What would you do in this situation?

2 years ago I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer with all its after-problems such as radiotherapy, tablets, lymphoedema, infections, sleeplessness, anxiety, etc.

It has been a dreadful 2 years regarding my health and my emotions.

This has been made worse by being accused of things I have not done. My instinct tells me I must fight to clear my name - which will be costly with solicitors fees if I should lose but common sense tells me to walk away - which I could do.

All along, my instinct to fight has been the stronger than not to because I am innocent but now I am beginning to think that maybe I should give in and walk away from the situation with my tail between my legs, so to speak.

I know this is a minor problem in comparison with some of yours but it is a very real problem to me together with trying to get over the big ‘C’. My character is at stake.

What would you do? I think I know what you are going to say!


Hi Christiane,
Well you have foughtt a life battle and got through to the other side, hardly anything could be as devestating and traumatic as this. Why on earth should you now slink away from a good life one that you have fought for?
If finances permit and emotiomally you are stong enough go for it girl!
I feel angry that apart from all this bc sh.t you have had to face false accusations. I don’t know how you coped. I for one would like to see the truth come out and the perpretrator of these lies shown up for what they are.

Hi Christiane
Totally agree with Margaret.you have coped with enough and have the damned right to clear your name and hold your head up high,but get the right advice.

Be Strong


My 1st instinct would be to fight … but depending on what the accusations are and how confident you are of being able to prove them to be false (I’m not doubting your innocence - just some things are difficult to prove) and the possibility of facing huge legal bills at the end I would have to really consider all the pros and cons.

It’s so unfair that you have dealt with all the cancer crap and now you have this to deal with too.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Just bumping this up in case you didn’t realise there were two threads running


it depends how much it matters - you know you are in the right.

If it’s a work thing in UK then tribunal…
if it is other stuff…

seek appropriate advice but do what is right for you


Hi Christiane

It is very difficult to give an opinon without more information (I’m not asking for more I’m just qulaifying what I am writing…

One thing that is clear to me is that you need to move on … the question is what is the best way to do this?

If you go down the legal route you will be swimming about in this legal process for ages … which of course means reliving it. Are you sure that you want to do that? The problem with the legal process is that it applies the law - which is not necesarily the same as natural justice … so you could be disappointed

If you do not clear your name then can you get over it? Can it be forgotten? (Hard to know without knowing what it is).

Is there by any chance a third way? Can anything be done without going the whole hog ? Can you ask for a retraction of some kind? Can you go for councelling to help you come to terms with the injustice?

Something to consider is these two scenarios …

You do the legal action , it takes ages, takes over your life for months/years to the extent that it impacts on you enjoying yourself … you look back and think “was it worth it?” … how does that feel?


You don’t do the legal action … try and get over it … but it keeps following you around (how likely is this really) … and you look back and think “I wish I had tried to clear my name” … how does that feel?

The way I feel right now is that life is short and I’d rather enjoy myself … but having said that I’m not quite sure how serious this is and the impact that not clearing your name will have on your life … all I know is that life isn’t far and sometimes you just have to accept it

good luck - let us know what you decide to do - we are right behind you
Lots of love
FB xxxx

I nearly forgot - you need to think how easily you an afford it … is it just that you would prefer not to spend the money or will you ahve to make sacrifices to do it?

Thank you all so much for your replies. You are all so wise. I cannot see the wood for the trees - and also my emotions get in the way. I cannot even write this without tears.

I have sent solicitors letters but the group are only playing ‘ping pong’ with them and deliberately running up legal expenses without dealing with the points in the letters. The word ‘defamation’ has been mentioned to them but because they are a group hiding behind each other they do not appear to be taking me seriously. They are intellectual bullies - all male!

They have now offered me ‘mediation’ which I will do. If the outcome of the mediation is not acceptable to me I shall then have to decide whether to go legal with a ‘defamation of character’ action. Mediation does not change the fact that they have defamed me and that is very important to me.

Costs are an issue if I go down the legal ‘defamation of character’ route but I could fund it - just.

All this has been going on whilst I have been and I still am dealing with my cancer over the last 2 years and ongoing.

Please do keep advising me - you are all so very wise and I am ‘listening’ to all your comments.

Christiane x
(PS Sorry about the 2 threads.)

Hi Christiane

I am going to close this thread and the discussion can then continue on the other. Hope that is okay

Best wishes