Waiting for results, very scared

Hi all, my name is Carole and I am knew to this site.

About 5 weeks ago I started to have bleeding from my right nipple, went to the doctor who prescribed me with antibiotics, they didn’t seem to be working so I went back, he gave me different ones and then reffered me to the breast clinic. I have since had a mammogram, ultrasound and a biopsy. I have an appt with consultant on 8th December for results. I am worried sick, and pretending to everyone that I am this big brave girl who will just deal with the outcome. I now find myself reading all about breast cancer and trying to prepare myself just incase. Do you think I am being silly??. I have decided to go back to work on Monday ( I have had the last week off cos I couldn’t stop crying) as I’m hoping it will take my mind off things. I don’t want to think the worst but at the same time I do want to at least try and prepare myself just in case. This feels good to write down how I’m feeling cos I’m not bursting into tears xx

Carole x

Hi Carole,

The waiting time is awful and so much will be running round in your head. There’s no point in me saying try not to worry as you will. Lots of people on here can give you advice and support and you will learn lots from here if you need to. At this stage try not to read too much and go Googling as you will scare yourself silly with things down a line you may not have to travel. Being informed about what may happen if it is BC is one thing, scaring yourself into a frightened mess is unnecessary as you can do nothing at this stage to change anything and will only have yourself diagnosed into the worst situation imagineable.

Sometimes just writing down how you feel or chatting to others is enough to stop us going insane with our private thoughts so hopefully you can get some relief here.

I know a week is a long time but all too soon the 8th will be here and you will either be able to walk away with a sigh of relief or begin to come to terms with any bad news and find your way through it as we have done. Try to carry on your life as before not dwelling too much on what might be, so it might be, but it just as likely, if not more, wont be.

xx O

Hi Carole!

I know how you feel because after biopsy back in June this year we then went on holiday for a week and the whole time I alternated between telling myself I was probably absolutely fine and then thinking it probably was breast cancer. I read up loads before seeing the doctor again and I’m glad I did because it was cancer. But I had a lumpectomy, 2 lymph nodes removed and there was no spread to nodes and surgeon got clear margins. After a 4 week wait I had 25 sessions of radiotherapy and now feel back to normal, although I can’t “wean” myself off this site and still come on most days. I think it’s a good idea to go back to work and yet prepare yourself in case. I hope you get good news on the 8th December - the waiting is the worst bit!

Thank you for your replies, it wouldn’t be so bad if the hospital didn’t keep changing my appt, first it was on 8th December at 2.20 QE2 then they changed it to Thursday 11th at 10.15 at a different hospital, now they called today and changed it back to Monday at 10.05. As this is my first post and I was abit anxious about using it I didn’t really say everything I wanted to . Can I ask, has anybody had bleeding from the nipple, and the top of the nipple looking like it’s all raw, it doesn’t hurt or anything like that but it just looks like the top layer of skin is coming away, the “lump” feels like it’s right behind the nipple and quite large, obvioulsy I don’t expect anyone to diagnose it but wondered if anyone had the same kind of symptons and they turned out to be ok. I am feeling ok though, not really worried at the moment just anxious now for my results, it has been quite a wait.

Love Carole

Hi

I am assuming nobody has replied because either they have not had the same symptoms as me or they have and it wasn’t good, either way please could someone speak to me, you guys are the only people I can properly talk to about this.

Carole xx

Dear Carole

I am sorry you are feeling so worried, if it would help to talk things through with someone please call our helpline, it’s open again on Monday 9-5 (weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2) on 0808 800 6000.

Best wishes
Lucy

hi caroleg2007
i havent my self had your symptons so cant comment sorry, im sure somebody will post at some point, i understand its the hardest part waiting as been there myself.
i just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way and wish you the best of luck
hope you get the results you want
lots of love an pstive thoughts sending our way xxx

Hi Carole

Just seen your post. I haven’t had the same symptoms as you but just want you to know that you aren’t alone. Waiting is the hardest and most scary thing, and I do hope you get the results that you want on the 8th. Post on this forum, the ladies on here are amazing, I’m sure someone will have experienced the same symptons as you and will reply soon.

