Hi all
I am new to this site having been diagnosed with BC on the 18 May 2011 - don’t think I will ever forget that date. The hardest thing initially was protecting my children who were either sitting finals at uni, first year uni exams or AS Levels. I kept it from them initially so that they could complete their studies without worrying about me. They all now know and have been so positive and strong, taking it in turns being on “mum duty”. My hubbie has been incredible, loving, supportive and trying very hard to make me smile. Friends and family invaluable. I’m still in the whirlwind round of appointments having undergone firstly a WLE and removal of 2 sentinel nodes in early June and then unfortunately the results were not as we had hoped so I had to undergo a mastectomy and removal of another 22 nodes early July. I am scheduled to see my Consultant on Thursday for the full results but my fantastic breast care nurse has spoken to me advising that the remaining nodes are clear - woohoo!. They still want me to undergo Chemo and then start on Tomoxifen so I have some moutains to climb yet. I just want to smile again.
Having strong, positive and supportive people around me has helped so much and I cannot speak highly enough of the treatment and support I have received from the NHS so far - Nicky my BCN is a diamond.
Bosley, that’s one heck of a mill you’ve been through so far, so no wonder you’re feeling a bit flattened.
As for when I felt like smiling again, pretty soon actually, and usually when I’ve been able to turn my back on the cancer and put it to one side for a moment or two. I’m fat, I’m bald, I’m tired, but I can usually find something or other to smile about. I don’t think I need to have a stupid massive grin on my face, just laughing at something stupid the cat does is enough to keep me going for the next five minutes.
CM
x
Hi Bosley
It’s horrible isn’t it! I was dx at the end of May with invasive lobular carcinoma - sentinel node biopsy removed 5 nodes all of which tested positive. Bone and CT scan came back normal (that was when I started smiling again) I am having Chemo prior to surgery as they want to try and shrink the tumour first and also blast away anything that might be on the move. My children are pretty much grown up now. Daughter of 32, sons of 25 and 21, grandchildren of 7 and 3. My family were devastated when I was diagnosed, my daughter cried and cried about not wanting me to have to go through this. But I am going through it, as all the family is in their own way. It is do-able. And the roller coaster does slow down from time to time.
Best place to be is here when things get tough. There is always someone around who will answer your questions and/or offer a virtual hand hold and hug.
I still get lots of enjoyment out of life, yes I am losing my hair and putting on weight (I blame the steroids) but I haven’t lost my sense of humour. Don’t get me wrong, I have my occasional melt downs but I think there would be something seriously wrong with me if I didn’t.
Keep a diary - write down everything that you have to be thankful for, and everything that made you smile that day - it could be something as simple as seeing a lovely flower or feeling the sun on your face.
Keep your chin up xx
I’m reminded of this poem someone sent me:
What Cancer cannot do:
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot conquer Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life.
and I would add It cannot take away my sense of humour! You WILL smile again - often at the small things… take one day at a time… and when they’re bad days, as has been said, there are people here who will listen to you…Jane
Thank you everyone - my dad always tell’s me to keep my chin up and I’m doing that right now. Reading the various posts on this site has reinforced my resolve to be positive and there is still lots to smile about. My appointment has been brought forward to this afternoon and hopefully by 5.00pm I will be smiling.
Thank you everyone xx
I am not having chemo, and am wary about posting, because I am just facing rads and tamoxifan. I did have little cheerful moments and laughs right from the start, but I did not realy smile again till the day after I saw the oncologist, visited the radiology to see the set up and got my treatment plan in place. All of a sudden there was no worrying about what was going to happen. Ok there was the inconvenience of going to the hospital every day for a month (they do not give you a prebooked appointment plan, you do not know till the day before when you have to go into hospital, so I cannot plan anything for that month) I might have various side effects, especially from the Tamoxifan, but the fear of the unknown had gone.
I rememember driving up to the studio and suddenly realising that I had been planning other things as I drove along rather than going over and over the same old things that I had been worrying about since I found the lump—and I grinned from ear to ear.
i know the chemo is more arduous , but perhaps it might be the same, once they have laid out what is going to happen to you,no matter how unpleasant, you can stop speculating and worrying and your brain will have space to feel a bit more like smiling again
Jane
What a wonderful posting - thanks so much - yes it’s made me smile!