Hello everyone - my consultant called y’day to confirm the biopsy results are cancerous. Now I and hubby need to keep it together until Tuesday when next app to discuss detailed results and treatment plan - any tips how to get through the weekend?
I’ve decided not to tell my girls (4yr & 1yr old), rest of the family or friends until we know more on Tuesday although I’m likely to have an op by end of next week too. Just can’t face the questions when I don’t have any answers and don’t want to ruin everyone’s weekend too thanks x
Hi Herewego and welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you will find lots of support to help your through this difficult time
In addition, our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support on 0808 800 6000 and lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays so please feel free to call and share your concerns with someone in confidence
Hi xxx the waiting feels a lifetime … I have had many tests during December and in one of my low waiting days went to the cinema to watch hobbits slay orcs! The escapism took me away for a few hours at least …so if u are not too tired x stay busy play with your children long baths and try (impossibly) not to think about it x post like crazy here if it helps - xxx we are all with you 100% - also stay off google !!! Sarah
Big virtual hugs to you. Its an awful shock and you will have up and down days which I am sure you are having already. My advise is to try and keep yourself occupied (I guess that wont be too hard with a 1 & 4 year old :-). I have spent alot of time with my daughter and grandson as they take my mind of things for a short while, also having my daughter she will remind me of all the positives whilst I am fixated on the negatives!! Very difficult to find positives at this time but one of them is…we are about to get rid of this!!!
I found the second meeting much better in that we had time to think about the 101 questions we wanted answering. My daughter came with me armed with a book “keep calm and carry on”, I wrote all the questions I wanted to ask in this book, and the surgeon/breast care nurses were fantastic and answered them all honestly even though I wasnt taking them in at that time. My daughter wrote down everything and we spoke more in depth when we left. I left there feeling alot better then I did on the day I received the news. It is a tough time and you do need support from those closest to you. I have tears, complete meltdowns and have just wanted to run away! I am still here and I am having surgery on Wednesday.
This forum and the people on it are amazing and you realise all your emotions and worries are normal, everyone is at different stages in their journey so can support you along the way.
Try and keep positive and put all that energy into your lovely girls xxx
thank you Lucy for the reminder. I am astonish how much support there is if you know where to look x
thanks for the tips Sarah, especially the google one. Since my biopsy on Tuesday I’ve kept busy working (I know I didn’t need to as work was very understanding but working on my handover stuff really helped me to stay in control) but as of today I’m medical leave hence time to think… x
Hi Herewego, so sorry you’ve had to join this club but as Sarah has said, the members are pretty wonderful
I think the thing that took me by surprise was the flood of emotions I had in the first few weeks following diagnosis and the way they changed from moment to moment, I found myself weeping quietly at odd moments and regularly late at night/early hours of the morning but then would be perfectly fine for hours at a stretch. Reading the threads here though has shown me that we are all the same with those emotional ups and downs though and that’s reassuring.
As someone who is normally fairly confident and capable I found it hard to be in a situation where I didn’t have much information so I did google everything and bought masses of books to learn as much as I could about my particular form of cancer (albeit that I skipped over anything detailed about surgery as I am a total wuss!). I know that wouldn’t be everyone’s choice of how to handle it but I think it helped me a bit (was diagnosed about a month ago and still waiting for treatement to start).
Best of all though was finding this forum as you can weep and wail on here when you don’t want to show your distress to your family, you can ask ANY question, no matter how big or small the issue, and some wise woman who has experienced it will pop up and answer it for you and most of all, when you feel low or down, they will pick you up again with some reassuring words and or dark humour.
So, I think that until you see your consultant again next week it might help you to think about how much information you want (lots of detail? Just an overview? Detail on some bits but not on others?) and then write down all your questions ready to ask him/her.
Do keep on posting and we’ll all try to help and support you through this
Hello Gazzlyn and Sharon - almost another day closer to some answers… Thank you so much for the tips and encouragement. I’ve started to work on my question list and hubby will be designated secretary on Tuesday.