All the best,

Cat xx

Hi Carol
I have followed your thread, and see that you are desperate for someone with similar symptoms to respond.
Before you read the rest of my email, please know that I understand what you are going through - and please remember than my case is very rare, and there are many many other things it could be.
My diagnosis was pagets - average age of a woman with pagets is 62 (I am 42).

Well, here goes… I had a tiny bleed from the nipple, it was bright red - I blamed the new bra I was wearing. But after a few weeks it was still not healing - not bleeding but it looked sort of scabby at the end.
No lumps could be felt. I went to my GP and she sent me to the consultant specialist.

She pressed my breast, and discharge came out- they took a sample. It showed abormal cells, but inconclusive.
I had a mammo - this showed little white dots called microcalcifications behind the nipple.
I then had a core biopsy but this was inconclusive.
My consultant then sat me down and told me that she thought is was cancer, but needed the proof in her hand because the treatment was a mastectomy.
She took a sample of my nipple under a local anaethetic - it came back as pagets (nipple cancer)
All this took 5 weeks.

I had a mastectomy in May this year. I was refused an immediate recon because they didnt know the full extent of the cancer.
However, 4 weeks after the mastectomy, I was told it was DCIS (Ductal carcinoma in situ) - it was localised and hadnt developed the ability to spread.
This is considered grade 0. My consultant told me that she was pleased to say that I was as close to being cured as anyone could be with cancer.

I have just had a recon 2 weeks ago, and I feel amazing. I didnt need chemo or radiation, the surgery was curative.
This is me - not you. Please dont read this and self diagnose.

Good luck for Monday, and please let us all know how you get on
Lisa X

Hi thank you to everyone who has responded, your replies do mean alot, and Lisa, thankyou for your reply and I won’t self diagnose based on your own personal circumstances, but I do like to read/find out if anyone has had the same symptoms as me purely so that I have some kind of idea of what to expect what ever the outcome. I am really glad that things are working out for you, it’s really nice that knowing what problems /emotions, ups and downs what everyone seems to be going through there are always people on this site that just know the exact words to say, and for that I thank you, I will let you know how I get on on Monday, but after reading all the encouraging words that have been said not just to me but to others, I know that I have friends out there who are going through exactly the same as me so I don’t feel alone, obvioulsy my husband knows as well as my mum, dad and a few close friends but they don’t say much, they just like to keep very positive.

Many thanks
Carole xx

Carole
I will be thinking about you. Whatever the outcome, I hope you find a moment to logon to tell us x

Lisa

Hi carole

Just got to read your thread. I too had a mass in my breast, not a lump and also have 3 nodes involved.
My mass was 4cm when i discovered it, i was horrified i hadn’t noticed it earlier. A scan, mammo and a biopsy confirmed i had BC… It was such a shock as i hadn’t had time to even think about having cancer at only 36…

I hope your appointment today was good news…

thinking of you.

(((hugs))).
Shell.xxxxx

Hi Carole
I have been thinking about you all day, how did it go?

I hope it is good news
Lisa X

Hi everyone,

Now that I am all cried out, I am ready to fight on. I had my results yesterday, not good news, I do have breast cancer, I have to have a masectomy, due in next Friday 19th December, that want me in before Christmas, followed by Chemo.

When my consultant came out of his office yesterday he asked the receptionist for a Mrs whatever her name was, anyway, she came down and started to speak to my consultant, then they went into his office. I turned to my Husband and said, she’s there for me, with that she came out and called me in, then I knew.
She was teh Breast Care Nurse who was about to explain to me that I have cancer and that I have to have a masectomy. The size of the cancer is quite small, it is the location that is the problem, and that gives them no alternative. To say I was crushed doesn’t even come close, I had a feeling that it was serious, but had no idea it was to this extent. I kept thinking I am only 34, there is no history of BC in my family, why me, I hvae 3 children, 4, 8 and 13, what will I tell them. Anyway after not a very good night sleep, I am going to try and be positive and put everything into perspective, they have caught it early, and that is the main thing. I am going to see the surgeon today at 2 to discuss my op. I have cried so much I look like a bull frog, it stills seems unreal, when I talk about it I feel like I am talking about something that may happen and not something that is going to happen. Well Christmas is just around the corner, and I am going to make sure that we still have a great christmas, am going shopping on Monday to buy all the pressies, and spend all my money, shopping, what a great way to put some troubles behind you, if only for a little while. Well does this mean then that I have to move on to the next thread, thank you everyone for your kind words and I will be on the next updating and talking to everyone.
God bless

