I have posted this for new user Denise
Jo, Facilitator
I am terrified and going down many dark roads at the moment. i want someone to take this away and tell me that it’s not going to kill me. i see sickness and pain, and am very low.diagnosed on monday, and the world seems very distorted. sorry guys.
Hi Denise,
So very sorry this is happening to you and you are having such a hard time at the moment… It is so very hard in the beginning and everything you are feeling is totally normal…You will find lots of help and support on here, the other ladies are very supportive and knowledgeable. we have been where you are now and know exactly how you are feeling…Things will get a lot clearer for you once you have seen the surgeon and The best thing is to take one step at a time and deal with each step as it happens… Please come on here and vent all your feelings as it can really help, even ask questions, there will always be someone here who can help. I am 39 and was diagnosed in Feb and have had all my treatment and am now finished and back to work… All this is do-able and I have come out the other side. there are people here to help you every step of the way.
Best wishes and gentle hugs
Fiona xxx
Hi Denise,
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good support. While you are waiting for your fellow forum users to reply I’ve put for you below links to 2 of BCC’s publications that may help. The resource pack is an A5 binder full of information to help you better understand your diagnosis. To order a free copy just follow the link below and one will be posted out to you. The second publication is a leaflet you can download on line which explains all about BC treatments. If you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence then please do phone the helpline here, the staff are here to support you. Calls to the helpline are free (as are all BCC publications and services) telephone 0808 800 6000 lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2
Resource Pack: breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82/
Treating Breast Cancer
I hope this helps. Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator
Denise
Fiona is right, you will find this site invaluable. You can voice all your fears without upsetting anyone, as we know what you are going through. You will have so many questions and here is the place to get the answers. The strange thing is that after the initial shock, you will sort of get used to the idea and you will be then able to cope with each step as it occurs.
Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.
Ann x
Denise
I feel your pain and I have been there only a short while ago.Maybe I’m still there. Lean on us honey, we can not change anything or take away your pain but we can listen and understand, maybe advise or share our experiences.
Can I suggest - make your BCN work for you! I ddidn’t and now realise that because I presented as capable i fooled her into not making any effort at all for me. These people are paid, and want to help, even if they sometimes get it wrong. Some of the women who adjust best are those who really figure out how to use the BCN resource.
Love to you
Jane x
Hi
Boy do I remember where you are just now. I’m coming up for my diagnosis anniversary, 16 December. I had surgery on Christmas Eve 2008. Lovely! I’m really only going to repeat what the others have said now.
It is the scariest, bleakest, darkest, wierdest time of your life. Particularly this first few weeks. And yet you will come through. You can’t imagine how you will, but you will. Ann said it, it’s really strange, but give it time and you get used to the idea and find a way of coping. I like to think it’s because we are women, and women are the strongest things on the planet. 
Let your feelings run the way they have to, let your thoughts go to the dark side, but pull yourself back before you head over that canyon edge. Nothing you feel or think right now is wrong, no matter how odd it seems to you. You are processing the biggest shock of your life. Let it happen. And take this one step at a time. The immensity of what this can mean, even if you are in a low risk category, is just too much to take on all at once. You’ve been diagnosed - Step 1. Let that sink in. Step 2? Surgery? Let that process through. If you want to go reading round the forum - it can be scary. Breathe and take your own situation each day that comes.
More than happy if you want to PM. This site has been a life line for me this last year, and I have made wonderful friends. Like Jane and Fiona say, download here. We’ve all been there, we’ll get you through.
I’ve done surgery, chemo, rads, gone bald, and am now on tamoxifen. It’s a pain in the butt, but it’s totally do-able.
Carole
x
Hi, I was only diagnosed in October, had 2 ops, and just started chemo and to be honest I still don’t think that it has fully sunk in. But I try to see all of what I have been through as a positive. I feel lucky that it was caught, lucky to have had my ops so soon, lucky to have the treatment so soon, and lucky to have found this site, where everyone is so supportive.
