Hi,
My name is Linda. I found a lump next to my nipple 3 weeks ago but because my period was due, I waited. I saw my doc on Wed 2 April and she said it was about 3cm. she faxed letter there and then, and told me there was a two week limit that I would be seen within. The same afternoon the hospital (Derriford Plymouth) phoned me with an appointment for tues afternoon.
I can’t sleep. I can put it tot he back of my mind during the day, but at night my mind starts wondering.
Any suggestions about what questions to ask the consultant and can anyone please tell me what to expect.
Cheers.
Linda (Cornwall)
p.s. I have been reading some posts and you are all very brave… I take my hat off to you all.
HI Linda
I have just posted for the first time, I feel exactly the same, I have had my tests the thought of it is a lot worse than the actual tests. Night times are the worst. I have two sons who are away from home one the other side of the world I thought about telling them about all this yesterday just in case the result say it is cancer just to soften the blow, but I thought about it over night and I am going to leave it, why should they worry my husband and I are doing enough of that. I just keep telling myself to put it to the back of my mind until I get the results (Not Easy!) Try not to worry once I had my hospital appointment I felt better as things were moving on whatever the outcome. Thank god for this forum otherwise we may all go mad!!!
Deb
A hard wait, togglepin (?), but everyone deals with it differently, I suppose. I had a bizarre response where I walked around the nearest shopping mall for hours before my appointment with the clinical diagnostician, seeing everyone else as much more likely candidates than me for cancer. A bit of an ethical lowpoint.
I think I knew that it was not going to be something benign, but still I was knocked sideways by the speed with which I went from ‘me’ to someone with cancer. I’d guess most people are. Five minutes? Something like that. If you can assemble yourself to ask the right questions after the experience, you’re a tough cookie. They’ll tell you what you need to know to move onto the next step - hopefully just forgetting about the whole experience - and then you can think about it in your own time.
I’m based in Helsinki - state of the art treatment, but maybe different to the UK: for me the 2nd-round procedure was further mammograms (lots of breast squishing), then ultrasound examination of the tumour with the unsympathetic male doc muttering, “very nasty, vary nasty” and then biopsy. In Finland this is performed by inserting a needle-thing - scuse the lack of technical knowhow - into the tumour which is attached to a biopsy gun a bit like a starter’s pistol. No big deal. He fired three times - i.e. 3 samples - and we all knew the news wasn’t good. I was bundled back out into the waiting room completely disoriented and wiping away tears.
Everything since then has been fine. You get yourself together and realise you can cope. I’ve found it all a positive experience - fascinating, educational, and a ticket to what I want to do and haven’t been. To tell the truth, I haven’t felt so alive for years. I may be weird.
Thank you Debs and Emelle.
I think I am going to be ok. myself, I am feeling quite strong. my problem was telling people. my husband keeps looking at me with puppy dog eyes and keeps jumping up to do things for me which is very sweet. I realise I am so lucky because he could have gone other way and hid his head in the sand.
I have 5 children, four sons aged 18 16 9 and 8, and a little girl 6. I do feel my emotions getting better of me when i think of them.
My lump is quite big (to me anyway) doctor did comment that she thought it is not a cyst. and after reading threads on here it sounds like it could be fibroid sort of lump or a DCIS.
Thinking on my own at night is the worst. cant wait for tuesday to come and get it over with. Will I get any answers on the day do you think anyone?
I am 44 years old, feeling 75 at moment.
Linda
HI Linda
We are the same age and are feeling the same age too!!! I have told my sister and sister-in-law simply because they phoned at the wrong time and I just blubbed, a friend of mine also knows she has ad BC herself and knows what we are all going through. I just keep giving myself a good talking too but when you are on your own its not so easy your mind wanders again I get so annoyed with myself. Keep your chin up
Deb
Hi Debs
Thanks for your reply, When do you get your results? also how did you find your lump?
I could not feel my lump when examining myself the way they tell you to. but by leaning forward I sort of put my fingers into my breast and held the weight of it. that is when I first noticed it. I can also feel it when I lie on either side. The thing is, I think it goes deeper than it is wide (does that make sense).
Linda
ps, where about are you?
