All very very true, life is for living, in my job I see many lives cut short for various different reasons from terminal illness to tragic accidents, I very much appreciate each day more since my DX and really seem to enjoy the little things much more also, Ive always been quirky dont walk under ladders, black cats crossing paths etc etc but as said life is too short for regrets and worrying constantly over what MAY happen live life fully as possible and the main thing is be happy
x
Hi ladies,
I don’t like the word survivor, I always say last year I had breast cancer, and I hope and pray it doesn’t come back and tell people that I drive my car everyday and to me there is more risk there. I would be lying if I said I don’t think about it everyday but I refuse to let it consume my life anymore, I have known too many people who have had their lives cut short far too young from other things, I have no idea what is going to happen in the future but whatever is in store for me I intend to enjoy it fully and be thankful for what I have. I need to keep telling myself this to keep me sane!! We are all fighters xxx
What an interesting thread!
I love NED and most of all NEDDY 
I have often wondered what the term ’ bc survivor means’ because even though i am three years down the line from DX, i am still undergoing recon surgery which quite often puts it at the forefront on my mind!
Naz xxx
I am with anyone who says they had breast cancer, positivity and thinking you are free of it even if your not is a great healer and also gives a sense of peace. Since ridding myself of this curse I have tossed and turned at night about worrying if I have cells that are mutating as I sleep. Eventually comes to a point where you have to stop this as worrying about something you have no control over makes you sick! Now I try to think that I had lived with BC for years without knowing but now I am living with it being cut out And making the most of everyday thankful that I have been given a chance to enjoy life!
This is a really interesting thread and comes at a very apt time for me. I had my final Herceptin last week and now have *just* the years of tamoxifen to get through. I certainly don’t feel ready, and doubt I ever will, to call myself a survivor. Like so many others it feels far too much like tempting fate. Each to their own, I suppose. Like the rest of this journey, everyone just has to deal with it in the way that best suits them and their situation.
Loving the Neddettes 
Well WOW ladies this question was not just bothering me then!! lol some very inspirational words on this thread I must say 
Thank you for all your comments it’s all been very uplifting!!
Kate x
Lovin this thread
I tend to say i had cemo lasr yr, as i dont feel compy saying i had bc
However , i do think im survivor of the crap i went through,cemo rads operations etc.
But the shite continues, just different types lol, going back to work, are you better now!!!, follow ups, niggles turn into panic.
The new normal xxxxx
Thanks, everyone. I understand people who think they’re over it - I think that myself really, but I know bc can come back 20 years later.
But what I don’t like about the word ‘survivor’ is that it was originally a ‘politically correct’ term for ‘victim’ or ‘sufferer’ - it’s just a thoughtless term that emphasizes this idea of me bravely battling the disease, as the newspapers put it. As if ‘battling’ would produce better results than ‘giving in’. I associate it with the pinkification - see the Guardian article Choccimuffin (sp?) linked to:
I went to see my GP about something else and he said to me ‘O you are a Breast Cancer surviver’ I was really surprised by this term as I didn’t feel I had ‘survived’ anything but on reflection I think he may be right in that I am still here I am being treated for breast cancer but as long as I am alive I have survived it - its been nearly 3 years since my DX and the longer I ‘survive’ the better! Perhaps when if I get to 20 years Dx I will really believe I have outlived this horrid nasty disease.
I was Dx 8yrs ago, I will never consider myself a ‘survivor’…my aunt was 15yrs after original DX when she had her secondary DX, she died 19yrs after her original DX .
I lie to say I’m ‘NED’ or ‘In Remmission’…though must say i too like the term ‘NEDDY’
What I never know to say is wether ‘I am a cancer paitent’ or ‘I was a cancer paitent’??
Sometimes I do kind of forget ( well not forget…but not think about it all the time)…then it worries me all over again…especially when I know my appointment for my mammogram will be her either just before or just after christmas.
I recently found myself saying “I’ve had BC”, and that past tense sneaking in rather surprised me, as it wasn’t a deliberate thing. But I wouldn’t ever call myself a “BC survivor”, as we’ve all had lots and lots of other things to contend with that fit the “survivor” word much better. You “survive” a car crash, because the car crash is over and finished, it’s time-limited, and its time is firmly in the past. Thing is, we never know whether BC is over and in the past, so how can we say we’ve survived it?
Similarly, I would never say “I’m cured”, and people get a shocked expression on their face when I say that I won’t know whether I’m cured until I die of something else, that the most I’ll say is that I’ve had surgery, chemo, radiotherapy, targetted therapy (Herceptin), I’ll be taking hormone therapy for the next 4 or 5 years and there is currently no evidence of disease, which is the best I can hope for. Kinda brings them down to earth, but I don’t want people thinking this BC stuff is a walk in the park. A colleague of my daughter said “Breast cancer’s no worse than falling off a bike.” She soon put him straight!
Chocciemuffin
I too have found myself telling people “I had breast cancer last year”. I didnt plan on saying that, it just came out that way!! But like you, I would NEVER say I’m cured. Unfortunatley breast cancer isnt like that is it? The best we can hope for is that we are free of disease TODAY. And I just take each day as it comes. As long as I feel OK, I get on with the day. Ive had exactly the same treatment as you, and Im now on Tamoxifen for another 4 years. So as long as all that treatment keeps “the wolf from the door”, that’ll do for me!!
And you are spot on with your description of being a “survivor” and the car crash scenario.
This thing is never in the past. Only the treatment is. Breast cancer is a constant for all of us.
Mandy xx
OMG Choccomuffin - that belongs in the ‘the worst things ‘non-cancer’ people say’ thread = what a complete pillock!! (thats not a censorable word is it lol ? xx
Hello all!
This post is AMAZING!
A BC Dx made me redefine my identity, and I too have never fully identified myself using the term ‘survivor’. This becomes an issue for me, especially EVERY October, where the term is so oft used during BC Awareness month and is saturated in pink… . I am pleased to realise through this post that Im not alone with the ‘BC identity mental gymnastics’!
I had BC signs evident enough for a medical diagnosis and treatment. I pray for the day when CA diseased cells can be detected early before causing such harm to so many… Since finding my lump in Novenber 2009, I live with the reality of a dreaded recurrence daily. This I find difficult, as there is no daily preventor meds yet for triple negative BC, & as its recurrence is highly aggressive in premenopausal women. However, somstarts this becomes somewhat more manageable.
This thread is helping me to solidify my identification of what it is to live with BC. To be honest, the only thing I can say i survived was getting over an initial misdiagnosis (Oh, your too young to have BC, nothing to worry about!!) to later be told I did have cancer! The rest has been rebuilding my life whilst LIVING with the realities of having been diagnosed.
Big thanks!!