was ok.. now falling apart

hi,
dont know if its because of the kids holidays or what but i seem to be falling apart, when i was diagnosed with liver secondarys dec 09 , i got great support on here and felt so much better and i am doing ok on herceptin and capecitabine and my tumours are shrinking, the last few days i am panicking and thinking about allsorts, i was really upset reading about lapatanib in the guardian report and seem to be just seeing negative stories everywhere i am feeling terrified again and seem to be losing my positivity , please can you restore it with some good stories
galen x

im also her 2 positive!!

Hi Galen

Sorry to hear that you are struggling just now. From what I have read, and the way I have felt myself, we all seem to have our ‘moments’, it wouldn’t be natural not to in our circumstances.

I have just read a very positive article in the Times today see link (not sure if it will work but you can give it a try:

timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article7095652.ece

I was diagnosed with secondaries last October and have just finished 6 lots of chemo and had my baseline scan today, so now the wait for the results… I showed good results after just two cycles of chemo in January so I am hoping for something positive.

The article in the Times really makes you think that they can, within the next ten years, get even better at helping us all to live with cancer rather than dying from it. I will be first in the queue to try anything new given the chance.

My children have gone back to school today and I am having to start thinking about how my life is going to be so different not going to work full time ie. retired! Quite a shock and will take some getting used to. I am full of all sorts of conflicting emotions and think that I too could quite easily lose it if not careful!!! You are not alone!

Sue xx

Thanks Susie, interesting read.

Galen, I think we all do this from time to time. I find if I relax then the bad thoughts come. It must take a lot of engery and hard work for people to cope and its not surprising we go through these fearful phases.

Sending you comforting wishes, you are not alone. x

Paula x

Hi Galen, Sorry you are feeling so down, I think we all get like this from time to time. I seem to be ok in the morning and then get fed up round about 5.00pm (weird). I have secondaries in my liver and spine and get so sick of going for the weekly treatments but on the other hand it’s better than the alternative!

Sue, the article was really interesting and I would try anything at all to prolong my life - Bring it on!!! I find that the posts on here really help, it stops me feeling isolated, so take care and lots of love to everyone. Dianne x x x

Hi Galen

I am sorry to read that you are feeling so low, please feel free to call our helpline for further support, it may help to talk things through with someone in confidence. The helpliners will also point you in the direction of more support from BCC such as live chat and peer support on 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

Hope this helps
Take care
Lucy

Dear Galen, please take comfort that you are not alone. It’s a cliche but this experience is a real roller coaster ride. Somedays you feel ‘normal’ others you don’t. The important thing is to take each day as it comes and accept that some days are rubbish! I had a terrible Easter - felt really rock bottom, then I felt better and yesterday, before my scan, was a mess again. Today I’m ‘normal’. I’ve just started reading an interesting book which was flagged in another thread: Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie Stein. I got it from Amazon. Has some interesting theories though I’ve only just started. I find a reply to any thread lifts my spirits a little.

Take care
Alison x

thank you so much for your replies, i am going to give myself a good talking to !!!

Hi Galen

Sorry you feeling so low, but I also have days/weeks like that. Think it is such a rollercoster of emotions and each day we react differently. I too am knackered, been out everyday this week keeping kids entertained, cant wait for Monday, when get some rest again.

We have our ups and downs and nobody really can understand what we are going through, except those in the same boat. Have replied to your pm too.

Take care and try to keep your chin up.

Love
Dawn
xx

Hi Galen - we certainly are all on this secondaries rollercoaster but I hope you get a few more ups and downs. Maybe have a treat to look forward to or do something that makes you feel good. All very small things but sometimes they can lift the spirits. Don’t be too harsh on yourself when you have your ‘talking to’ :wink: Also do come back on here as we are able to offer support as we are all in the same boat whereas family members and well meaning friends don’t always understand.
take care
Nicky x

YEP we all know how it feels. If we didn’t get some downs then I think we would be strange!
I have secondaries in my liver and am going through that dreadful waiting time having had an MRI on Friday, to see what is happening…I can’t tell you how anxious this makes me feel…the pits.
Anyway remember we are not alone in this, and everyones support is invaluble
Noz