HI Linda
I noticed my lump by a red mark on my left side but I do examine myself regularly and am sure it wasn’t there the week before and it does seem to have got smaller I thought it was me fooling myself but my husband (bless him ) said it has definately got smaller but who knows because of the biopsy’s they don’t do them for nothing. I think sometimes we know too much, I just keep loosing the plot every now and again crying on and off, usually when I think of the boys. I am down in Kent. I think you are in Plymouth, is that right, that is where my son is at Uni.
Good luck with your appointment, try not to worry I know how hard that is.
Deb
Hi Deb,
I live just over the border in Cornwall. but I go to Marjon uni quite near to plymouth uni.
Have they given you any indication as to what your lump might be?
I must say, I am more informed by reading threads on this site, but as you say, we can know too much. I want to be informed about things when I see the consultant so that I am not listening to ‘gobledegook’ when he talks to me. I know me, I will forget everything as soon as I leave the room.
I was awake last night till 5.30. I know I shouldn’t be moaning like this because it could be completely innocent lump. not really cried though, will saave that for tuesday if I hear the worst.
Good luck Deb
Linda
Hi everyone
Emelle, your comments were so like I am feeling. I agree that the initial shock of having cancer is horrific, but having this disease throws you into a whole new world where you must cope. It makes you think about what matters and start to prioritise about life. In a bizarre way, it was what I needed to make me sit up and take notice of the stressful, unhealthy and very unhappy life I have been leading. I too feel more than ever now that life is precious and for living, not for wasting on trivial things. It is just a shame that it takes something life threatening to do so.
HI LInda
When I saw the consultant on Thursday he said that he didn’t think my lump was anything to worry about and it could even be hormonal but then they do biopsys and it gets you thinking. My lump is obviously not a cyst so it is solid so therefore I would assume they would test it anyway because from what I can gather they cant see on a ultrasound whether it is cancer or not. This is me being logical! this happens sometimes throughout the day and then I let myself down and start thinking the worse but then thats me being prepared for the worst. I have been sitting here today thinking I dont even want to go and get the results dont want to face up to things i suppose. Am I normal?? I don’t know.
Have they said what they thought your lump was???
Will probably chat again before you go on Tuesday.
Deb
Hi Deb
First of all I think you are normal, just like me… ha ha…
My GP reckons it is not a cyst, which does worry me, after reading all the information on here, i am coming to the conclusion that it is bc, I have narrowed it down to a few possible ones and trying to find out everything I can. If it is diagnosed as bc then I will opt for the mastectomy rather than lump removal. I am of the opinion ‘better out than in’ don’t want to take any chances. I have no fear of losing a breast if it means saving my life. which is wierd because my biggest fear before finding my lump was of getting cancer.
Hey listen to me… I haven’t even had tests done yet. my mind is running away with me.
When I talk to my hubby or someone else, I feel all brave and keep saying ‘oh I don’t believe it is anything sinister’ but deep down I think it might be.
my lump is on my right breast, to the right of my nipple. I did not detect it lying down but did feel it when held weight of breast in my hand. it is about 3cm (so doc says) and does not feel perfectly round, like an irregular marble but can’t find the edge of it.
will definately talk before tues, keep logging on and keep sane … sort of…
Linda
Hi Linda
Feeling a bit bruised today and sore but my lump doesn’t feel the same as when I found it don’t know if that is good or bad! I have spoken to my son this morning but decided not to say anything for now, why should they have 2 weeks of worry its bad enough for my poor hubby. Like you say you try and be brave but I get overcome with these black moods and it is difficult to shake them off, I convince myself I have BC and that’s it then when I get rational again I get all annoyed with myself. I feel constantly sick with butterflies in my stomach. It is so nice to talk to someone who knows exactly how I feel. I don’t feel sorry for myself it can happen to anyone BC is not selective and I have known a lot of women who have had it with good and bad outcomes. Just before I was forty I went on a sponsored walk to China with Breakthrough Breast Cancer and met a lot of women like us now and they are truly inspirational and I suppose we have to keep that in mind. Its just this constant waiting and we are lucky because you used to have to wait a lot longer. I am rambling on here sorry. speak later
Deb
Hi Girls
Just wanted to say that you are perfectly normal, I was a wreck last year when it all happened to me, I thought there was something wrong with me I was thinking the worst possible senario and at the same time couldnt understand why I couldnt see the ‘good’ side of all this. Maybe its our subconcious mind preparing us for bad news (just in case). I was surprised because I can usually look on the good side of things. Maybe its the ‘C’ word. I dont know, what I do know is that most of the women that come on here are exactly the same.