I haven’t slept more than 4 hours for the past 3 nights so hoping all the emotional ups and downs combined with the lack of sleep will allow me to sleep a bit more tonight. I’ve never been much of a crier before but boy this week I’ve definitely made up for it, especially at night/early morning - good to know that’s ‘normal’
I’m sure I’ll be in contact when I have a wobbly moment before Tuesday and will keep you posted on the results. thanks again lovely ladies xx
I got sleeping tablets but only managed 4 hours at s time, was excited if I got 6.
Totally turns you around this diagnosis.
Mostly im quite rational about things, but occassionally have found myself distraught for no new reason. Its ok, this is a big deal and unexpected.
I have spent lots of time here chatting to these wonderful women. I also spend heaps of time on Pinterest reading funny stuff…that helps.
A friend of mine heard me on the phone to a supportive but very upset acquintance, she said you’re actually comforting her…? And often it seems to be like that. I waited until I knew more to tell anyone, it gave us time to get our heads round it too. Our girls are 10 &11 and after I explained it calmly and simply have coped fine.
Its just a fact that mum had a lump, surgery and is going to have chemo. They are far more relaxed about the whole thing than anyone else.
Waiting for appointments and information is hard, once you get moving through treatment its easier, still sucky but better.
Hi just checking in for herewego ( love the username new!) x sleep?- like sandie, beryl and lots of others I slept really badly - sometimes just 3 hours a night and found last thing at night and first thing in morning worst - this forum got me through it - was about to go to gp (actually I tried but couldn’t get an appointment when I could make it as was still working!) but then - possibly exhaustion - slept again hurrah! Last week was back to waking so left work and slept again ( except last night because of the wind banging my gate - neighbour must love me today! - and wheelie bin going for a fling ) good job it’s today as couldn’t pick it all up on Monday !! Keep smiling - hope the weekend goes quickly x lots best wishes sarah
thank you all for checking in ladies, much appreciated x
I did manage to sleep but only the usual 4hrs. Anyway, I’ve decided to take a break from netsurfing until Tuesday so signed up for NowTV and am now determined to get through the latest series of Scandal before the results app on Tuesday
Thanks for the telling kids tips Sandie. I’ve ordered the hard copy of Mummy’s Lump as both girls really love books but in case it doesn’t arrive for Tueday I’ve downloaded it too. Really not looking forward to having all those phone calls with family - no-one lives close to us - but it’s got to be done given that I heard last night that my op will be next Friday.
I need to keep my poker face today as meeting a really good friend of mine who lost her mum and sister to breast cancer. I have not yet figured out how to tell her next week but I don’t want her hear from the girls either that mummy’s not coming to ballet as she’s in hospital having a lump taken out… Guess I just need to come out with it as it’ll be a shock regardless.
I know a few people who I probably end up comforting too like you did Sandie although I don’t expect to be able to do that for a while without getting really upset myself.
Everyone have a nice weekend and thanks again
Annie x
ps. Good luck with the op on Tuesday Beryl xx
pps. Hope your wheelie bin behaves Sarah when the winds calm down
thanks for the delegation tips Beryl and all the best for tomorrow xx
I don’t expect to get any sleep tonight as now getting very nervous about my results appointment tomorrow morning. I also have to go back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon for the pre-admin assessment as op has been confirmed for Friday - although I still don’t know the extent of it. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t really care if it’s a whole breast or even both as I just want to get rid of any dodgy cells and see my girls grow up.
I’ve been fretting about telling my 4yr old and we decided to do it this afternoon as she doesn’t need the details and also so that she had a chance to spend time with us and ask any questions. I shouldn’t have worried though - she was a bit upset but mainly cos I was, liked the Mummy’s Lump book but as soon as we finished reading it she wanted to do her Frozen puzzle Got to love them!
I’m sure she’ll be thinking about it and will pipe up questions when least expected. This also means that I need to tell the nursery tomorrow in case she mentions my op, lump or there are any changes to her behaviour x
Hi Herewego, just wanted to pop in to wish you well for tomorrow, will be thinking of you
I was told today that I’ll be having a lumpectomy plus lymph node removal on Monday 26th (was diagnosed on 4th December - the waiting has been SOOOO difficult!) so you’re a bit ahead of me in terms of treatment but at least we should be able to keep each other ‘virtual’ company through the journey.
thanks x