You’ve been diagnosed which in itself is a positive, coz now they can start your treatment.
It is scary, but you can get through it.
I agree with Jane and use your breast care nurse. I read the literature and wrote down all my questions, including the how bad is it really, and then spent over an hour with my breast care nurse going through everything, which helped me.
I wish you well, and try to keep strong.
Jo x
Hello Jo I am in the same position as you. I am seeing my surgeon on MOnday at East Surrey Hosp in Redhill. I have no idea what will happen, I have not been given any sort of counselling or advice by anyone, and one minute Im crying the next busy cleaning the kitchen floor incase it gets filthy before Xmas! I dont know what to hope for. I hve stage 1 cancer and thats all I know. I suffered a horrifically painful biopsy 2 weeks ago they punched a hole 4 times! 2 lots of local painkiller didnt help much, and I went home black and blue. I am extremely small boobed and the lump is big in comparison so heaven help me. I feel as if my boobs have come back to hate me! I am not looking forward to Xmas and dread the thought of a mastectomy. I have a husband and two grown up students so they will have to just do everything in the holidays. I do feel for you, its just too difficult to be positive just yet isnt it? My friends all know and I feel like its a nice juicy story for them to tell everyone, even though I know they mean well. So, am so glad I am not the only one with this horror story to read, and please keep going, there must be lots of us out there.
Hi Denise
I was diagnosed on 22Nd of October and like you I found the biopsy incredibly pain full.
The day I went was to have a lump checked on my left breast that turned out to be no concern to them, but the mammogram picked up something abnormal on my right breast I was told there and then it was BC, I was meant to go that day as the tumour was so deep that it would have been sometime before i would have felt it myself.at that point I could never imagine getting my head to the following day.I have since had a WLE AND SNB and due to start my treatment in the next week or so. Its such a shock at first but you will find so much support on this forum, you hang in there I will say one thing just take one day at a time,we all understand how you feel.
Hugs to
you.
Wendy XxX
Hi Denise, It was a year ago when I was DX. It is a very hard and horrible time for you, try and focus on one day at a time and once you know the treatment plan,things will seem easier
best wishes
Leadie
Hi Denise
It is a terrible time for you but, I promise, it will get easier to deal with. I was diagnosed in Sept and have had lumpectomy and lymph node cleasance. I had my second chemo on Fri. Though it is tough, it is do-able and a case of taking each day, and each proceedure as it comes. This site in invaluable for advice and support.
Take care
Julia xx
Found this site and feel it is a very positive place to help. I’m newly diagnosed and totally shocked. To make things worse I’m a medic and therefore am now going through all this in my own hospital with my own colleagues. I have found the whole experience overwhelming; the speed, the information, the whole package. The nurses seem phased by me as they think I am an expert in breast cancer when infact I have very little knowledge of BC and at the moment I am scared by looking anything up. The psychological support has been low, I found this site myself. I am 44yrs stage 2 grade 3. Originally I was told it was attached to my chest wall (at which point I was looking up MacMillan units and in a dark tunnel) but I have just had a WLE (found to NOT be attached to wall) and sentinel node biopsy. Margins clear but micro disease in 2/6 nodes. So I am now scheduled for an axillary clearance, then chemo and radiotherapy and I expect anti-oestrogen therapy. My life has stopped, three weeks ago I was oblivious and working as hospital doc, now I am the patient and feel I have absolutely no control over my destiny. I would really appreciate any support from those who have gone through treatment as well as those at the same stage. Sal
Hi Denise, I remember well the feeeling yu have expressed so clearly about being scared and overwhellmed by it all. I was in my late 30s when I was diagnosed with 2 kids aged 7 and 14. I was so scared. Well I am still here and am now approeaching 60 years of age! This site is the place to come to get support and share your worries without fear. We KNOW how you feel, and are there to listen to you. Some of us are even on the forum in the wee small hours. So log on and keep in touch to let us know how things are. Love Val
Hi Denise…I’m there with you, yes, I’m scared but I can’t do anything about it except go with the flow so I’m keeping positive…I don’t know all the jargon but I’m booked for surgery on friday 11th, lump removal with breast reduction…cos it’s in the bigger breast…lymph nodes removed…then 5 weeks of rad theraphy…I have read so much stuff on here it gets confusing, so I’m just playing it as it goes along…
Keep positive…were all here together…xxxxxx
Sal
I know exactly what you mean about thinking you are a normal, fit person one minute and then a patient the next. It all happens so quickly and is a tremendous shock. I can assure you that, in time, you will adjust to the idea and begin to cope, just as you cope with all other problems in your life.
