I am new here and may ramble on given my current state of mind, hereby I apologise in advance. Lump found on Xmas Eve, screened last week, GP thought Fibroadenoma, but wanted to be sure.
Mammo not clear due to my age (38 - tissue too dense) US showed lump which despite feeling smooth and benign to the Consultant was actually irregular in shape. Measuring about 1cm. Core biopsy taken and FNA of another area close to it. I asked if it could still be benign and she said “yes” but said she had a nagging suspicion about it.
I have been in a constant state of angst for what seems like the longest week of my life.
Results tomorrow.
Feeling sick and fearful. Just keep looking at my gorgeous 3 year old girl and wondering what lies ahead.
Trying to keep busy and find some positive thoughts but it is very difficult indeed.
I know so many of you are going through similar and I take comfort from the supportive words I have read from the other posts.
My Thoughts with all of you in this wierd place right now.
Hi Jules,
I’m so sorry that you’ve had to join our club but you’ve come to the right place. You’ll get lots of support and information from everyone here. 
I really do think that the waiting is just about the hardest part of all this, because you are in limbo land and I think it is so much more scary not knowing one way or the other. I went through all of this in Sept/Oct last year before having the news we all dread and I really didn’t sleep very well at all just from worrying about all the possible outcomes.
I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.
Nymeria x
Jules, the very best of luck tomorrow - I really and truly hope that the lump is benign xxx
If not, you have found the right place to come to ask questions, fret, rant, and even laugh, though I know that sounds a ridiculous notion right now. Waiting is the absolute hardest part - the not knowing and uncertainty is just indescribably painful - everyone of us on here understands completely how you feel at the moment. Once you have a diagnosis, and an idea of upcoming treatment (if any), you will start to feel a lot better - no matter what the news.
Hold on tight, breathe deep, and come back and let us know how you get on?
Sophie xx
Hi Jules and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the valuable support you have here please feel free to call our helpline for further support on 0808 800 6000, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.
Take care
Lucy
Oh dear, poor Jules. But you haven’t necessarily joined the club, just filled in the application form. With luck you’ll be rejected for membership and can screw up the application form and chuck it in the bin when you get good results tomorrow! Well that’s what I’m hoping for, anyhow.
There are breast lumps that turn out to be non-cancerous and needing no treatment. I had a core biopsy recently on a lump that an MRI scan showed as “suspicious” and needing further investigation, and it turned out to be a normal change in breast tissue - the relief was immense and I dissolved into tears when I got the clear message on that one. I’m 48 but also have breast tissue that didn’t show up very well on the mammogram, so I appreciate your concerns.
We’re all with you, that waiting for results period is completely the pits, and we all know what you feel like because we’ve all been there too.
Please come back and let us know how you get on, I’d love you to be able to chuck that application form in the bin!
Hi all,
Thanks so much for your kind and supportive words it is a comfort.
Deep breaths and bach rescue for this morning! Followed by a large lunchtime G&T whatever the outcome!
If I do have to join this club then it seems like I couldn’t be in a better one. You are remarkable people.
Lots of love
Jules.
hi Jules,
Will be thinking of you today & hope that the news is good.
Much Love
Sarah.xxx
Hi Jules
The very best of luck for today, we’re all hoping it’s ok for you. xx
Fingers crossed that you can screw the application form up, Jules.
That was a wonderful analogy, Choccie
fingers crossed… and thinkng of you x
Hi all,
Well this was the longest day. Unfortunately I am joining your club. The lump is not benign and I have more than one area of concern in the same breast so am facing a Mast on that breast, followed by chemo, and maybe radio and maybe ongoing drugs for 5 years dependent on whether it is hormone receptive or not.
Good news is that lymph nodes appear ok from the US today but had one biopsied so further waiting…
Surgery probably on 27th then the rest to follow according to the actual findings when they remove the affected tissue.
I have to say I have this wierd sense of relief as you all described, just knowing whats going on and where I am heading.
I feel strangely positive - maybe denial but doesn’t really feel that way?? I am sure I am due for a rollar coaster of emotions but can’t be any worse than the last week. Just need some time for it to sink in and then the job of telling others. Mmmm, Not looking forward to that one. My closest ones know already and have been fantastic today.
Hope all you other lovelies are doing ok.
Thanks again for your support today.
Much love.
Jules x
Oh Jules, I’m so sorry. We’re here for the emotional support. Advice that has been freely offered all over this site is to take care with googling, as there’s a lot of out-of-date or just wrong information out there, and you don’t need to scare yourself stupid.
As for when to tell people, you can do that at your own pace. I found that I had to get my own head round it before I was ready to tell anyone, and you may well find as I did that the wait for surgery is just surreal, as you feel perfectly fine. Just take your time, there’s no hurry.
Some practical things you can do, when you feel ready for it.
Make sure you have tissues handy. These emotions sneak up on you and you may burst into tears in the strangest places. But THAT’S OK.
Do you have critical life cover? Some of the ladies on here have that, maybe with work, and have found it very useful. Not to worry if not, many others don’t. But if yes, you may be able to make a claim and get some money that will help with the practicalities.
Add your breast care nurse’s number to your phone.
