What should I do?!?!?!?!

Hi There

I have not visited this forum in a long time and selfishly am now visiting in a time of need for me seeking some much needed advice.

My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 and with secondaries in her lungs in 2007.At the beginning of this year she was admitted to the local hospice in order to have her pain relief assessed with the hope of being discharged when things were settled again. At the time of admission she had what we all thought was a chest infection however after numerous antibiotics this failed to clear and in fact got steadily worse. We were therefore advised that it was likely that her symptoms were due to a progression of her disease rather than anything else. She remains in the hospice today some 14 weeks later as her condition has steadily got worse. She is on 2 syringe drivers administering all her medication and is also on oxygen all the time. She has amazed doctors by surviving this long as her condition is really poor. She goes through times of being really poorly to periods of stability. At present she is sleeping more than she is awake which though hard to deal with is reassuring that she is not in pain.She also has MRSA into the bargain and a lot of open sores around her breast area which cause her a lot of pain.

My dilemma is whether or not to take time out of work. My employers have been supportinve to date and have granted me paid leave which I have now used. I am therefore faced with the decision of returning to work and not being able to spend a lot of time with mum or be signed off sick by me GP. I have been going over this in my head time and time again. I think work would be hard as all I can think about is mum. Has anyone else experienced this kind of situation? What would you advise. I realise that only I can make the decision but any kind of advice would be gratefully received.

Hi

I’m so sorry to read about your Mum and your situation. In my humble opinion if I was you I would get signed off and be with your Mum. Look, work will carry on whatever happens- where are you needed most- with your Mum or at work??

I lost my own mum to this awful disease in 1994.I was in my early twenties at the time and I spent quite alot of time with my Mum then, but I wish I had spent even more time with her.

My thoughts are with you and your family. Be with your Mum. In the bigger picture, work is not important.

Lov Freddie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Freddie

I think for once I have to listen to my heart and not my head. I’m sorry to hear of your loss and I guess no matter how long ago it happened it will still give rise to a lot of raw emotion.

Like you said mum probably needs me more now than work so mum wins!!

Thanks
Anne Louise xx