up and down

Hi all

Thought I would start another thread get a bit lost on these. I went to the hospital today for my pre-op, I lost the plot a little there its all creeping up on me and the 2nd is getting closer, I want it to come and I dont. I have had a really bad day today I think it is just going to hospital that done it. I have been up and positive for 3 days and then today really low. I think it is the constant uncertainty about all this. Went to get nightware and a couple of bit of clothing today for afterwards I ended up cracking up in the shop, not showing myself up or anything but lost it all the same I suppose this is allowed I was in the underware department!! sorry for moaning girls fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow.

Deb x

Hi deb

Dont be hard on yourself I had my op in feb and this journey is not the best!!! We are all different and I loose the plot all the time!!

Some people seem to cope so much better but you will get loads of support on here

Thinking of you
Kay x

Hi Deb
Chin up - I was first diagnosed in 1988 and I’m still here, alive and kicking. It’s not all bad, so try to be positive.
I’ve lost the plot many times but always found my way through.
All my best wishes and kind thoughts are with you.
Joicey

Hi Deb

I was exactly the same before my mastectomy. Even on the morning in hospital I was booing just because its the unknown.
Afterwards I was fine, no tears, no yuk feelings when I saw it just very pleased that it had gone.

Don’t be hard on yourself its a big thing and you are “normal” to feel this way.

I just wondered as you mentioned nightie and I thought PJ’s are great for this. I got mine from Primark for £3.00 and they are trendy ones that I still wear. The button up front and short sleeves are great for the peeps who will be wanting to check out the wound and drain.

Dont forget to take books, trash mags and Ipod and your own pillow whoops and make sure you get some yum treats.
Great book that made me laugh was the secret life of a slummy mummy.!! Cheapo from Tesco. Easy to read and funny…!!

Anyway sorry to go on just I remember the things I took and needed for my op back in Feb!!! You will feel better once this is done.!

Sending you a(((((((hug)))))))

P x

HI P

Thanks for that pep talk I really needed that. Where are you I am in Kent, Its just you sound like me if that makes any sense.

Deb x

Hi Deb

I am in Sussex…what part of kent.you can whisper it back to me and that way only I will see.

Hey I still need pep talks and I am at chemo stage…!!! I still get teary days then pick myself upi and say No way…!!! Positive thoughts please.!! Its hard though and we all understand.

Just think not long and that bugger C will be gone.!!

xx

Hi Deb

I knew I had a grade 3 and lump was removed in Dec as they thought it was benign. It was 26mm and I also knew it was non hormone receptive cancer and my HER2 test came back as negative so hence I am triple negative.

I wanted the mastectomy as in my head I wanted it ALL gone. No doubt then. I dealt with that fine but I was nervous about lymph nodes. I knew I had cancer in the first one so was really nervous about how many more could be infected. After then op I only waited 2 weeks to get those results and I just kept saying it is only in max 3 no more. I just tried really hard to be positive and when I got results it was a huge relief. Of course no lymph nodes involved would have been the best but as you said we can’t change what we have so I knew it was either one or more. It turned out I had 2 out of 13 so in my eyes not too bad.

I hope you have a fab time with your boys, how old are you Debs?

I have a toddler and 6yr old and am 43, late starter !!

Any more questiones please feel free…you are not a silly Moo…!!! Ramble away…

Speak soon

P xx

Hi Debs

I just read your thread. I havent been on here for a couple of days. Are you ok now? Wish I had logged on sooner for you. I know what its like when its a bad day. My last one was last Monday and dont want another one. I cried in Woolworths just looking at a birthday card for my mum. The day just went downhill from then on and I stayed in the rest of the day with my hankie.

I have got my pre-op tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. I have quite a fear of needles if I am honest and think when they do my blood pressure test it will go off the chart. Suppose I will get used to the needles though. Your op is a few days before mine. I’ll be thinking of you.

Take care
Claire x

Hi Debs
I have surgery approaching too… Im know what you are going through!
Im dreading shopping for the bra… and the nighties etc.
let me know how you get on, I will be thinking about you on 2nd.
Lisa
xx

HI all

I had my pre-op and then went shopping for nightware etc didn’t get a bra or anything tho, my Mcmillan nurse said they give a camisole top. Did go in the underware dept of Marks tho and ended up booing!!! silly moo don’t know why really not that bothered about loosing a breast I just want to be told that they got everything and get on with the chemo and whatever else I have to do to get rid of this. I didn’t finish my shopping either had a bad day Friday and ended up just coming home. My sister, bless her got me another pair of PJ’s and some slippers. Thank god for family. I do hold it together quite well most of the time, but the mind wanders! Still I am thinking that each visit to the hospital is closer to being over this and am trying to condition myself in to ‘looking forward’ to Friday, when the initial problem will be gone.

Thanks for all your comments and continued support,

Deb x

Hi Debs

You sound as though you have a lovely family.

Just got back from my pre-op and think they could see me shaking before they started. Had to have my pulse taken twice as the first time the result wasnt good. I did explain that it was because I was worried about the blood test. I never used to be bothered by needles but I am finding I am getting myself worked up and I feel stupid about it. The poor nurse had to take time to teach me to breath slowly to lower my pulse before she said it was acceptable. She recommended I practice the technique. God I am probaby going to be a wreck on the day and sound like I am giving birth. Dont think I was this nervous even when I gave birth. I am going to try and see if I can find a stress relief ball or something. I also saw the Consultant who went through the operation with me. Didnt realise I would be seeing him today.

