Very worried

Hi everyone. I am very new to this but feel like things are happening very quickly. I’m 33 and found a small pea shaped lump in my breast a couple of months ago. I went to my doctor than and he felt it but said that it seemed ‘normal’ and that to watch it and to come back in a few weeks. I went back to him last Thursday and the lump had not changed. I told him I was nervous so he scheduled me for an ultrasound but reassured me that things were most likely alright and not to fret too much. I went to get the ultrasound yesterday, and the technician called in some doctors to look at it, and they were talking about it amongst themselves “do you see that shape? move it to the lymph nodes…do you see that?” etc… Meanwhile not saying anything to me, but mentioned an aura and halo. They then said that I needed a mammogram and a biopsy. I went straight to get the mammogram and they told me to wait for the doctor to talk to me.

A nurse practitioner came in to talk to me and told me I was in great hands and scheduled a biopsy for tomorrow (June 9) and a meeting with the surgeon June 15. Every time I asked if I had cancer she just kept telling me that they would find out with the biopsy and that I was in great hands and will get all the help I needed. I am scheduled for a MRI on Sunday. My doctor called me from home and said how shocked about the abnormal findings and asked how I was handling things. He never said anything about it being benign or a cyst. He told me the biopsy will give them a more ‘concise’ answer.

To say the least I’m very frightened and confused. I’m worried about the biopsy tomorrow and so much secrecy. I’m happy that they planned ahead for everything but scared because I haven’t been yet diagnosed. It seems as though they are walking a egg shells. My question is would they say their suspicions to me or keep it to themselves until after the biopsy and MRI? Can they tell if I have cancer from the ultrasound and mammogram? I am worried sick that it is in Lymph nodes. I can’t stop researching it but I know I shouldn’t and be patient. I just hate waiting!

Thanks for reading this long winded story. I guess I just needed to vent and get advice from others that have been through similar situations.

The most important thing is to try not to worry too much… Easier said than done I know but it’s very important to stay strong and positive. When I was recalled for a mammogram I had to wait a week. I had an ultrasound and biopsy on the same day and then waited two days for results. I then had am MRI followed by a 2 week wait to see a surgeon. Things are moving quickly for you which is brilliant. Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing but in the meantime stay positive and Good Luck.

Hi

Good luck today.

You will find that the medics are reluctant to tell you anything if they don’t know for sure and that sometimes you have to be quite firm and precise in your questioning.

Mammograms and ultrasounds show masses, and from these they can tell if they look suspicious or not, but it’s only a biopsy that will confirm their thoughts.

I could tell by the nurse’s face that all wasn’t well and pretty much refused to go until they told me their suspicions. I think that many people perhaps don’t want to know and so they work kn the basis of not telling unless you ask. Maybe today explain that the not knowing is making you worry and that you would prefer it if they were more open with you, even if it’s not good news and even if they can’t be sure.

This waiting game is awful but will pass. X

hi,

Everyone here will tell you here that waiting is the worse bit. Its scary and no matter how much people tell you not to worry,if thats the sort of person you are then its hard not to.

someone needs to tell radiologists that just because we are laid there with our bits out for all to see like a specimin we are not deaf. Surely they can train these people to come to us and say–I have found something unusual on your scan, and would like to show it to my colegues. He should have explained those words to you.

I dont think people are keeping things from you. I think the normal practice is to tell it like it is. I have heard people whoes radiologist told them straight away it was cancer. or a cyst. But there are some growths that they simply do not know what they are dealing with until they do they biopsy and so have nothing firm to tell you.

I am petrified of needles and all hospital proceedures, but I can tell you that the biopsy is not a problem, I had two core biopsies and I did not feel a thing. the radiologyst clicked the punch into the air first so that I could hear what it was going to sound like. You could ask yours to do that if you think it would help. I dont think they are going to be able to give you any more information today, but there might be someone who could tell you what the range of possibilities are,and what the scan showed that indicated more tests. Have a list of questions when you go in today and grill the nurse practicioner and the radiologist.

Is this all at a national health hospital or is it private??

