Hi Ladies, I have posted on the other subject of “Do I have breast cancer” but thought it was time to post here.
I found a lump in my breast about 10 weeks ago now…cut a long story short (I have gone into it a little more on the other forum) but I was referred to BC clinic and went on Friday (Christmas eve, eve). Was just meant to be a US, but ended up having 3 US’s, Mammo, 5 vacuum assisted breast biopsies and 1 lymph node biopsy…3 hours later I left the hospital. Anyway due to Xmas I have to wait until Friday (30th) for my results.
I am fearing the worst as the consultant wasn’t optimistic, I’m taking each 24hrs as it comes at the moment as it’s all I can do.
I’m just wondering who you brought in with you for results if possible, I’m scared stiff, I want my husband there but I also want my mum there as I know she will take any information on board whereas my husband won’t. I have told my closest family members but have tried my hardest to hide it from my childen, although no hugs over the weekend due to sore boobie made that one quite hard, my eldest asking so many questions (He’s 12 and his best friends mum has BC) and far from stupid. If it is BC I have no idea what questions I need to ask, any advice greatly received? Currently I’m in Limbo…I hate this feeling of having no control, I’ve been here before as I had a Cervical Cancer scare 2 years ago and treatment but it doesn’t make it any easier except for knowing to eat this time and to try and sleep(Although 2 bottles of wine and baileys helped that yesterday)!
I’m trying so hard to stay optimistic but I’m really struggling, although family know, I don’t want to burden them with how I’m feeling, especially at Christmas, so “I’m fine” has been a favourite phrase this weekend when in fact my smiles hide a million tears.
Just needed to vent a little… :o/
Hi Emseylou
ime so sorry you have found yourself on this forum , but i just wanted to say that i know what your going through and this part of it the waiting is the worst . Your mind goes into overdrive and i know its very hard to control your emotions at this stage .What i will say Emsy is that this is a wonderful forum thats full of support help and advice that we all try and give to each other .Post on here anytime about anything and someone will always try and help you so please keep posting and i know its hard but try and stay positive ,Why dont you take your husband and your mam with you when you go for the results that way you will have plenty of support . take it from someone that was in complete deniel and went on my own for the results which looking back was very silly of me and would not recomend anyone do that.
take care Emseylou
love
Jackie xxxx
Hi Emsylou,
So sorry you are in this club no one wants to join and have had this wait all over the Christmas season when everyone else seems so happy and jolly. I agree with Itlaia, why not both o/h mum in with you, provided they’ll get on of course ;-S … You could ask your mum to take notes for you and your o/h/ to hold your hand, that way they’d both be included and have a ‘role’. I went on my own to the breast clinic (had all the tests you describe) and the very first thing my amazing siurgeon said to me was “have you come on your own or is htere someone with you” even before he took my history or started exam and tests. After my prelim diagnosis (it was a one stop shop) he and the BCN both said very stronhle “you must bring someone with you when you come for the formal results”. it is too much to take in - and if you can have two people extra to listen (and hear the positives, cos you probably won’t) that’s a good thing, so long as they won’t fall out!
Take care and hope thatonce you have a treatment plan you feel a little more in control
Just wanted to say hello, yes it is a very difficult time full of lots of different emotions, not too long until Fri now but it will feel a long time for you. I decided that I wanted to be on my own when I heard the news. My family were a little annoyed with me but I just really needed to hear it first. Always been very independent regarding myself and medical matters. That’s just me though, my Mum and good friend were outside the hospital so I did have support right there but had to go into room by myself, Mum says I’m a stubborn so and so!!! So take care and the best of luck to you on Fri xx
Ooops forgot to say “I’m fine” that’s the two words I think I use most in my vocabulary!!!
It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment. As well as the support you are receiving on here it might help to talk things through with a trained member of staff on the BCC helpline. Here you can share your feelings and concerns with someone who will offer you emotional support and practical information. The lines will be open again tomorrow from 9 to 5pm and the same times on Thursday and Friday. The number to call is 0808 800 6000.
