I was diagnosed with breast cancer exactly 5 years ago. All day I have been an emotional wreck. I am unsure how I feel. I cry at the most silly thing. I know I should be happy but I’m not. I suppose for the past 5 years, all I did was looking to reach my 5 year goal.
All I want to do is go to bed and sleep and wake up tomorrow as a new day.
My 5 year oncology review appointment is next year and I hope everything will be ok.
Is it normal to feel confused on this very meaningful day?
Sorry to ramble but it has been a very strained day.
Congratulations. What r u doing now? Cannot see any more words.
Love Andrea xx
I’m sure it’s normal to feel that way. I just had my birthday yesterday and was a pretty emotional the night before as all year I had it in my head that if I made it to my Birthday there was hope or something like that. Sometimes it’s really easy to think that we’re daft but even the risk of cancer is one of the hardest things a person can have to live with so don’t beat yourself up for being human.
And tomorrow is always a new day.
And finally… yes congratulations are in order.
Angie
I felt very odd myself, a bit of an anticlimax. Everyone else has forgotten the significance but for me it is very significant. My anniversary was on 5 Dec - the anniversary of my diagnosis in 2003. It came and went but I don’t feel sure the cancer has gone, and it robbed me of ambition. I would love to give up work if I could afford it, especially as our jobs are at the moment on the line as my organisation is being wound up and work transferred to a new organisation in which I feel I will be a cog in a wheel.
I don’t want to write myself off at 53 but cancer made me realise the futility of it all. That sounds so depressing. I came back from India on 3 Dec so maybe this added to my feelings of sadness as people there were being murdered by terrorists who gave no inkling about why they were gunning people down.
I really will have to make more effort to be cheerful, but I think my anniversary has contributed somewhat to my feelings of gloom, despite the fact I have survived.
Mole
Thank you all for your posts. I felt so down and sad on Wednesday. But now I feel more up beat and more positive and look forward to the future with a much better outlook. Thank you for your wise words of wisdom. I know I’m not the only one out there with those feelings. Hope you are all doing well and have a lovely Christmas.
Love, Gogogadget X
I haven’t been on this site for ages and felt the need to today as tomorrow, Christmas Eve, is the anniversary of my diagnosis five years ago. Christmas ever since has always been a bitter sweet time and five years seemed such a long way off back then, I was given five year survival odds at the time so I suppose that is why 5 years seemed so significant. As has already been said I don’t quite know how to feel, whether to celebrate and raise a glass (with fingers firmly crossed behind my back) - I don’t know.
However, two grandchildren have arrived during the last five years so there is certainly a great deal to be thankful for and to celebrate.
With best wishes to everyone for Christmas and the New Year.
Pisces
Just got my last pack of Tamoxifen - discharged from consultant last Oct. It really hit me, that this last “prop” is going. But I really want to know how I will feel physically when it’s out of my system, so it’s a two way thing. The tears were there, and the fear remains - every ache and pain could be something else…BUT on the whole, it’s OK.
I’d go for the glass (or two!) About to pour one now- here’s to you all, my lovely friends - a happy and healthy (fingers firmly crossed) new year!
Jillie xxxxxx
So many of us diagnosed 5 years ago at Christmas! Me too, I was rushed to hospital and diagnosed with both bone mets and breast cancer. Feeling SO much better now than I did then…surprised but so glad, happy, grateful to still be here. Happy New Year…x
It’s my 1st year anniversary tomorrow-2nd Jan and I’m at the hospital having all my treatment too!
Happy New Year to you all.
Alli x