Anyway my heart goes out to you between now and the 15th when you see the doctor. Waiting is the worse bit, especially when you seem to have no information at all. Why not give the helpline a ring, they might make some sense out of what is happening, and are very supportive.

and use this forum, everyone is so supportive. People range from others waiting for results to people who have been fighting for years, but everyone knows how worrying this stage is and will give you lots of help

Blond girl,

It is a worrying time and the waiting before you have full knowledge of what you’re facing is really the worst time. Somehow we find the strength to deal with whatever the situation turns out to be. After my initial visit, consultant couldn’t find anything, mamogram clear, ultrasound , that’s when I know there was something to be concerned about,. I asked question throughtout and was given very straight answers, which is how I prefer it. Back for magnified mammogram that still showed nothing clearly. I had a core biospsy there and then. My Dr then confirmed that they were very suspicious and explained what the biopsy would reveal. I waited a week for the result. I’m 57 but still have dense breast so the mammogram didn’t show anything clearly. This is usually the problem for younger womwn, but the ultrasound is much more accurate. I then had an MRI on both breasts just so that we know what we were dealing with. Everything else was clear. It’s grim but I came out of it knowing what we had to deal with and knowing that I was being treated with the intention of curing me.

I do hope your results are good for you, but if you have to join us, please come back to this site as you’ll have amazing support from women who really know how you feel, as we’v eall been there.

My best advice is to take a relative or close friend with you and go armed with a list of questions. Don’t be rushed and make sure you understand. It’s really hard to understand everything at first, but BB nurses can answer question anytime and the nurses here a brilliant. Good luck Blond girl, ad let us know how you are.

Blondie, first of all, have lots of (virtual) hugs from everyone on here. We know just how scared and nervous you are with all of this.

A couple of things:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SILLY QUESTION. If you think of it, it’s worth asking. Get yourself a little notebook to write them down too, as you’ll easily forget them in the middle of all the stress.

Take a look at the Publications section of this site if you want to go googling. There is a lot of very frightening and inaccurate tosh “out there”, so stick to reputable sites, such as this one, Macmillan, Cancer Research, Breakthrough, that kind of thing. Avoid the single-issue sites and those that are just trying to scare you into buying something (lOAds of those out there!)

Use these forums as much as you feel you need to. You will get tons of support from people who truly know what you’re going through, because we’ve all been there before you.

Don’t be in a mad rush to tell people if you don’t want to. Until you have something specific to tell, sometimes you can end up just having to support them rather than the other way round. Of course you know your friends and family better than I do so you’ll know who will be most likely to be able to support YOU rather than the other way round. (I still haven’t told my elderly father more than 6 months after my diagnosis, and don’t intend to either, for both our sakes, but have had loads of support from friends.)

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.

Even if it turns out to be cancerous, there are LOTS of treatments available that work very well.

It could still be non-cancerous. Until they get the sample under the microscope they can’t be completely certain.

If you find it useful to talk to a human being rather than typing to hundreds of us, give the Helpline a ring. They are well-informed, knowledgeable and very caring people who will help you to get things straight in your head, will answer any questions you can come up with if they can, and really don’t mind even if you just blub your heart out down the phone.

Best of luck, and have some more virtual hugs.

CM
x

Hi Sweetie,

Of course you are very worried, you poor thing. Hope you have someone to support you and give you big hugs when needed. This is the worst time - the worrying time!! And it could be nothing, but IF it is something then you will feel better once you have a plan of action - your life wont fall apart like you think it will when you’re imagining the worst.

I’m 33 as well and was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, but had an opposite experience to you - they couldn’t see anything on the scan, told me I was fine, they gave me antibiotics and told me it was an infection. These didn’t work and it continuted to swell. I went back and had another scan, again was told it was nothing. I insisted on a biopsy just to put my mind at ease (I lost my mum to breast cancer so was really worried). 2 Mondays ago I went in to get what I thought would be reassurance that all was fine and it wasn’t. After an MRI scan they found either a 25mm or 100mm tumour (so basically still didn’t know) and suspicious lymph nodes which turned out (after another biopsy) to be cancerous. I was straight into chemo (which has been fine so far). The worst bit was all of the waiting. Now that I have a plan I feel more in control! Although do still have blips!!

Sorry to whitter on!! Just wanted to let you know that there are lots of us on here who understand. However, it might not be anything. FINGERS CROSSED! And if it is, there is alot of support and many, many people are cured.

Private Message me if you have any questions at all.

I really hope today and the MRI scan go well (I was really scared about the MRI, but it was fine!). Do you know how long you have to wait for the results? I, luckily, didn’t have to wait long as I kicked up such a fuss after my consultant had dismissed me with just an infection on 2 occassions!!