Get hold of a little notebook so you can write down any questions you think of that you want answers to. THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS. Take all the time you need when you see your consultant to ask all the questions, you have a right to their time. Depends on you really, but you might also want to have someone with you to make notes, though not everyone wants that (I preferred to go on my own, so do whatever’s best for you.) You can probably have your breast care nurse (BCN) in there too, and she’ll talk you through what’s been said.
If you happen to be at your GP’s for any reason, ask about the prescription charge exemption form. The doctor’s surgery should have one and can fill it in, you just have to sign it and post it off.
That’s all I can think of at the moment, other than accept all the virtual hugs you’ll get from everyone on here, and I’m sure you’ll get hugs from those around you too.
CM
xxx
Choccie is right, it’s often better to know than not to know, even when the news is not good. She’s also right about investing in tissues. Even the calmest person gets the odd wobble, so cry when you need to and don’t be ashamed of it. Accept help and friendship when it’s offered.
Choccie’s also right that there are no stupid questions. Your BCN will probably be able to answer most of them, and you can find lots more here.
But be prepared to hurry up and wait at every stage of this and that the waiting doesn’t seem to get easier, but once you have some proposed dates and can start organising, this may help.
Hugs,
Cheryl
Jules so sorry you joining us but as you say once you know and you get a treatment plan it does feel like some relief that something is getting done . Just remember to take baby steps at a time and concentrate on one stage of treatment at a time . My BC nurse also said to me its the way you tell people aswell , if you are quite postive and upbeat then their reaction to it will be aswell ,treatments have come amazingly now and you can be assured you will have gold-star treatment .It will go over quicker than you think i was Dx March 19th and started chemo May and finished all rads 1st nov but cannot believe how quick this year has gone over .I have been relatively well throughout it all apart from more tiredness and nausea in the 1st week after chemo but their is some fab medicines out there to counteract any side effects everyone is different and reacts differently but it is all do-able .Message me anytime or look at page 2 on starting my pink road of chemo thread there is some great tips there for getting through all this , and you will xxxxx big hugs Julie you get remember to carry your tissues ,mascara and lippy in youre bag ,great for touch-ups after a wobble ha ha
Sorry to hear of your news today Jules. No-one wants to join this club but as previously said its the best place for support and answers. The shock of the diagnosis it unreal and you go to a place that you havent been to before. There are a lot of appointments and in between normality (whatever that is) sets in. I had my lumpetcomy in November and am also on 5 years of Tamoxofin. Just awaiting a slot for my rads. Did you get some breast cancer care leaflets, which I wasnt interested in to start with but as my journey unfolded found them very useful. We are all here for you and can totally empathise where you are at. Also a good website for information, products and support is Penny Brohn in Bristol. Sending you positive thoughts. xx
hi jules xxx I was also dx with virtually the same as you i have grade2/3 multi focal right breast , hormone positive they have already tested my lymph nodes and they came back positive. I am having my mastectomy on the 17th of jan followed by chemo radio and hormone treatment. I am 34 years old with two children who are 13 and 11 both girls . Also they thought it was an infection to start off with i was dx on the 18th nov so i can understand the pain in the ass of waiting around for results, waiting is the hardest i feel alot better now i have something solid to work to a good treatment plan xxx But at the same time i have also been all over the place one minute im having the time of my life as if nothing is wrong and then in a blink of the eye im blarting into my dinner lol its completely normal to feel this way, this support group has actually been one of the best things i have ever done and has shown me that yes breast cancer is shitty and noone wants to be in the bc club but you will get through it ok xxx I understand where you are coming from i was in the same place as you 2 months ago what i will say is that you will get excellent support and advice from this site and if you just wanna scream and moan thats ok too xxx Feel free to pm if you want a chat xx
Penny xx
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Hi Jules - big cyber hug coming your way. That’s crappy news, so sorry - but hey, welcome along!
I queried on here if I was ‘normal’ for not feeling absolutely devastated at the news, and for managing to continue to function fine, in work next day, and worked right up until my mx - honestly thought maybe the op would make me fall apart - but I think I’ve only had one proper wail, other than that I’ve been fine - there is NO normal way to react! Maybe I’m still in denial!
I had a left mx and the op was very much easier than I could have imagined - in fact, all of the tretment has been much more bearable than the waiting around for appointments to start with - but once they start to roll in, well, got a good calendar?!! You’ll need one to keep track!
Ask anything - pm me if you want to ask anything privately, that’s fine - but be reassured that someone on here will pretty much always know what you’re going through/feeling or can advise you on where to look for answers.
Take care honey, hope to talk soon
Sophie xx
Hi, well thank you again, all of you, for your kind and very reassuring words. I do take strength from them.
I feel a bit odd today. I am alone in the house but am going to go to work in my own time and then tell them whats going on. They are a great bunch too, so I will be fine with that.
I kind of feel this is the beggining of my new life, which I know will present challenges but I am up for it.
I feel teary too, at times and will let that out as and when. I can relate to the ups and downs of emotion already and will have to learn to deal with it - tissues at the ready.
Sending out positive thoughts to all of you in this pants situation!
love
Jules.
Im also sorry you are hear and wishing you all the best that you can hope for.