I agree with Debs that this was a very poor response. I would write to the headquarters of the rail station. I would also write the man in the ticket office a letter stating how you felt at being questioned.
I think I would still get a letter stating your condition so you have something to show if you ever need it.
take care
elinda x
Yes another agreeing with Debs. A while ago a friend of mine had an awful chap ranting at her for using a disabled space at a supermarket car park. She was a valid badge holder who only had a few more months to live and had her young daughter with her at the time. She too resorted to removing her wig but was very shaken by the whole incident. Like others here I too know friends who look very well with this disease as do so many others with all kinds of illnesses. Even if we don’t all look pale, use a wheelchair or fit an identikit ‘‘ill person’’ picture this is still no reason for such intrusive and personal questions.
x
Morning
I hope you don’t mind my popping in here, but I wanted to let you know that Live Chat for women with Secondary Breast Cancer starts next Thursday 10 June at 11.30 for 1 hour.
Please follow this link
breastcancercare.chatjet.com/bcc/
which will take you directly to the live chat page.
Hope you can join us there.
Best wishes
Poppy
For some reason, people feel very threatened by those who appear to them not have a disability, having railcards, disabled parking badges etc. When my son was two we were given an orange badge as he was on chemo, having radiotherapy and very poorly. Although he had a pushchair it was really to avoid a long walk from the car in bad weather. The number of people (not officials) who queried our use of disabled bays was astonishing. Even worse when we went for a little holiday to France to cheer us up. One old harridan, pointed to the disabled sign and I pointed to the orange badge. She continued to rant son we ignored her, then she banged on the car window and then followed us into the supermarket, shouting at us in French. It was horrible as I didnt know enough French to reply. In this country, one old man (why does it always have to be the elderly?) muttered something nasty about abusing disabled parking when we got out of the car. I was so upset at my son’s condition anyway without these horrible people sticking their noses in. If they feel that we are fraudulent, why not report us to the authorities who can check?
You’re right Cathy, I really cannot understand the thought process of people who behave in this manner. Is it an over-inflated sense of entitlement? Is it excessive frustration due to the media’s constant harping about benefit dodgers? Is it that they are mean spirited? Or is it that they have nothing else better to do with their time?
I do remember a man I worked for (very briefly) who wanted a disabled parking badge on account of his asthma. He appeared fine, but I assumed there was a limitation I’d not observed and so got an application form for him. After he’d filled it in, it became clear that he just liked driving to work and was having trouble parking by our central London office so - unsurprisingly - he got turned down. I had to change jobs because any vestige of respect I might’ve felt for him was dashed by this attempt to manipulate the system for his own convenience. I can’t deny I was suspicious that he might be a t*sser, but I was very careful not to treat him like one until he proved me correct!
I hope it´s not usually the elderly Cathy , I would like to think that the more elderly people would have better manners . I´m 59 and I would´nt dream of treating anyone in that way .
My younger son who´s 36 is always ranting about people using disabled parking bays at supermarkets then getting out and leapfrogging it to the store . I have explained that it may well be a condition that is´nt apparent all of the time and he should be more generous in his thinking !
On the other hand , I do know a couple who run a nursing home , so they use a blue badge for the vehicle when they are taking the elderly ( over 75 !! ) somewhere, thats fine , but then they also use it on their private vehicles and bring it with them when they come over to Spain when they are on holiday and the parking in the summer is atrotious .
All that aside , ( I do tend to go off at tangents .) I still don´t think anyone should have the right to challenge someone on their use of any type of disabled paking , badge or ticket .Nobody wants one , everybody would love to be hale and hearty and in full health , the fact that you have a disabled badge should have been enough to get the obnoxious little man to rush around and offer to carry your bag and do something useful for a change !!
Hi Everyone. I have a blue badge and receive DLA and the number of times I have been questioned or approached just amazes me. Ages ago and old man followed me back into the library and waited to ask me if I knew I was parked in a disabled space. I told him I did. If he left it like that it would have been okay but he lost the rag and yelled at me. I did something I would not normally do …and told him exactly what was wrong with me…I have bone mets…the librarian later asked me if I was OK and told me he had already asked her if you could park in the spaces if you were not using a wheelchair and she had explained to him that yes you could…and why. But he still wouldn’t let it go. He left rather quickly and I hope my reaction will ensure that he doesn’t hassle anyone else…stupid old wa*k**…What annoys me about it is, that I try to get on with my life as normally as possible and don’t like to dwell on the fact that my life has been turned upside down with BC. I know that sometimes I don’t “look” disabled but as long as I am npot cheating anybody and have the relevant badge…I should not have to deal with this crap. My rant over…,but it happens to me too. Love Val. PS Perhaps when he asked you you could just say “Why?”
I think you’re absolutely right there Val, it must make it far worse when, rather than being a drama queen about things, you are attempting to get on with life quietly and with minimum fuss … and then you have to deal with these utter ejits who have no idea how to behave.
Debs x
Thanks Debs, I appreciate your reply. Love Val
Goodness me, Jackwagstaff - I don’t consider 59 to be elderly!!! I know what you mean - shouldn’t generalise or stereotype as all ages can be officious. I think the problem is that disabled to most equals a wheelchair. They are totally ignorant to the fact that many other conditions renders someone disabled. My mother had a blue badge for a heart conditon as she couldn’t walk very far but she didn’t need a wheelchair. This attitude is probably compounded by all disabled signs depicting a wheelchair. Oh the general public - aren’t they a delight! Thinking back to how much I put up with regarding my son, I am much more quick tempered now and would not hesistate to tell some nosey parker where to go, even in French!