Best of luck Blond Girl.

xxx

Hi huni,
Best of luck today the biopsy isnt that bad at all.
Of cousre your worried,I fell to pieces when I was told,Im 32 and was diagnosed in April 2011 they told me there and then after scan and mammogram that they were fairly sure it was BC so I had a biopsy to confirm and 4 weeks ago I had a mx but my results showed clear lymph nodes (thankgod) so im waiting to start chemo etc soon.You have to try to be positive and strong ( I know its easier said than done) and everybody on here are going through it and give great support and answer any questions (prob lots) you might have and that your not alone through this,which is how i felt but you will get through it
Take Care xx

Best of luck for your biopsy today. My situation was similiar in that they would not catch my eye, so that in itself told me they were suspicious. I went back ten days later and was told it was cancer. I asked if they had known at the time and the answer was yes, but they had to be totally sure before they told me just incase they were wrong.

But, Cancer is a horrible word, and one we all shy away from but even if it turns out to be cancer, there is a very very very high chance you will be treated and then be able to get on with the rest of your life. I am under the Royal Marsden and they keep telling me about 90 per cent of women diagnosed make a full recovery. I used to think hmmm there are enough ladies on here who are really sick, so this confused me, but then I was told most people who recover don’t come on forums as they want to distance themselves away from cancer.

Good luck xxx

That’s really interesting, Stargazerlilly. There seems to be so many people on here with secondaries I thought that there was a pretty high chance of getting them… x

Thats exactly what I thought too, but when you think about it Sandytoes, how many women are being diagnosed every day with cancer, and in reality how many women are on these forums, a few hundred at most. I mean I know for a fact, that once I am (hopefully) clear of cancer, I will not come on here as I will want to be getting on with my life. I have about 40 friends on facebook who I met when mum was diagnosed with cancer three years ago. Most are doing reall well, and NONE of them use these forums anymore as they feel they dont need too.

You are always going to use them if you are very sick or you are new as there brilliant for advise.

xx

Blondegirl
Try not to worry take each day as it comes. you will find for a little while, untill all the pieces of the jigsaw come together to make a bigger picture, the goalposts do keep moving untill ALL tests etc are done, it is definitely a kaledascope of emotions worrying from do I have cancer to am I going to die? All perfectly normal I might add! I had bc at your age (well 34) I had mx/chemo/tam/zoladex (refused rads kept it in reserve for local recurrence if ever it was needed) my nodes were clear, despite that I went on to marry and have children (now 9&7).

Fast forward 14 years I have a new primary bc, other side, this time with node involvement, I am halfway throgh chemo (again!!) bald but still loving life! (not withstanding the side effect days that can bite you on the bum!) I have has clear bone/ct scans and all my team + me see no reason why I cannot beat it again!!! one thing is certain I’m sure is that a posotive spirit is vital, take each day as it comes, even the bad days are one day nearer to cancer freedom… I think I said on another thread, whereas it’s true that some don’t make it, as someone said just a couple of posts earlier to you, focus on the MANY that do!!! I’m one …My Mum 10 years and still free… and I have other friends who have beaten cancer …chin up kid you can do it…IF and in my book it’s still an if… you have to

Love Jeanette xxxxx

hi
I was told 125 people are diagnosed with breast cancer every day, so we are not in a very exclusive club are we!!

Hi blonde girl,
Aw bless you, I’m sending you a huge cuddle.

We can all empathise with your situation, waiting is horrendous and your mind goes into overdrive with all kinds of thoughts. It’s absolutley natural to be worried, not only for yourself but also how others may react if/when you tell them anything. I told my family and girlfriends that I was going to see a consultant. When I first saw my consultant i took my best friend, he sent me for an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy all on same day, even though none of these were planned - after the biopsy, he just said that there was something ‘suspicious’ and would have the results in 2 days.

That night was totally agonising, I feared the worst, couldn’t stop crying and snotting everywhere and I turned to vodka (probably not the best way of coping, but it helped to numb everything a little). When I was diagnosed 2 days later I was surprisingly calm as had got my fear tears out of the way that first night, then I decided to tell all of my close friends and family and told them to ‘spread the word’ as I was only going to be an emotional wreck for one last time as the next day was going to be a new day and I was going to fight the ‘squatter’ head on.

It is difficult to dish advice as everyone is different, but it helped me to talk to my best girlfriends initially and I kept trying to tell myself to only deal with the ‘black and white’, it really does get easier once you are armed with all of the info and results and have a plan in place.

In the meantime, cry if you need to, shout and scream if it helps, but also take comfort from the lovely ladies who are on here and can completely understand where your head is right now.