I sincerely hope that you girls get great news but as someone has probably said before if it is bad news you will get through it. Some people even say that although they got bad news and had to go through all of the treatment they were relieved that the ‘waiting for results’ time was over and were more positive knowing what was going to happen.
Take care of yourselves and have some pampering time.
love
Yvonne xx
Hi Deb,
Well done you for your sponsored walk, and I agree about not telling your son while he is away. definately the right thing to do.
I had an early night last night with hubby (no not for that reason) I had printed out some information on different options as to what my lump might be. we read them together and he feels so much better now. He agrees that if it is cancer, it is very treatable and curable. Before this he kept thinking that he was going to be left on his own with 5 kids… He is much more positive now. the thing is … I have had a little cry this morning, haven’t cried up till now. I think it is because you have to be strong for everyone else because they are crumbling around you.
Your lump not feeling the same sounds little on the good side to me. but keep focussed, and keep positive. well done.
Yes there used to be a longer wait than this. I was all prepared to see a private specialist for the initial consultation just to speed things up. I am lucky because my inlaws offered me the money to speed things up. When i made enquiries they could have seen me on friday (just gone) but would not have had any tests till week later, and they wanted to cancel my NHS referral… which made me think ‘this doesn’t feel right’… so I cancelled appointment with private specialist.
Anyway the local hospital phoned me half hour later with an appointment for tues pm. which is much quicker… really restored my faith in NHS ( always had it anyway).
Keep posting and keep smiling
Lindaxx
Hi Linda
I have just been reading your comments and you sound just like I did a few weeks ago. You are really crossing bridges, talking about mastectomies at this stage of the game!!! First of all, fingers crossed, it is nothing. If it is cancer, chances are it is very treatable as most breast cancer is. You may not need a mastectomy at all. I thought the same - chop it all off and have done, but when the doctors explained that removing the lump with other treatments is just as successful, I opted for that. It all depends on many things so may not be necessary. Its like so many other things that happen in life. We imagine the worst, far worse than it could ever be in reality. Our minds run away with us and we have ourselves dead and buried before we blink!!. breast cancer nowadays is very treatable disease for many people. Unfortunately, there are some where this is not the case and it is very difficult when you read and hear about serious cases to draw comparisons to your own problems - not wise!! However, remember that the vast majority will be OK. When you see your doctor, write down the name of the whatever s/he tells you. I didn’t and only remembered half of the name. That was fun (not) second guessing what I had.
Cathy
xxx
Thank you to Yvonne and Cathy,
Thank you for your comments they really help put things into perspective for me.
Will the doctor not mind if I start writing things down?
keeping positive
Linda xx
When I got my appointment last year they asked me to bring a diary to write things down. I didnt need it but it was in the routine letter in case I needed to write down dates or comments. They wont mind at all.
Yvonne xx
No, the doctor shouldn’t mind one bit about you writing things down. They prefer that you know exactly what you have and what the treatments are because it is much easier for them to treat a well informed person, than one who has the wrong end of the stick. When I first got my results, as soon as the consultant had finished talking to me, the breast care nurse took over. She had been present during my appointment so could relate in simpler terms what the score was. I asked all sorts of questions that she patiently answered. It is your body, your treatment and you must get as much information as you need.
Hi Linda
Welcome to the forums, where I am sure that you will continue to receive lots of support and information from your fellow forum members. You may also find our publication helpful to read, it’s called ‘Referral to a breast clinic’, this can either be downloaded from the website via the following link:
breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/referral_07_0.pdf
Please also feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000 if you have further queries or wish to talk your concerns over with someone in confidence. The line is open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
Best wishes
Lucy
Thank you Lucy, the link was great, gave me the info I was looking for. I have sent it onto another new lady on this forum.
Kind regards
Linda