Hi Everyone, hope you don’t mind my joining in. I’ve recently received DLA (liver and bone mets) and a Blue Badge for my car. I’m having weekly tax, but look perfectly healthy and I have to say I’m a nervous wreck when I’m parking in a disabled space. People stare at me because I have no obvious disability and I’m dreading the day when someone actually says something. Why oh why are people so unkind to each other these days? I am truly appalled at the fact that the man in the ticket office asked about your disability. I don’t know what I would have done as I have not lost my hair and there are no obvious signs. Years ago, when I had first lost my breast, I was travelling abroad and had a spare prosthesis in my suitcase. At the airport I was made to take it out and put it on a very long conveyor belt by itself so that they could check it out. I was mortified and ended up in tears. It was incredibly humiliating and I felt guilty as if I was doing something wrong. It was a truly horrific experience and I’ll never ever forget it. I should have reported them then but I just wanted to get away from it all. However, I’ve toughened up a bit since then and promised myself that I will never allow anyone to treat me in such a manner again. So, ladies don’t let these insensitive, rude people get to you. Take care of yourselves and I hope you are all well today. Have a good one. Lotsa love to you all, Dianne x x x
What about the answer ,
" I have a badge because I have cancer . What is your medical condition that makes you …rude …angry …ignorant ?"
Kris
Thats a very good one Kris! And it made me laugh imagining the face of the questioner!
Julie
Nice one Kris, I’ll keep that for when it happens to me again. Hope you are all well today. Lotsa love, Dianne x x
Morning all…
I’m hoping to get train to visit my daughter on 16th (did I mention I never learnt to drive?) though I have onc appt this week 
Re the “disability” question, some of you might be wondering what, if anything, I intend to do about it. I don’t want to explain all the relevant circumstances here, as this is an open forum that anyone can read. I don’t mind people knowing that I have bc, but this incident concerns another human being who possibly made a genuine mistake - there was no malice or rudeness in his question. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt… but I also want to travel by train again free from unnecessary questioning, and to make sure that others don’t have the same problem.
I live in a suburban area with good community spirit. Through a community organization (not health-related) I hope to find someone who knows the ticket issuer socially, so they can have a quiet word in his ear…
If it had been me I would have probably asked him if he was being conversational or just down right nosey. Really do we have to wear badges that state what ills us.
Snoogle
x
Mrs blue , I think you are a genuinely nice person . Perhaps we should all try to see the good in people , I truely don´t think I could have in your place , but I admire your thinking in trying to resolve the issue by getting someone within your community to “have a word in his ear .”
Do I agree ? No not really , I would prefer that he had his fortune told , but then thats me , jump first , ask questions later .
Well done you !
Kris
Mrsblue
I think you have the right attitude. I don’t have mets or DLA with special rules, although I was on DLA while I had treatment and had to sit in an open office at the job centre explaining absolutely everything that was wrong with me and why I should qualify. I have to say that I didn’t especially have a problem with this; the interviewer was considerate and understanding, if not terribly helpful (but that’s the system for you).
I believe that attitudes towards cancer have changed hugely over the past 30 or so years, back in the 60s no one even mentioned the ‘c’ word let alone admitted they had cancer. Nowadays we can talk freely and have support such as this website because some brave cancer sufferers stood up for themselves and made their wishes known about what they expected in terms of treatment from the NHS and how the world should view them.
I have heard many people complain that breast cancer is the ‘sexy’ cancer and has too much money thrown at it compared to other cancers. Why is this? Because 20 years ago 45,000 women a year decided that there were too many deaths from this disease and stood up and made a noise about it. Men need to do the same for testicular and prostate cancers, instead of pretending they don’t exist.
Mrsblue, I don’t know the full details of the question of the man at the ticket office, but was it possible that he was asking the question so that he could know how to help you? Some disabilities require more help than others, for example, ticket inspectors often help blind people onto the train and into the correct seat, or to put a ramp down for someone in a wheelchair or who can’t walk up a step. They often help just ordinary elderly people with no obvious disability.
If you felt the question was insensitive or rude, then perhaps you should speak to him about it? By making people aware of our feelings in a positive manner it helps them deal with us in a better way and to deal with other people in the future better as well. I always like to think I can stand up for myself and say if something is not right, but not in a ranting, moaning way; there is too much of that around.
Maybe the ticket inspector is a rude, insensitive jobsworth - if so, tell him to his face. If he made a genuine mistake and didn’t really think about things, then tell him - he’s likely to feel bad about it and think twice before repeating his mistake with someone else. Easier said than done, I know, particularly when we are sensitive about things ourselves. I think I would have asked why he needed to know then answered accordingly.
Hope I haven’t offended anyone with this, I haven’t explained myself very clearly.
Helen.
Can anyone tell me how much a disabled persons railcard is?
Hi Celeste, Not sure actually, but if you just type it in google, it will bring all the info up. I did it and got the info and of course I’ve completely forgotten it now!!!
Hope you are going somewhere nice and have a great time.
Lotsa love, Dianne x x x