hi im new to this site…i was diagnosed on monday 18/04/2011 with breast cancer. im 37 with a little boy whos 8yrs old. am married and im very worried. i have a very supporting family and husband. but im worried i might die. had biopsys taken which confirmed cancer. awaiting for core biopsy to come back( not understanding what its about the core biopsy) the ultra sound is looking likely thats it hasnt spread to my lym nodes which i no is a good sign but im still worried. my lump is about 23mm. but its not a definate tho. seeing consultant next thur 28/04 awaiting very anxious about it i just want it to be ova. will they stage me or grade me then ?? i cant put my feeling down on here because i dont know what they are…im getting pain where the lmp is and ive never felt it before. im frightned incase its spreading. i want to se my son grow up and be happy…i cant help but cry when im tryin to write this…help…xx
Hi longlashes,
Sorry you have a reason to post on here, but rest assured you will get alot of support from others in the same situation.
Oh its so horrible isn’t it the waiting is the worse sending (((BIG))) hugs to you. I am 34 and was diagnosed in Dec and I am half way through treatment. I really understand about your son I have a 20 month old daughter and its all I think about.
It does get a little easier once you have a treatment plan and you know what is going to happen. Please rest assured that the cancer grows very, very slowly and the pains you are getting could be anxiety as you know its there. A core biopsy is when they insert a needle directly into the cancer to remove a solid mass which they then send for testing, I can’t honestly remember if I got told from the biopsy or after the lumpectomy what grade mine was or not it is abit of a blur, the stage is based on whether it has spread to lymph nodes etc… but im sure your consultant will explain more to you. The treatment for breast cancer has improved so much over the years.
Please keep posting on here, this site certainly helped me at the beginning and still does now.
Im sure others will also respond to your post aswell
Best wishes
Donna xx
Hi long lashes and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the valuable support you have here I am posting a link to the BCC resource pack which has been designed for those newly diagnosed:
Our helpliners are also here to offer you further support on 0808 800 6000, the lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 (closed Easter Monday)
Take care
Lucy
hi longlashes,sorry u had to find yourself here but u will get great support!as bunny said ,the waiting part is totally awful,u cant eat,sleep and just feel so sick and worried.it does get easier(i didnt believe that but its true!)i was dx in march,41 with 2 little boys.iwas told the type of cancer when my core biopsy results came in(invasive ductal,approx 2.5 cm)didnt find out stage and grade til after my op two weeks later.had wide local incision and sentinal node biopsy.(grade 2,and the actual lump was smaller than estimated at 1.5mm)due to start radiotherapy soon and 5yrs tamoxifen.feel very fortunate as no chemo needed.once u know what treatment u will be having it does make things a little easier like u have some sort of control.take it a day at a time.wishing u love and luck and keep posting. alex xxx
Hi long lashes
Sorry you had to join us here 
Your post echoed my thoughts and feelings from June last year when I was diagnosed and I thought and felt exactly the same. My son was 12 when I was dx and is autistic; I too had all those thoughts and fears combined with “who’s going to support him” ones too. BUT all I can say is you will get through. It’s a long road and I found taking one day at a time helped and it does become easier to deal with once you’re ‘in the system’ and you’ve got a treatment plan.
I’ve just posted on another thread for another lady who has recently been diagnosed and she’s looking for someone to chat to who has also been recently diagnosed, it’s the 5th April one if it’s any help as I found it really helpful talking to others on here at a similar stage to me and we walked the road together; it made it more bearable as we shared tips, tears and laughter.
Just a thought…
Wishing you all the best Dee x
Oh bless you kong lashes, im only going to echo what the other girls have said, it is soooo scary sometimes eh? now i had bc in 1997, I was 34 then, i went on to get married and have two beautiful babies, now 9 & 7,My boy is also autistic, at the time i had a mastectomy, feconstruction and cheemotherapy after which i took tamoxifen and zolodex. i have hd a great 14 years and despite being dx recently with bc in the other side, i, nor any of my doctors can’t see why i cant do another a 14 and many more years, you keep your chin up, and pop along for a chat anytime eh girls??? xxxxxxxx j
Hi long lashes, like you i posted my first post last week after being diagnosed with breast cancer 8th April. I’m 44 with a wonderful family, two girls aged 9 & 11, and have also cried and sobbed so much since, thinking that I won’t see them grow up, getting inconsolable at times, angry because of the wait - going in on the 26th for a snb to determine future treatment etc… have been told I will need a mastectomy and have asked for both to come off at the same time (just in case) have multiple tumours in my left breast (15-20mm) My mri and ultrasound didn’t show my glands as being suspicious but my armpit aches and throbs like mad now and I can’t help thinking it’s spreading too!