I am busy cooking again now ready to put in the freezer. I find if I keep myself busy I am better. Even painted the fence in the garden at the weekend.

Take care Debs. I am thinking about you.

Claire x

Hi Girls
Just want to wish you all the best with your ops etc…I had mine 3 weeks ago and was exactly the same with the emmotions up and down all the time like been pregnant again!!! It is a acary time and im a real baby as far as hospitals go but i found that just relaxing and listening to what your been told and questioning anything really helps they know what they are doing. I had the reconstruction done from my tummy and also had an internal as well as outer tummy tuck but I couldnt believe how relieved I was that that part was all over when i woke up like a weight had been lifted a little and Im so happy with my new boob it puts my other one to shame but my surgeon will adjust the original in about a year!!! I have a nice flat tummy the scar is healing well a pert boob lol and my confidence is coming back even wearing clothes I havent wore for years coz of jelly belly!!! Its a hard journey but thinking of your families and friends but most importantly yourselves will make you go through it and you will come out the other end relieved happier and healthier good luck to all of you!! xx

Hiya

Not had a brill day today, I don’t know why just a bit down and grizzly this morning. I have also got terrible hayfever and forgot to ask the other day if I could take the tabs for it, been trying to talk to my BC nurse about it and still waiting for a call back but fortunately (or unfortunately) I have had a call from the hospital today and apparently you can take antihistamine and can I come in tomorrow and give another blood test because they didn’t get it to the lab in time and it had clotted. I know I shouldn’t complain but that is just an extra visit bit annoying really and a nice early start to get there before the school traffic starts on the A2. Moan Moan Moan I think that is all I have done today. Also Claire I know what you mean about getting in a state because they took my blood pressure in left arm first and that was ok then between taking it off one arm and putting it on another I looked at my husbands face he was really upset and that upset me and it went up. God knows what I will be like on Friday!!!

sorry girls.

Deb x

Hi

Melek - Thanks for your wishes. You are very brave.

Debs - I know exactly how you are feeling Debs. I am not so good today either. My 13 year old daughter cried herself to sleep last night and it got to me. Didnt sleep so well last night. You poor thing having to have your bloods taken again. Cant believe it wasnt tested in time. Terrible. Hope things go ok this morning. I’ll be thinking of you.

I’ve been practising some breathing exercises in readiness for the needles. Going to speak to my GP about it on Friday.

Take care.

Claire x

HI Claire

Just got back it took three attempts to get blood from me this morning but apparently I was a bit dehydrated well I left a 7.30 so only had time for a quick cuppa. Apparently you should drink plenty of water before you have your blood done it helps the veins. Telling me that was a bit like shutting the gate after the horse had bolted!!!

No Probs tho sorted now. Just waiting for Friday to get this over with

Poor little thing it must be hard for her, its just the unknown really I suppose she will be a great strength to you.

Best Wishes

Deb x

Hi Debs

You are a very brave lady! Shame no-one had explained about dehydration. I havent heard of that before. Thanks for the tip. I will remember that one for the next time along with my breathing technique.

You must be counting down now until Friday. I just cant wait until my op now but am nervous with it too.

Yes I think it is the unknown for my daughter. She is finding it hard at the moment.

Take care

Claire x

Hi ladies

Ohh definately drink lots of water especially when having bloods and chemo and keep warm as it is easier for them to get veins. My veins are really deep so they always have a problem and I drink about 3 litres of water before bloods and chemo.

I just wanted to see how you are Debs? and Claire when is your op?Sorry your daughter is finding is so hard teenage years is very hard without this. My daughter is 6 yrs old and has so far not been too bad. She tends to wipe my tears for me which makes me cry even more.

Anyway ladies I just wanted to say good luck and Debs you will be fine hunny just keeping thinking that cancer will be gone after friday ok…positive thoughts hun. I will be thinking of you lots

P xxx

Hi Debs
As you mentioned A2 and having your op on a Fri I wonder if you are going to DVH. If you are I had Mastectomy there last Sep and they were brilliant. Thought that might help a bit.

Good luck thinking of you.

HI

Thanks Paula I will be back on hopefully monday to report back, but feeling ok today strange really probably be a complete wreck in the morning. I felt a bit better when I had spoken to the BC nurse yeasterday and she is coming up to see me and my hubby before the op in the morning so that should get rid of a bit of the time and she is also having a word with the ward so that they will let my son in on the way back from the airport which would be fantastic!!! as you know I haven’t seen him since September so it will be great.

Hi Mollyjoemax Yeah I am going to DVH who did your op? they have been good and quite fast with things so no complaints there. Just all the waiting does me in.

I will be checking messages today and then back on Monday hopefully. Should be out by then .

Love to all

Deb x

Hi Debs

Just writing to wish you all the luck in the world for tomorrow. I will be thinking about you. Not long to wait now. Please let me know how you get on when you get back on Monday. It will be good for you to have your son there with you.

Paula - I am going on Tuesday to the main hospital in Coventry for my Sentinile Node Location/Imaging and then my op is Wednesday morning at our local hospital in Warwick. My daughter was alot better yesterday. I think her hormones are playing havoc with her as well as having all this going on. Thanks for the great tip about keeping warm before bloods etc . I’m very new to all this and need guidance!

Well Debs good luck for tomorrow.

Love Claire x