Hi MSMOLLY, I too would miss your impute to the forum. I do hope that you will continue to stay. There are lots of things I love about this site which is relatively new to me. But there are things that I don’t agree about too. Earlier someone said about the length of time ladies survive with bone mets. As you are probably sick of me saying…I have been having treatment for bone mets since 1999.When I had 10years clear and was back to work I was devasted to know that all this time the cancer had been running rife through my body and when I asked what the prognosis was, was told by an Oncologist that I had 50% chance of surviving 2 years. I feel I have in a way wasted some of my life thinking I was going to die soon. I wish I had known someone who had mets in bones at that time but knew no-one. This was different when first dianosed in 1989. AS I had acess to lots of young women who had had reconstruction done and one lovely lady even came to my house to suppport me she offered to show me her new boob and it gave me the courage to go ahead with the reconstruction at the same time as my mastectomy. I think there has been a serious lack of support for women with secondaries and only this year the WGH in Edinburgh a breast care nurse has taken on the job of dealing with patients with secondaries. This has been long overdue. LOL Scottish lass XX
I forgot to add that I am just away to have a six day break right next to the beach in Scotland and about 45minutes from home. So won’t be on the forum for a while. Will miss all you messages. I am so lucky to be here. For me life has been good and I never thought it would be able to say that again. LOL to all, from Scottish lass
msmolly
I hope you’ll reconsider your decision.
I value your posts enormously; even tho’ I don’t always agree with them, I enjoy them and believe them to be intelligent and well-reasoned.
These forums would be a much poorer place without you (and JaneRA, debsincornwall and belinda, to name but a few that spring readily to mind) providing your thoughtful - and thought provoking - comments.
Rants are good. This is an excellent thread.
X
S
scottishlass have a great break…hope the weather’s good…x
Hi Bahons2…I agree rants are good, cleansing…I’m hoping this thread is not eventually closed…x
msmolly,please stay
i too have been following this thread with interest. i like it because it is real, open and honest.
i just wanted to say to MSMOLLY - please don’t leave the forums. i have always been interested in your well informed and honest postings. you tell it like it is msmolly and i personally have a lot of respect for you, your voice here will be missed.
I wanted to add that this particular thread and posters from it on my tamoxifen thread have really made me think and reconsider- I really appreciate that and hope that you will all stick around on here xxxxchipperxxx
Msmolly, your voice is strong on thesee forums which is exactly what’s needed. Too many of us value your views, so you can’t go!
I too would miss Ms Molly’s well-informed and researched views. I looked at the other thread and don’t understand why it was closed? Ms Molly, pointed out quite rightly, as did others, that whether someone is sick through chemo is not down to being stoical or positive, but down to good luck and as Jane said, anti-emetics. I am lucky enough not to have had chemo, but watched my two year old go through several months worth. Sometimes he was sick, mostly not. He was on very good anti-emetics (IV so very effective) so it was the medication, not his attitude which stopped him being sick. Small children have no idea about attitude and just deal with things as they arise. He got through his cancer because the treatment was effective, not because he was positive or brave, just bloody lucky.
MsMolly, we need people like you whose views are trustworthy and based on fact
A healthy dose of realism is sorely needed in bc world. Both in secondary and primary bc. I dread ‘puke october’ as not only is it the bc aspect of it that grates on me but the anniversary of my dad’s sudden death last year so I certainly won’t be having pink tea parties and being happy, smiling, ‘inspirational’ (another word from the brave stable that is ridiculous). mrs molly, jane RA et al jolt us out of our comfort zone and show us the true horrors of bc and its treatment.The lack of effective pain control, the poor hospice provision in certain areas of the country and the side effects of treatments that are not spoken about.I hope more of us can be this honest and unafraid to tell it as it is.
Rachy
Hi to all
I have read this thread in full which is quite unusual for me as I often skip through long threads but this one is very thought provoking with lots of valid points being aired [and apologised for far too often, you all have every right to feel the way you do].
I am 2 years post primary dx and so far all is well, i am on tamoxifen and intend to stay on it for the duration. I try very hard to believe that this whole episode will be an isolated incident as I am constantly being told but if I am honest I don’t think it will be but that is in the future so for now I am happy to live and love with all my heart.
My reason for posting is to confess to something I find myself doing more and more often in the hope that someone will take notice and realise how damaging the whole “sexy” image of BC is. If I find myself telling someone about my DX I only ever say cancer because it is then taken more seriously and if I have to “admit” that it is BC you can see the physical change in peoples face with “oh not that bad then” written all over it.
I find all the pink stuff very uncomfortable especially pink October but do think that stuff that raises our self esteem back to where it was before the disaster that breast cancer wreaks on our lives is a good thing and a bit of fashion show pampering would certainly tick this box for me.
I am running a 10k in September as a personal challenge to return to the level of fitness I used to enjoy but it is for CRUK so no need to wear my bra on the outside of my BLUE t-shirt. However if I crack 2 hours as is my goal I may feel the need to wear my knickers on the outside of my trousers as I will consider myself super woman [for 5 minutes until I sieze up completely anyway!!]
AJxxx
Hi everyone
AJ - good luck with the run. Like you, although I detest the pink image around this disease and find it insulting (as I’ve said before), I too agree that raising self esteem (and sticking a finger up at BC along the way) is a good thing. God knows, ‘coming through’ this disease is bloody tough and it’s worth celebrating and I’d support anyone with the guts to do that when they’re doing it for the reasons that Mazaroo clearly is, for herself and her family and I wish her every success and hope you get a huge buzz from it Maz.