I think it’s only natural to feel this way, the responses i have had from wonderful ladies has helped me very much. There are times when i’ve tried to hold it in for the sake of the family but here you can let it all out and nobody minds, infact everyone understands so so much!
I so hope this site helps, i am hoping it will me, haven’t posted again till this because I did the wrong thing and got ahead of myself googling -got myself into a state to be honest so had a little break away from it. Even now I see so many new posts since then and am amazed and touched by the responses.
Keep your chin up, cry when you want to, you have a right to, folks tell me that once the treatment starts you feel much better to deal with things. Sorry if this sounds cheesy but totally undertand where you are at right now, take care mandy xx
Hi longlashes, I am also new to the site. I totally know how you are feeling. I am slightly ahead of you, as I have a date for my op. I can think quite logically at times, and realise that this disease can be beaten but at the same time I am terrified that I might be one of those who doesnt. I feel so much for you with having a young child. I am 58 and we are expecting our first grandchild in dec and our son’s wedding is booked for next year, my life was probably at its best and now its all been threatened. I have cried and worried so much since i was diagnosed that my doc gave me something to calm me down a bit. I dont like having to take them but they have helped. I will look out for your posts as I would like to know how things go for you. Take care and be strong. Elaine
Just a very quick one for all you ‘newbies’ - take it from an ‘oldie’ and DO NOT GOOGLE… just don’t do it!!!
Longlashes, just a quick post to say welcome, and to send you hugs. You’ve had a bomb go off in your life, and it can take ages for it to feel real, but once you’ve got your head round it and know what you’re facing, you’ll feel so much better.
Take a look at the resouce pack you’ve been pointed at, it will help you to formulate any questions you might have for your specialists.
Ask any questions you like on here, there will be someone along to help. NO SUCH THING AS A SILLY QUESTION.
Off to bed, had a really busy day lolling on the beach and I’m pooped, but before I go I wanted to send you a hug.
CM
x
hi I have just joined the club I never wanted to join. I was diagnosed on 20th April grade 2 invasive ductal
ca. work for Marie curie as a job so you can imagine I am
beyond anxious. I have 4 girls am 44 and sick with worry. results of lymph node biopsy on wed and surgery 17th. comforting to know others have the same feelings . I am getting these huge feelings of panic and dread when I least expect it. it’s 4 am so no sleep either. wow I do sound moany!
awwwwwwwwww thank you all for ur words of courage…im up again at 4am. sick of no bein able to sleep. it still seems sureal. dont know wether its sunk in or not. get results on thursday. just wished it was 2m. thinking of u all…xxx
For me it took AGES for it all to sink in, and I tried all sorts of things but my head just wouldn’t accept it. I had surgery, nope, still hadn’t sunk in. Had my long hair cut off in anticipation of chemo, nope, that didn’t do it either. I think my first chemo did it for me, I was a total head-case and my very patient OH did just the right thing and just held my hand and didn’t talk to me, and clippered my hair when I asked him to once it started to fall out.
Sleep will come, once you know a bit more about what you’re facing. The Waiting Room is the worst place as you’re so out of control and your imagination takes over. But it WILL get better.
Good luck.
CM
x
I have to join in too and just reaffirm what the others have said. Waiting is the hardest part, once you know then you can start to move forward and do something about it. Feeling helpless and hopeless is terrible but once you know your treatment plan I think you’ll start to calm down and feel less terrified. I’m starting chemo on Friday and feel fairly calm about it, most of the time, but have my moments. I think it’s worse if you have a young family because it’s only natural to worry about them. My main worry was how to tell my family as I hated the thought of them being worried about me. It’s my job to be worried about them.