I answered on your other thread, it really is such a difficult time this waiting and not knowing. As far as getting to know the def results, just do what you think is best for you. This is really a time when it is about you and you. If possible ask your mum and husband to come along. There is nothing wrong with this. I was on my own, had a friend in the waiting room (I was amazed she wanted to come, it was her idea not mine, I hoped the changes in my breast, would be fine, but surgeon just looked at my breast and I asked him “what do you think?” and he told me straight away his honest thoughts, that was me being told, there and then, confimred by the usual tests), husband was at work, this was OK for me, but for all other results now I take my hysband with me.
When I went for my results, I left my hubby in the waiting room whilst I went in. His mantra had been ‘it’ll be nothing, you’ll be fine’ whereas I knew deepdown what it was. He was in a worse state than I was!
The waiting is the pits. Once you know, whatever the outcome is, your head gets round it and you get on with it. One day at a time.
Hopefully you won’t join the club, but if you do, just know that there are plenty of people like me who are over the treatment and getting on with their lives. Many ladies move on after treatment and don’t visit this site too often, but they are out there enjoying life again.
Hi Ladies,
Thankyou for all your replies :0) I’m a complete shakey wreck today! I have decided if I can then I will have both my husband & mum with me tomorrow, if not just my mum as she is the level headed one. When I can stop shaking long enough I’m going to sit and write some questions down just in case.
I just keep telling myself at least tomorrow I will know what I’m facing. I have a wonderful CC friend who has given me some pointers…I just don’t want to walk out of that room with unanswered questions. I will post tomorrow, hopefully good news. Thanks again all of you xxx
All the best for tomorrow. Even if you have unanswered questions, the helpline is very good.
I understand you’re being tense, the build up to the results are quite intense.
Sorry I haven’t updated re: today but It’s been a long day!
I am joining the club…today I was diagnosed with aggressive inflammatory breast cancer, Grade 3.
I start Chemo next week (Wednesday) its too big for surgery right now,(12cm) It has spread to my lymph nodes, maybe further just have to wait for CT Scan.
If Chemo goes to plan I will have mastectomy at 3/4 months followed by radio. My nurse is fab, my doctors are fab.
In the meantime this is all I can muster and have told my nearest and dearest today including my children which is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I am currently halfway through a bottle of wine and my GP has given me some sleeping tablets if need be.
I will be here for a while longer…I apologise in advance!
Thankyou all so far but I have a way to go yet…
Emma xx
Hi Emma,
So sorry about your news. I joined the club only a few weeks ago on the 6th and Just had my wle and snb op on the 28th so I’m recovering at home.
I found telling my children was the hardest thing to. Also everyone telling you all the cliches and stay strong and be positive.
The main thing is you now know what you are dealing with and how it can be treated.
I’ve been told I’m having chemo and rads but all depends on the surgery.
Just wanted to say good luck and keep drinking the wine. I’ve just had a lovely baileys as I’m having probs sleeping too.
Love fran xx
Hugs for you (((Emma))). I was afraid it would be cancer, the way you described your breast on your very first post, you could have spoken about mine at the time of diagnosis. Now this makes me wonder if my cancer is an inflammatory one as another girl on the forum (Daisy) had the same kind of desription like you and me and she’s got imflammatory one as well. I’ll have to ask about this.
I had my second FEC now (my breast was too swollen and they couldn’t operate either, so it’s chemo first for me too) and my breast has gone a lot softer. I’m pleased to hear they start chemo with you next week, you should soon notice how your breast changing back to a more normal appearance.
All the best, we’re here for you to share your good days and bad days,
Dear EmsyLou I am sorry to read your news and just wanted to add some further support ideas and information links which you may find helpful, I don’t know how old your children are but here’s a link to the ‘Mummy s Lump’ book and also the BCC publication ‘Talking to children about breast cancer’, there is also a booklet designed for you to give to your children’s school teacher to help them to understand the needs of you and your children at this difficult time: