Hi I wanted some advice, hand-holding as I’m terrified. Went to docs on Friday expecting to be reassured - had found a large lump when lying on my side, don’t examine in that position usually) and have been given an urgent breast clinic referral. Waiting at the moment for appointment. I’m 50 with two youngish kids of 10 and 13 (late starter, another story), and watched my mum die from cancer (not bc). I am utterly in shock, trying to be logical but feeling in a total fog and unable to concentrate or sleep properly no matter what I do. I’ve a very loving husband, but it’s strange, I feel so utterly alone, as if I’m in a bubble.
bookworm
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Oh we all know that feeling on here, this isnt happening to me, feeling totally alone and being in this bubble.
Your GP in referring you is being pro-active in wanting to get this checked out, but it still does not mean that it is anything sinister, there are a lot of other benign breast conditions that the breast clinics deal with as well.
It is great that you have your wonderful loving husband to support you. East said than done but try to distract yourself, which I imagine wont be difficult with two children.
Just keep coming on here whenever you need to there will always be someone on here who will be able to help and support you. This is a lovely safe environment where you can rant, cry whatever and we are always there.
Let us know how you get on with your appointment. You should get an appointment within the next 14 days as that is the NHS guideline for referrals to the breast clinic,dont read anything into it if the date comes through really quickly, it does not mean that there is anything sinister just that they are an apt date available.
Sending you a hug
Helena xxx
Hi Bookworm,
It always is such a difficult time when waiting, but it is totally right you have been referred & this is usual practice, so don’t read anything into an urgent referral.
Mostly it’s not bc, statistically it is the least likely outcome, but if in the off chance it is, then treatment is excellent now with the some of best outcomes out there.
I think many of us have felt alone with this, no matter who’s around us & as ever, it’s the uncertainty with waiting which sends the mind into overdrive.
It can help to carry on as normal, keep yourself busy & avoid the temptation to google as this only feed anxiety for no good reason & changes nothing.
If you need info, then use the bcc site here & come back & chat if you need to.
ann x
Thanks both. I am frightened as it’s a large ragged lump I did not know was there. I could tell my doctor was concerned, and she told me to ring her after the clinic if I needed to. I am doing all the usual mum and work stuff but just so tired and upset and can’t relax. In your experience do these appointments come within the 2 weeks specified ?
So I called and was told to call again at 6. Called again at 6 and they had closed the phone line ‘due to unforeseen circs’. It’s upsetting and stressful to not even know when I’ll be seen, I’ve got 2 kids to arrange for and husband to organise day off work. It doesn’t make me feel at all confident about the whole process.
I’m in Kent, red sky here but not stormy at all. I know I’m finding waiting super stressful but it’s not helped by being given wrong info even before I have an appointment. They said the consultants had seen the referral on Saturday, but they are waiting to see whAt ‘capacity’ they have to see me. I am terrified of what happened to my mum happening to me and my kids experiencing it. She was passed from pillar to post and her illness was made so much more awful for her and us because of poor communication and shortages in the NHS. That’s why I’m so upset I think.
Hi bookworm,
As Helena says breathe…
I’m in Kent too & could not fault the way my diagnosis was handled & subsequent treatment. Everything happened within the required timescales & the team was lovely & very reassuring.
It’s good they’ve got your referral & it would be usual to look at who could see you soonest, so try not to read anything into it.
Waiting is the worst, we’ve all been there at some point
ann x
Thankyou Ann that is very helpful and reassuring. Much appreciated. X
Hi Bookworm, This waiting period is so hard when all you want is to be seen and get it over with, all of us here totally empathise with you! I saw my GP on a fri and can remember that being the worst weekend I’ve ever lived though, I was told i would receive an appointment within the two week period as an urgent referral but I was still surprised to receive a phone call on the Monday asking me to come in on the Thursday , generally the NHS do excel in this area.
I was diagnosed with BC but it wasn’t anything to do with the lump I had been referred about, it was an incidental finding while I was being checked in another area of my breast that couldn’t be felt so although you have a lump it could very well be nothing sinister at all, there is no point in us telling you not to over think but as a lady here once said you can’t cross a bridge until you get to it!
Dig deep and try and get through the next few days, always someone here to chat too Xx Jo
Dear Jo. Thanks for that kind message. I’m digging ! I just had expected them to give me an appointment by now. Am dreading having another weekend before I see someone. It was grim phoning up when told to find the phone line closed. Thanks for understanding. Xx
So after a long wait on the phone I got through to secretary who told me they have a long waiting list for urgent referrals and the soonest I can be seen is Thursday 27th. Utterly at a loss as to how to get through the next ten days. Also, though I was very polite and patient the lady on the line was cold to say the least. Very upset.
Sorry to hear how you’re feeling at the mo, Bookworm.
But you do have the appointment & although the wait is horrible, you will get there - we all do & it is within the appropriate time scales so nothing is going to change in the interim. As ever, it’s the uncertainty of not knowing that is the worst bit when going through this.
Do come & chat whenever you need to.
ann x
Thanks Ann that’s very kind.
Thanks Helena that’s so kind. I’m ok for a while then terrified and upset again. My mother in law has been very supportive (my mum is dead) and is having kids Weds night and Thurs as appointment is Thursday morning first thing. Off for a day out with my 13 year old tomorrow (they have different 1/2 terms, annoyingly, as one is in primary school). Just having to accept the see saw feelings and anxiety. Had a couple of good cries. A shout at husband when he asked what I’d planned for dinner (!!!). And laughed a bit too. One foot in front of the other…
My kind of pants. I’ve never been a thong girl. X
Just to update. I was very lucky and got the all clear yesterday. I’m writing this so that other women who come on here in their anxious wait for an urgent referral can see that it’s not always bad news, and take heart. Also to say a big thank you to the wonderful people on here who helped in what was a horrible time of waiting and wondering. Love and luck to you all xx