Good luck and I hope your biopsy and MRI go well for you.
Bev x

Hello Blondie
I have had my diagnosis of BC today! From GP ref it’s been just over a month as they wanted to repeat Biopsies via mammogram not ultrasound I am so pleased they did this as first results were clear but they were not expecting this result and wanted more info. To be honest today hasn’t been all bad I feel lucky that I found it (thanks to weightwatchers) and grateful they investigated further. I’ve spent some time on here leadingup to this result and Iam empowered by the stories I read and grateful for the comments and support other ladies give. My best wishes for your appt you had today and please keep us posted. I’m vv likely to become a regular on here and will keep my eyes open for your posting.
Big Hugs
Michelle

Wow! I am so overwhelmed and thankful for all your support and well wishes. You guys truly are wonderful ladies with big hearts. I just returned from the biopsy and I must say it went better than i thought. No pain at all, well the prick (from the freezing) under the armpit was a bit more tender than the breast but nothing than I thought it would be. Now just waiting for the results. I am so lucky to have found you guys and grateful that you shared your stories and advice with me. I truly hope and pray that everyone of you gets the fastest and best treatment possible. I am feeling much better today, and I suspect it is because I found this forum. Thank you again!

I totally sympathise with you on this. Everyone at the hospital, my Professor, Breast Cancer Nurses etc., are all very sympathetic and speaking 2 me as if I have Breast Cancer although i have not yet been diagnosed. When i asked them why i needed an MRI scan the BC nurse told me it was to see if it had spread, of course this has set the alarm bells off in my head.I feel that its a big secret that im not “in on” although it is MY body. I think they should always be honest even if they cant be sure they could say well, it looks like this but we cant be sure until this, at least you would have some idea of what is going on. Good luck with it all.

I agree with you completely Mamalow. I felt like they were speaking around me and not enough to me. It was so overwhelming and scary. I tried so hard not to read into what they said (or didn’t say) or try to guess their facial expressions but it was hard not to do. Waiting is agonizing! I am so sorry you had a similar experience!

I had my appointment with the surgeon today and got my results back. The lump is positive for cancer but the lymph notes negative. I am feeling relieved to finally have some answers but not everything is clear and I still don’t know what stage I’m at. I was sent home with so much reading material, and they will be making appointments for all the other screens for the staging (chest x-ray, abdominal uls, bone scan and MUSA scan) and gene testing. I just can’t believe I have breast cancer but I’m happy that they found it early and they said it was small.

I am overwhelmed and a little uncertain what will be happening next. My surgeon was fairly positive but explained to me that they would normally do a Lumpectomy and remove the lymph nodes (for further testing because they were inflamed with the mammogram and ultrasound) but I guess if I have the genetic gene they are worried that it may come back so unsure if I should have radiation now. Mastectomy was talked about but I don’t want to do it if it is not necessary and my doctor made it seem like it isn’t…well at least for now (and hopefully forever!) I guess I’ll have to wait to see how this plays out.

As you can tell I’m just very confused, sorry if this is so jumbled!

Hi Blonde Girl,
Sorry that you’ve had the news you’ve got, but take comfort from the fact, like you said that they’ve found it early and you’re on the road to getting more concrete results.

The amount of info they throw at you seems endless and I didn’t find this site until I was 2 ops down the line (wish I’d found it earlier, it has been a bit of a sanity saver lately) - it was a bit of a white knuckle ride for me initially and I just managed to hang on by my fingernails for the first 8 weeks or so, goalposts changed once all my tests and first op had been complete.

Hang in there, it really will get easier for you once you have all the results in place and know what you’re fully dealing with.

PM me if you like, the helpline here is very good as are all of the ladies who are on here who know exactly what you’re going through, how scary it all is at first and how much of a head screw this can all be…

Keep your chin up, and dip back in here if you feel the need to.
Bev x

Hi blond girl.

So sorry to read your story. I work as a BCN and we usually let the ladies know before they go if we think it’s a cancer. But some docs I work with are a bit vague and say they can see changes or kooks different to what we expected. Sometimes after the doc goes the woman will say does that mean I have a cyst and I have to explain we think it’s cancer. But until the path comes back we dont know for sure. We have had some ladies with very benign looking lesion which turns out to be cancer and a very malignant looking lesion which turns out benign. And perhaps that’s why your team aren’t so keen to tell you until they have the path results in black and white.

Are they sending you for genetic testing based on your family history? If it’s just you that has bc then you wouldn’t automatically fit the national criteria for testing although some units do testing outwith that criteria but if they can do it remember it’s up to you if you decide whether or not you get tested as it obviously has implications for your health, your life and for your family. also bear in mind that only 30% of women with bc under age 30 are genetic most just occur by unlucky chance.

Best wishes
Lulu xx