The people who take part in these events genuinely want to raise money for BC so the intention is good (like the ‘comedy’ and lighthearted events surrounding charities like, for instance, Children in Need (another serious charity) etc - no-one knocks them! The difference is of course that Children in Need etc have got the balance right and no-one is sterotyped or labelled (ie, you wouldn’t see people who had suffered child abuse etc running around in identifiable T shirts - that would be considered hugely insulting and robbing them of dignity). That’s what I object to the most, I’m/we are all associated with all the ‘pink froth stuff’ whether we like it or not and if we want to take part in fund raising activities, we are supposed to dress up in pink puke - sorry but it is, so that everyone can have a jolly good laugh on us.
OK, that’s enough, I’m rantambling (ranting and rambling!). Lots of love to everyone here. Cathy x
Hi everyone,
I dont think the lady meant to be detrimental to anyone abouther comment staying positive to aid the sickness,I believe what she was trying to say is staying positive helps get thru chemo,not cure cancer.We are all waiting for the magic tablet arent we! I live in hope so that we can all be cured and if raising awareness and immense amounts of money means branding breast cancer with pink then who cares quite frankly.I must admit when i saw some f/b pics recently of shop assistants making the most out of the ‘pink’ days to raise money for bc I felt slightly un nerved at how they 'tarted up the occasion for fun,i wondered if they thought about the reasons y they were dressed up that way??Just my own personal opinion.I do a lot of fund raising all my daughters wore pink wigs to support me during my sponsored headshave…not to trivialise or mock,just to raise money for a local bc charity,and support mommy.
take care all
sharon xx
I agree with the positive thinking attitude and look at the cup being half full rather than half empty. Surely raising the awareness of breast cancer cannot be a bad thing. I was dx with a second primary cancer in March this year. Both prior to my last dx and since then I have never viewed the pink funding raising as an insult. In fact I am pleased that people are taking their time and using some imagination to raise much needed funds for this dreaded disease whether it be wearing joke bras or running simultaneously in pink. Shortly after my dx I went to watch my daughter and other family members run the race for life all wearing the pink t shirts. They raised 3000 pounds - is that bad - I think not!
My mother died of the disease 20 years ago so am not new to breast cancer and am more than aware of what can happen if left to get out of control.
Since my dx I have openly discussed my breast cancer with both women and men in a positive attitude with a view to raising awareness for breast cancer. If their response is to do a funding raising event wearing pink or buying a pink ribbon then surely it is one small step to finding a cure for breast cancer.
Hi Smallstar, thank you and everybody else with a brain’s messages of support. It was obvious to everybody who read my posting properly on the now closed thread that my positivity was referring to helping me to get through chemo., which I still stand by. If I could cure cancer with my positivity, then none of would be on here, and I’d be sitting in a mansion.
If my consultant (top surgeon in London - with all the awards to prove it) tells me that a positive approach goes a long way to getting people through our nightmare, then that’s good enough for me. I rank his expertise and experience over others on this site.
Also, I too can see nothing wrong with people’s efforts - in every shape and form - in their attempt to raise money for breast cancer. Good on them, and a big thank you to all concerned!!!
So, I’m sending my best wishes to you and all of us for recovery of this bastard disease, and positive thoughts - 'cos I have powers in this dont’y’know?!?!
xxJacqxx
Hi Smallstar, thank you and everybody else with a brain’s messages of support. It was obvious to everybody who read my posting properly on the now closed thread that my positivity was referring to helping me to get through chemo., which I still stand by. If I could cure cancer with my positivity, then none of would be on here, and I’d be sitting in a mansion.
If my consultant (top surgeon in London - with all the awards to prove it) tells me that a positive approach goes a long way to getting people through our nightmare, then that’s good enough for me. I rank his expertise and experience over others on this site.
Also, I too can see nothing wrong with people’s efforts - in every shape and form - in their attempt to raise money for breast cancer. Good on them, and a big thank you to all concerned!!!
So, I’m sending my best wishes to you and all of us for recovery of this bastard disease, and positive thoughts - 'cos I have powers in this dont’y’know?!?!
xxJacqxx
Wow, they loved it so much, they sent it twice for me!
Thanks for your thoughts and views too, vickyk.(Your posting didn’t show up before I added my last comments.) I totally agree with everything you say. xxJacqxx
This is the second time I have tried to post to this site before my computer has booted me out. So try again. I also agree with the positive attitude and thinking towards surviving chemo. For a brief while after my dx in March I smoldered in the doldrums spending time working out my survival stats and recurrence stats. I then realised I was wasting my good days and that no-one is privy to their overall fate. Since then I have spent my recuperation by walking 4-7 miles daily and drinking loads of water (this helps with the chemo) and as such have made a remarkable recovery from the extensive surgery (bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction on both sides) and have coped well with the chemo side effects. I still have another two cycles of chemo to work through - but with positive thinking and support from family and friends I will get through it. I do think the anticipation of chemo is more scary than the actual treatment itself. My hospital were so good in advising on the side effects and how to deal with them that I have suffered very little. I also took advantage of the complimentary therapies the hospital offers and now enjoy a weekly reflexology and indian head massage!