Ask question too. If you know your emeny it’s easier to defeat them.
I’m sending a big e hug.
X
Hi, I can certainly recognise that “beyond anxious” state - I was diagnosed 10 days ago (a total shock), told I’ll need a WLE, SLNB & radiotherapy. Now waiting for MRI scan (tomorrow), I presume so he knows how much margins to take in the surgery. Because of the bank holidays I don’t see the consultant until Tuesday, and every night that passes (yes, the nights are the worse, that’s when every ache & pain turns into something much more sinister in my imagination) is another day nearer to surgery. I just want to get things moving, the waiting is the worst. It has really helped me to know that others are feeling or have felt the same way & that apparently the worry does get better.
well its 01.30am and im up cant sleep feel sick the thought of going in to see the consultant tommorow. (god i wished it was ova). do you think its a good idea not telling my 8year old son about this i have multiple problems with my back had numerous surgerys on it thru having curvature of the spine. 21 years of ops on my back. i havent told my son about the breast ca because i think he has enough to contend with my back. do you think its right not to??? i dont want him to worry i would rather worry than him. i just keep sayng its my back playing up again…i keep thinking if i have chemo and my hair does come out them prob thats the time to tell him? really nervous for tommorow to see consultant…night all…xx
LL, it’s a very personal decision who and how you tell. I suggest you give the helpline a ring and talk over the thing about your son, as it can really help to have another uninvolved but very informed person to bounce things off.
Children are remarkably perceptive, and your son may have already worked out that things are different from just (sorry!) your usual back problems. They have very vivid imaginations and with the odd word or two overheard, they add up 2 and 2 and come up with about 47!
I can only share what I did with my family, but yours might be very different. We are very open with each other (me and my assorted children aged 24-12, there is no dad around to consider) and I have always been honest with them. The younger two in particular were a big worry for me, but they have since said that they really appreciate that I did not sugar-coat things and that I told the complete truth as I knew it. We also spoke about a huge family atom-bomb that happened when they were 8 and 6, and even then I didn’t cover up or hide all the horribleness, and they have since said that that was good for them as they knew I wasn’t lying to them or keeping them in the dark, and that they could voice their darkest worries and have their questions answered honestly. You might find that you are more ready to explain things to him once you have a clearer view yourself of what’s going to happen. I happened to share it all from the very beginning because they happened to ask why I was going to the doc, but you might prefer to spare your son the dreadful worry that happens before we get some answers and a plan of action.
There’s a book called Mummy’s Lump that you can get, which is aimed at helping parents explain the whole thing to children, which you might find helpful. I’m not sure the age it’s aimed at but that might be worth looking at.
Ultimately, the thing is to make the decision that is right for your own family, as each family is different and what works for one family will be completely wrong for another.
Good luck at your consultant appointment, and good luck for deciding how you deal with telling your son. It’s not easy, but I’m sure your son will surprise and amaze you.
CM
x
wishing u luck today. alex xxx
well i have been 2 see consultant and its ductal about 23mm in size. having surgery on 19th may…ultra sound looks good thats it does not look like it has went into my lymph nodes but making sure after lump is out and its sent to lab for test. then starting chemo really not looking forward 2 it like…its a long bumpy road ahead but im determined to go through with it fir the sake of my son and hubby im feeling more positive now…not looking 4 ward 2 losing my hair tho…they say this could go on for another 18months ??? really didnt think it wud be that long…positive thoughts all round xxx
Hi, I know what your feeling, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the 11th of feburary 2011. Which was really unexpected, I’m only 22 and have a four year old daughter. I was very scared while waiting for results although as soon as I saw doc after my ultrasound and mammogram I knew it was the worst even though they didn’t tell me officially til a week later. You do lose alot of sleep. It’s the not knowing. I was then, on the 11th of March, after a ct ( chickened out of MRI) that I wAs told it had spread. That was the scariest Point in life. I was so worried about what secondary breast cancer meant to me and my life. I know that my life will come to an end before it should but I don’t let that scare me anymore. I have a daughter to live or and a wonderful partner who proposed not long after I was diagnosed. I hope all goes well for you Long-Lashes.