Carole xxxxx

Hi Carol,

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. If you need an independent, listening ear, don’t forget the helpline staff are here to support you, do phone if you need to. 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 9am-2pm)

Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

hi carole,

Im so sorry to hear your bad news and want to wish u all the best. i had a discharge from my nipple two years ago wen i was 34 but turned out ok, i was too young for a mamo so had an ultra sound but it was found ok. A couple of weeks ago i found a lump in the same breast. now im old enough to have a mamo and since then iv had to have a core biospy last weds. i get my results this fri 12th. iv been cryin and feelin like a baby as iv been thinkin the worse. I too have 3 kids ages 7,11,15 . i work part time and feelin like crap as iv not been able to go to work till i find out wat it is. This has upset me as i work as a carer in a old folkes home and im missin the old dears like crazy. At the moment i know my health has to come first for the sakes of my kids. They gettin excited about xmas and im tryin to be cheerfull(honest). Today though i got up feelin positive thinkin wat will be will be. I think the waitin is the worse cause then i can deal with it wen i know. My little one got up ill today and is off school with a bug and i thought i am gonna b strong for them and makin myself ill with worry aint gonna help as there may b nothin to worry about. i do wish u all the best and us women are strong, thats why we are the ones who have the children lol xxxxxxx

p.s was gonna take my partner with me wen i get my results but now i feel selfish as think iv stressed him out. u said u took your husband but im thinkin now maybe i should go on my own as iv worried him enough. wat do u suggest? xx

Hi Kazmay

Originally I was taking my best friend because the hospital had messed my appts about so much, my husband couldn’t take the time off, but yesterday morning when he got up at 4.30am, (he does shift work), he thought sod it I need to be there, so in the end he came with me. I wouldn’t reccomend going on your own, for me personally I am so glad he was there, in a funny way I am glad my best friend wasn’t there as I wouldn’t want to have put her through all that. If you feel you have worried your partner enough that you don’t want him there, please take somebody else. I don’t think you should go this alone, what ever the results, and as selfish as this may sound, what about you, what about how you are feeling, you need someone there for you. I hope when you get your results that it is good news, let me know, but I have found by only being on this site a few weeks, all these ladies on this site are absolutely great, so many words of encouragement., and always remember you are not alone.

Carole xxxx

Hi Carole
Oh - I am so sorry to hear your news. It is a horrible time for you, but you will find a hidden strength that will take hold of you, and you will fight through it. Believe me, I have been there, and all of the other ladies on this site too.
You will amaze yourself.

Did they tell you exactly what type it is or size? My cancer was localised to the nipple area (I think the same as yours). I was told that I was lucky since the symptoms presented early through the nipple. I was told that I needed chemo, but after them mastectomy when they could clearly see the breast tissue, they said I didnt need it.

I know this sounds crazy but the mastectomy op is not as bad as you think it is physically. It is the emotional side of loosing a breast which is harder. By the time I was in hospital, I had come to terms with it, loosing a breast was better than loosing my life.

I am here for you if you need to talk, Carole.
I know you can get through this.

Lisa X

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis Carole.

As Lisa says, you will find the strength to get through this and we are all here to support you.

My cancer was also beneath my nipple which meant I had to have a mastectomy. I had 1 lymph node involved so am currently undergoing chemo but due to having a mastectomy I won’t need rads.

If you have any questions, just ask,

sending you hugs and love in the meantime

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) xxxxxxxxxx