What is this section for?

This section is for lesbians and bisexual women (and your friends and family) to discuss issues related to your breast cancer diagnosis, treatment and care, and other breast cancer related issues.

It has been created in response to requests from forum members, for example breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/support-for-lesbians-t27267.html

Thanks for this section, BCC – I wonder if you might do one of your “info” posts in aome of the other parts of the forum, to let users know about this new section? Many thanks.
Marilyn xx

p.s. bad spelling/typing = more edits!

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Hi both

I’m really pleased you’re happy about this new forum. To be honest, the best way of raising the profile of the new forum is to keep posting in it.

A lot of women who use the Breast Cancer Care forum go straight to “latest posts” when they log in, and if they see active discussions in this area they will know that it is an active section where their questions are likely to be answered.

It is also listed in the left hand side, under “talk to others in a similar situation” which is the clearest way of signposting it to new users.

The way the forum is set up at the moment, it isn’t very easy to highlight new areas or “posts of the week” in any very useful way.

I have flagged it up internally at Breast Cancer Care so people here know they can signpost people to this forum where appropriate. I’ll have a word with our team that communicates with healthcare professionals to see if there’s a way of highlighting with them as well.

But as I say, the best way of bringing to people’s attentions is to use it. Ask questions, start conversations and tell the people you know about it.

Thanks again for your enthusiasm and for asking us to start the section. I hope it will turn out to be a useful addition to the forum.

with best wishes

Hi Leah

Many thanks for your response. To help us reach people who might find this section useful, I’ve sent some info to Stonewall, the national LGBT support & campaigning organisation, asking them to publicise this new section of the BCC forum:

Dear friends

I’m a lesbian with advanced, incurable & terminal breast cancer (which has spread to my bones & liver) – while my oncology team at the Christie Hospital in Manchester has been completely accepting/supportive of my partner as my next of kin, we have found no specifically lesbian practical or emotional support anywhere since my primary BC diagnosis in 1997.

So I’m pleased to let you know that Breast Cancer Care (BCC), the UK’s national breast cancer support organisation, has recently set up a section on their discussion forums for lesbians & bisexual women living with breast cancer.  You can visit their forums by going to breastcancercare.org.uk and clicking on “COMMUNITY” at the top of the page, and anyone who wishes to can register as a forum user to post to the forum sections, send private messages, etc.  

You may already know that there has been some recent research into the experience of lesbians & bisexual women living with breast cancer – please let me know if you haven’t heard about this, and I’ll find the info for you.  I think that BCC has set up the new section of their discussion forum in response to the research findings.

Would it be possible for you to publicise this new support service for lesbians & bisexual women living with breast cancer?  I have asked BCC to publicise this, but it will also be good if people linked to Stonewall – via your Facebook page & Twitter feed? – are told about it.

Many thanks – just the acknowledgement that my partner & I might have different & specific needs has been helpful for us, as it will be for our sisters & their loved ones living with breast cancer.

I do hope that Stonewall and BCC will be able to work together to ensure that lesbians & bisexual women living with breast cancer get the best possible information and support.

Marilyn x


Just wanted to pop-in and bump thread up so that people realise it’s here and join in.

A brief intro to me :

Dx primary 1999, had WLE radio,chemo. DX secondary bones March 2010.

Been with my partner for 23 years had Civil ceremony in 2007,she is absolutely fantastic an incredible support and I don’t know what I’d do without her. We live in Sussex and I have treatment in London (was living there when first dx and trust them).

Not really had any problems with health staff re lesbian relationship but good to have a space here to meet and chat with others and share experiences.



Wow 23 years is some going. We speak on live chat and i know nothing about you. This is a much needed section and am glad it is getting used !

I also did not realise that you went a long time before getting mets (like me). Diagnosed in 2000, double mastectomy and recon, lung and spine mets diagnosed 2008.

Julie x

Hi Everyone, hope you don’t mind me jumping in. I’m not a lesbian but I just wanted to say that I think is a marvellous idea and I wish you all the very best of luck in the future. Like Julie, my mets took a long time to appear - liver and spine 18 years after the initial treatment.

Hope you are all well and have a happy and painfree weekend.

Lots of love, Dianne x x x

OOps! I never was much good at maths, we’ve actually been together 28 years!!!My partner said she’s going to divorce me for knocking 5 years off!

Juliet I know we talk on livechat but like you I didn’t realise the length of time between your primary & secondary dx. Dianne you were even longer! I guess like me you had both begun to believe you’d beaten the bugger & it really knocks you sideways doesn’t it!? Still, we’re here and we’re fighting and we’re going to enjoy life aren’t we.

Have a good weekend!

Love Julie x

Hi Julie, It’s me poking my nose in again, hope you don’t mind. Just saw your message and totally agree. It completely blew me away, particularly as the GP inferred that there was no hope and I’d be dead and buried within 3 months! My oh now hates him and refuses to see him. I honestly and truly believed that I’d beaten it, but there you go, it just shows you that the vicious bastard’s always lurking in the background.

Wishing you and everyone else a happy and painfree weekend. Lotsa love, Dianne x x

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I’ve added a note onto Diva Magazine’s facebook page telling them about this section of the forum & asking if they could publicise it in their mag. Not had a reply yet but hopefully a few people will see it on Facebook & might be encouraged to join us if they’re after advice.


I’ve had a response from Stonewall:

Dear Marilyn,

Many thanks for your email and the information about this forum. I am
sorry to read about your diagnosis but am pleased that you feel well
supported by the hospital staff.

I would be happy to add this to our database of support groups and
website which is available on our website;

Kind regards


Louise Kelly
Information Officer
020 7593 1889

Regards, Marilyn :female_sign::female_sign:

That’s great news, Marilyn - thanks for contacting them.
Best wishes

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How lovely to find you all out there. Thanks for the idea of this thread and making it happen; I was so delighted when I was re-looking at the site and found this newish thread. Isn’t that research interesting? I’ve had a good experience from the point of view of respect for me and my partner -might have something to do with my partner being a doc in the same trust!?
Anyway just to introduce myself I wsa diagnosed in Feb 2010, had two ops, the second a mastectomy, followed by FEC-T which I didn’t quite finish due to nerve side effects. Just waiting to start my radiotherapy and have started tamoxifen. Meanwhile we moved house two weeks before diagnosis, have had the builders in throughout the treatment, and I have lost a major contract ( am self employed) - so lots has changed. The lesbian family have been nothing short of wonderful.
cheers Nicola

Welcome Nicola,

Sorry you’ve had rough time and hope radiotherapy goes well. I found radio easy after chemo but it did make me tired.

My original dx was back in Sep/Oct 1999 and we’d just put an offer on our new house so I know what thats like - we spent Christmas in our old flat in London with me feeling rough due to chemo and most of our furniture and belongings in our new house in Sussex, it was certainly challeging!

I hope you settle in well and will be happy in your new home. Good luck with the rest of your treatment.

Julie x

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Thank you for kind welcomes. Am off to start radiotherapy today. N -sorry your op is still pending, I must say I’ve found the waiting and hanging about times worse than the getting on with treatment, so I feel for you.
best Nicola

Hi i had my mammogram 15 july,and tnen auexpected letter on the 27- july,ihad a biopsy-ultra sound on the 30-july,what a month.Then the long wait for results on the 11-aug they confirmed bc,i felt like i had been hit by a 50ton truck.Went in for op on the 6-sept,results 22nd sep the waiting the worsed.
Me and my partner had so many plans this year we were going to new york and then acruise round the carbiean as its my 50 in oct,but had 2 cancel everthing due to rads,iknow we book another hol but iwont be 50again.and to topp