Hi, I was recently diagnosed with the BRACA1 mutation and was awaiting breast prevention surgery when I discovered a lump in my armpit.
I was checked over yesterday, had an ultrasound with core biopsies taken and they have told me they are 90% sure it’s breast cancer.I have to wait a week now to confirm this but have been told to prepare myself.
I am now sat in the dark worrying myself silly, feel so panicky.I watched my mum die from cancer and I thought that I would be able to have preventative mastectomy when I found out I carry the gene but it seems cancer got to me first! I am so scared of dying, I have 4 children and my partner is great but he recently lost his sister and Dad to cancer and I wonder how we can get through this.
Middle of the night is the worst time for dark thoughts isn’t it?Dont write yourself off,vast majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer do survive it and significant progress in treating it is being made all the time.This time last year I was exactly where you are but one year on I am fine back at work and getting on with my life .You will feel better one you know exactly what you are dealing with and what treatment you will be having.The unknown is the worst .Lots of advice and support on this site.saved my sanity last year.Good luck.Jill.
Hi Foxy, The middle of the night is the worst time, I would wake up with the most horrendous panic attacks and would be shaking so much that It would wake hubby up before I’d said a word to him, horrible time and what your feeling right now is a natural reaction to something that may or may not be happening to you, it’s beyond your control at the minute and it’s terrifying but with answers comes the ability to cope better, God willing you get the all clear but if not you will know what’s going on and be much more able to deal with it, I lost my mum to breast cancer too so I totally understand your association with it isn’t positive , neither was mine plus I lost a dear friend to ovarian cancer just weeks before I was diagnosed so my head was already in a bad place and was sure I was going to same way but it really isn’t like that and for the vast majority it’s so treatable , both Jill and I were where you are a year or so ago and we are both still here fighting fit now! Will be praying for a good result for you but what ever happens you will find plenty of support here Xx Jo
Thankyou, I feel a bit more positive today but the underlying panic is still there, I am just worried about the stage I will be at when it’s confirmed.
My daughter is 10 and already suspects something is wrong so going to sit the kids down tonight and tell them.
Foxy at least you were being investigated for the BRCA gene & found it earlier than you might have done otherwise. Well done you for facing up to what must have been a difficult decision & bad luck it might have already started. You were doing all the right things. It’s a really anxious time & we’ve all been there. Try a bit of deep breathing when you’re feeling really uptight. All the best with everything xx
Hi Foxy, I echo comments from the other ladies fully. There is a publication, which you can download from this site - to help you with talking to your children breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/mummys-lump-bcc164 xx
Hi Foxy, keep reminding yourself how far things have advanced in just the last few years. I was speaking to a friend who’s a doctor and she said even in the last 2 years great advances have been made. She had a double masectomy a few years back and she completely cancer free now.
As someone else said, the vast majority of women survive breast cancer these days.
I know it’s scary but now it’s been caught you can have surgery and treatment and recover.
Hang on in there. Give yourself lots of TLC. Try using Mindfulness to stop your mind going over and over it. Just google ‘Mindfulness’…loads of info online.
Pat xx
Thankyou for all your kind words, the kids were OK.My daughter cried then went out to play with her friends and my elder son asked alot of questions and thought i’d be better in a few weeks! Also asked if i will go bald, lol. My youngest is only 5 so he doesn’t really understand. You have to love their resilience.
Awwwww flip Foxy, to your kids reactions - lummy, nowt more honest than kids reactions, but love ‘em tho’, cos they’re so funny too!! Sense of humour in ANY nasty situ counts for sooo much.
I’m sooo GLAD you’ve broached it to and with them all, to get their reactions.
It’s “early” days yet, so don’t write ANYTHING off. I’m 10 years down the line from you.
Am wishing/hoping EVERYTHING GOOD for you.
Loadsa love and a big looooong Delly hug
xxxxx
Foxy so pleased your kids were OK. Ours was a bit anxious to start with, mainly due to googling, but he quickly just went back to his normal life. I know a BRCA lady who got it, had the works treatment wise, did the double mastectomy & immediate recon & she is completely back to normal enjoying her life as she was before. Yes, there could be a big hill to climb, but you can do it & you will get your life back even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Sue’s mindfulness tip is a good one. My chiropractor said the more mindfulness you do, the more the area of your brain responsible for anxiety/worrying shrinks. We should all do it! xx