancellation or something xx

Thanks Turquoise, that seems to be the general consensus. Also the helpline here suggested that it may cause problems if I choose to get back into the NHS route. I’m just mega impatient and want to move faster!!

Just had a call and my hospital appointment is 3.30 on the 12th. Feel a bit sick now I know. I was really hoping they could see me this week to reduce the anxiety of the wait but hey, at least things will be a little clearer this time next week.

Just thought I would comments re the private versus NHS bit of this thread. I was living in Dublin when I was diagnosed and did all that through the Irish NHS which works along the same lines and timeframe as the UK.

I came back to London to have my treatment and have had all that private through my work health insurance. I don’t think there is much difference, but for me it was that I had chemo every 2 weeks, not 3 as is standard NHS, so my course of 8 took 16 weeks instead of 24. I was able to have a portacath inserted which I know is not always standard on NHS, I also had the most expensive and strongest anti-sickness tablets which again you can get on the NHS but not always standard.

I also had MRI scans regularly throughout my treatment which I am not sure all NHS hospitals do, and when I had my first annual check-up as well as a mammogram I had an ultrasound and MRI to show up in more detail. Plus now I am back at work full time any check up appointments I can do at my convenience at short notice to work around working etc.

I would recommend keeping an open mind unless or until you know exactly what is wrong. If it is the worst case scenario then you can talk through your treatment plan and explore both NHS and private options, but like others have said in terms of diagnosing both are as quick as each other.

Take care