You will get a huge amount of support on this site. PM me if you wish. I was diagnosed in August, WLE and SNB in September, now on Letrizole and due to start radiotherapy tomorrow.
Good luck to you and Denise.
Ann x
hi sal and denise, wow i know only too wel what you are going through and feeling i was diagnosed on 25th nov and had snb and wle last tues. ive only just been brave enough to look at the scars and while bigger than i thought they would be unfortunately a necessary evil! im trying to stay calm( not really sucessfully)ive got my follow up at the clinic this wed for results and treatment plan. i went to the mcmillan centre at our local hosp(trafford general) only to burst into tears as i stepped in the door, the lady was really helpful and has referred me for councelling and theraputic classes(yoga/reiki etc) which if im honest i will embrace with open arms as i feel i need to calm down and de stress if at all poss. got a load of dietry info which at first glance means eats nowt but green leaves and berries and organic but im sure when i read it more thoughally it will make more sense.
sue
Dear Sal,The shock of dx is terrible and to me it was one of the worse experiences of my life. The helplessness of it all is overwhelming. But once you get over the initial shock,you can begin to take control of your life again. There are lots of things that you can do for yourself and I found this really helpful to help calm the fears!!
Firstly I got a pack from the Bristol Cancer centre, they send out a free pack with dietery advice, a CD for meditation a loads of information and other advice. I found the meditation invaluable to calm myself and get in touch with my body and slow everything down. When I got very panicky I would put the tape on and begin to relax.
Anything that can help you destress is really important, after all feeling panicky and scared is not helpful to you at this moment in time!!
Try and take one day at a time and really focus on the here and now.
I’m a year from dx and it does get easier once you know your treatment plan.
Best wishes
Leadie
Dear Sal
This must be truly awful for you. I’m a nurse and was diagnosed in Sept. I too have grade 3 stage 2 and have had WLE and lymph node clearance. I’ve just had my second chemo and am lucky enough to not have any side effects, except hair loss of course. I work in the community so dont know anyone at my hospital (Royal Marsden). I too knew very little about BC but how that has changed! It is good that you are hormone sensitive, as am I. This site is so invaluable and I dont know how I would have coped without it. I was also linked up by BCC to a mentor, who is also a nurse with a similar diagnosis. She has been clear for 8 yrs now and it was great to talk to her.
I’m 42, by the way.
Please feel free to pm me if you like, or I will catch up with you on the forums.
Take care
Julia xx
Thank you so much for all your positive vibes, its so nice not to feel so alone. I wish all good luck with results and upcoming surgery/treatment. Today I examined THE breast for the first time (10 days post op), not the best idea OMG lump at one end of scar. So off I trot (more of a gallop) to see super doc to be told to STOP examining myself!! I have now become a paranoid patient. Then thought I should make contact with chemo nurse as i have heard nothing, came away with a list of side effects and instructions to buy nail polish!!! Still haven’t seen the oncologist but the nurse told me I will have FEC T and the T makes your nails go a brown colour. Apparently the nail polish reduces this due to reducing sunlight. Not sure what to make of that. Feel I have now become manic, this must be my way of trying to regain control I guess, these emotions are wild…
Sal